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Man Berated A Parent For His Child’s Racist Comments, And Things Got Messy

by Annie Nguyen
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

It’s not every day that a train ride turns into a lesson in morality and parenting, but sometimes life throws the unexpected at you. One Redditor found himself in precisely that situation, sitting next to a father and his young son who started expressing openly troubling views.

The boy’s words were shocking, and the father didn’t step in to correct him. Naturally, this prompted the poster to confront the parent, sparking an argument that escalated quickly. The incident left everyone involved shaken, including bystanders.

What happened next, and whether he was in the wrong, became a topic of heated debate online. Scroll down to see the full story and the verdict of the Reddit community.

A commuter faces a child making shocking racist remarks, and tensions rise with the dad

Man Berated A Parent For His Child’s Racist Comments, And Things Got Messy
not the actual photo

AITA for shouting at a parent for their 8/9 year old kids racist remarks?

I got onto quite a packed train, but not too packed in that seating space is tight but there's plenty of standing room.

I sit next to a kid with his father who are about 8/9 years old and 40 respectively.

Then the kid starts saying stuff like "I don't want to sit next to you, and asks his dad to move."

The dad refuses and the kid goes on "I don't like black people, they're scary... they're bad people etc".

The kid starts arguing with his dad and muffles in a "but you" as his dad shuts him up.

Not that this matters but, I'm actually quite good looking, slim and dressed in casual business wear.

So there really wasn't anything I could have done to actually scare this kid.

Anyways, I give this kid a death stare and he starts to s__t himself.

As I'm about to speak to him, I give up and turn to his father.

Then I start to berate him and what he's teaching his child.

In effect, I called him a bad parent and a r__ist along with some other choice words.

Father explodes and starts yelling "how dare I speak to him like that?", calls me "unemployed waste of space"

and other defensive remarks. Things start to heat up, kid starts to cry, and then I walk away.

I asked my siblings about it and she said it might not be the dad's fault.

Her kids, although younger, built their own perception

and were pretty afraid of the darker members of our extended family they didn't see as much.

It was only until they went to school and made friends that it all went away.

So now, I'm not sure if IATA for calling out the dad and berating him in front of his kid. IATA?

There’s a deep, almost universal discomfort when one hears a child express fear or hatred toward another simply because of the way they look.

Many people have felt that shock: the moment when a child’s words shatter the illusion that prejudice is only an adult problem, reminding us how early and how quietly bias can take root.

For the train rider, that moment wasn’t just uncomfortable; it felt like a moral call to witness: a child internalising harmful beliefs, potentially under the unchallenged guidance of a parent.

In this situation, the core emotional dynamic wasn’t just about a kid being rude or scared; it was about witnessing something far more insidious: a nascent prejudice being treated as acceptable. The father’s refusal to intervene turned a teachable moment into a tacit permission.

For the rider, the rage and urgency didn’t come from personal insult; it came from seeing the beginning of what could grow into deeply rooted bias.

The father’s silence and the child’s declaration of “I don’t like black people” carried more weight than an insult; they represented a transmission of fear, ignorance, and exclusion. That alarm triggered a powerful emotional reaction.

Viewed through a psychological lens, children do not emerge out of the womb with racial prejudice; they learn it from what they hear, and even more so from what they see. According to a study published in the journal Dædalus, infants and young children “are not born harbouring racial biases, but they are born learning.”

Researchers found that by the time many children enter school, they may already carry implicit biases not always from overt teaching, but from subtle cues: who adults pay attention to, how they interact nonverbally, how comfort or discomfort is conveyed around different people.

Further, recent work shows that when parents engage children in honest, “colour-conscious” conversations about race, openly acknowledging differences and addressing prejudiced negative biases toward racial out-groups can decrease significantly.

That suggests prejudice isn’t fixed: early interventions, open dialogue, and conscious parenting can reshape a child’s attitudes before they become hardened.

This helps us reinterpret the train rider’s impulse: his harsh words may have come from anger, but they also reflect a deep, human instinct to defend equality and dignity to interrupt the quiet passing on of fear.

It’s a reminder that silence, or even passive refusal to act, can facilitate prejudice just as powerfully as words of hate.

Still, experts caution that confrontation alone may not be enough. The most effective change comes with guided discussions, calm, honest, and age‑appropriate talks about race, identity, and respect.

In that sense, the rider’s outburst, while emotionally understandable, might achieve more if followed by a compassionate conversation rather than shame.

It suggests that the most lasting correction comes not from condemnation alone, but from modelled empathy, openness, and consistent values which, given the right support, the father (or anyone else) could still embrace.

In the end, hearing a child say “I don’t like black people” is a call to awareness not only about what they’re learning now, but about what they might carry forward. And as bystanders or adults, we can choose to respond with outrage, or with thoughtful guidance: to interrupt prejudice, but also to replace it with understanding.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters support OP, saying he was right to confront racism and isn’t responsible for educating others

[Reddit User] − Nta. He's responsible for raising his children,

and that remark about you being jobless shows his true colours.

Fair play to you for standing up to this guy who is clearly teaching his kids this

or at least not educating them properly.

HappyRainbowSparkle − Nta. Sounds like it was the dad's fault

or he wasn't bothering to change the kids behaviour

jmarie19144 − Live your life. You did nothing wrong.

Don’t listen to these obvious white people in here thinking it’s your job to make white people comfortable

and making it seem like you must be the perfect upstanding citizen/black race representative

to show/tell them that in fact, black people are not scary.

FriskStark − The amount of victim blaming here is outstanding.

This is a clear NTA, he doesn't owe any kind of respect

or gentleness to someone who's hating on him just because of his skin color.

The comment from the dad tells you everything you need.

POC should not be seen as a polite punchbag. Maybe the kid will finally learn that actions have consequences.

trkkr47 − NTA It’s not your job to educate or tolerate those idiots.

This group feels both OP and the father erred, escalating instead of teaching the child

KaanBickin − ESH. Of course it's not alright that a young boy comes up

and says xenophobic stuff like that, but you could've handled it better.

You could've talked to the father and ask him kindly to explain that black people aren't scary or bad people,

and that if he does not get rid of such ideology that it'd bite him in his b__t in the future.

​ The dad could've also handled it better, but we don't know how well he parents and so on.

dmk120281 − ESH, and you might suck the most because you escalated the situation when it didn’t need to be.

For those commentators that are automatically assuming that this kid was being raised as a r__ist,

you must not spend time around kids. They say dumb s__t.

They don’t know any better. This was a wonderful opportunity for the kid to learn that dark people aren’t scary.

What was your reaction? You stared the kid down with a “death stare,” and yelled at his dad.

Do you see the irony here?

corsair1617 − ESH. You say on one had you "couldn't do anything to scare the child"

and in the next sentence you "give him the death stare and he starts to s__t himself".

What? You are an adult and that is a kid.

Then you berate the kids father in front of him

which is just going to give causation to the negative stereotypes the kid already had.

The father may or may not have been the reasoning behind those prejudices.

The father should have explained it to the son but what you did only exacerbated the situation.

[Reddit User] − ESH, you think berating the dad in front of his kid is gonna change how the kid sees black people.

Nice job buddy. You just reinforced exactly what the kid thought.

These users think OP’s actions reinforced the kid’s fears and worsened the situation

mulligun − YTA. Are people taking crazy pills here? The dad clearly didn't tolerate what the kid said,

OP explains that he shut the kid down and stopped him from talking back.

Then OP decides to openly berate the father after he's already dealt with the child? Massive a__hole.

Sure the Dad could have apologised to OP,

but he was probably feeling incredibly embarrassed that his child had just said that in front of everyone

and was focused on making it go away.

OP comes out and calls the father a r__ist and a bad parent and is surprised that he isn't polite back to him.

F__king tool.

VoicelessPineapple − YTA. The kid is afraid of black strangers,

at 8 year old you can't blame him, 8 year olds are afraid of all kind of things especially

when they don't know them or had a bad 1st impression.

And instead of reassuring him and making good impression,

you reinforce his fears by death staring at him and berating his father.

There is not enough info about the father,

but looks like he wanted to de escalate the situation until you started to admonest him.

This train ride conflict underscores a broader question: how do you confront ignorance without escalating tension? Public outrage is natural, but children absorb lessons from both confrontation and calm guidance.

Do you prioritise immediate justice or long-term education? The stranger’s experience shows that moral responsibility can collide with real-world social dynamics, especially when kids are involved. Do you think the passenger handled it well, or should a more strategic approach have been taken? Share your hot takes below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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