Trusting family members with something as sensitive as your child’s SSN should never feel risky, but this woman and her husband were left questioning their in-laws’ intentions when they tried to use their son’s information for personal gain.
The in-laws had been claiming to care for their grandson in order to get food, but when asked for the SSN to continue, they crossed a line.
With the possibility of identity theft looming, the couple felt compelled to take action. Was it an overreaction to threaten reporting them, or was protecting their son’s identity the right course of action? Read on to explore how the couple navigated the complex decision.
A mother recently discovered that her in-laws were attempting to use her son’s identity to fraudulently obtain food from food banks
In parenting, nothing feels more urgent than protecting your child’s safety, especially when it comes to their identity and future. Many parents understand that a child’s personal information is sacred, and the idea of someone else using it without permission can trigger deep anxiety and a sense of violation.
In this story, the OP and her husband were faced with such a breach of trust from the people who should have cared for their son. This pushed them into a complex emotional space where love, responsibility, and ethics collided.
Beneath the surface of this situation lies the emotional pain of realizing that people close to you may not share your values. OP’s in‑laws not only misrepresented their caregiving role to a food bank but also asked for their son’s Social Security number to continue receiving benefits.
This request crossed a clear boundary. Most parents instinctively recoil at sharing a child’s SSN except when legally and legitimately required, something experts warn against because of the real risk of identity theft and fraud. (Consumer Advice)
Psychologically, setting boundaries with family can stir intense reactions. According to Psychology Today, family boundaries define what behaviors you find acceptable from others and what you won’t tolerate.
They help maintain emotional and mental well-being by clearly communicating your limits and protecting your family from harm. When those boundaries are violated, especially by loved ones, it can trigger old wounds and unresolved emotional triggers, making the act of saying “no” feel both necessary and painful.
This expert insight helps clarify why OP’s refusal wasn’t just a logistical decision; it was an emotional stand for her family’s safety and integrity. Protecting a child’s identity from misuse isn’t only prudent; it’s foundational to responsible parenting.
Identity theft is a growing risk, and children’s SSNs are particularly vulnerable because they typically have clean credit histories that fraudsters can exploit. OP’s reaction stemmed from a need to shield her son from long‑term harm, not merely to avoid discomfort.
Understanding that parents have a right, even a duty, to safeguard their child’s personal information provides perspective on OP’s firm stance. Her choice reflects not only common sense but also respect for her child’s autonomy and future.
While confronting dishonesty in extended family is never easy, the situation underscores two important ideas: protecting what matters most often requires tough decisions, and not all requests, even from family, deserve compliance.
By prioritizing her child’s well-being over temporary family harmony, OP acted in a way that aligns with both emotional instincts and broader principles of safety and trust.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
These commenters agree that asking for an SSN at a food bank is highly unusual and likely indicates fraudulent intentions
These Redditors emphasize the importance of freezing credit and checking for potential fraud
This group acknowledges that food banks may require ID, but they stress that asking for SSNs is not normal
These users are unsure about the practice of food banks asking for SSNs
These commenters suggest reporting the in-laws’ actions to the food bank quietly and without involving the husband
Can this relationship be salvaged, or has the breach of trust gone too far? How would you handle a family member who crossed this line? Share your thoughts below.
