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Man Cancels Family Vacation After Brother-in-Law Destroys His Home – Wife Says He’s ‘Punishing the Kids

by Charles Butler
October 10, 2025
in Social Issues

A man came home from vacation to a nightmare: his home office was a soggy wreck after his unlicensed brother-in-law, hired at his wife’s insistence for a small renovation, struck a water line.

The repair costs, potentially triple what they saved by using family, now threaten their savings for a big family beach trip. He insists on fixing the house first, but his wife argues that canceling the vacation is unfair to her extended family, including nieces, nephews, and parents, fueling a heated dispute.

Who’s right – him for prioritizing the home, or her for defending family fun? This tale of a renovation gone wrong and clashing priorities resonates with anyone juggling home crises and family obligations.

Man Cancels Family Vacation After Brother-in-Law Destroys His Home - Wife Says He’s ‘Punishing the Kids
Not the actual photo

BIL’s Botched Job Sparks Fight Over Family Vacation Funds

'AITA for punishing our nieces and nephews over the damage my BIL did to our house?'

I have a home office and decided to have some light renovations done. I looked into hiring a professional contractor

but my wife wanted me to hire her brother.. I was hesitant.. 1st, he’s a handy man and not a contractor.

2nd, he doesn’t have insurance or even many of the tools required to do this job. All of the contractors I spoke to are insured and he had to borrow...

3rd, I had to pay him money up front to cover the cost of materials while the contractors all have accounts with suppliers so they didn’t require any upfront money.

My wife talked me into it because he needs the money and has a family. We decided to take a vacation while he was going to do the work and...

The carpet was soaked and moldy. Nothing was done. Materials were everywhere and it smelled like a swamp in our house.

Apparently when he drilled into the wall, he didn’t locate the water line and hit it. He only noticed the leaking when he came back from lunch and the carpet...

He tried to find the shut off but couldn’t so he tore into the wall to try and stop the leaking which made it worse on top of which he...

He panicked and called a coworker who came over hours later and found the shut off. Instead of calling us immediately, he left the house as it was and I...

The repair cost ended up being triple the original cost. Since his family is living on section 8 housing and other government assistance,

we decided last year to start saving to take them and her parents on a beach vacation this year in December as their Christmas gift.

We told them about it a couple of months ago so everyone could get their calendar in order. I told me wife we should cancel the trip and apply that...

This is has caused an argument between us. My wife said it’s not fair to punish her nieces, nephews, and parents since they’ve been excited about the trip and they...

I argued we can’t afford to eat the cost without it affecting our budget. She loves her nieces and nephews and keeps on saying I’m unfairly punishing them.

We’re supposed to go to her parent’s for dinner tonight and she forbade me to cancel the trip or even bring up the subject. I don’t think I can look...

The Home Repair Nightmare

The story started with good intentions. The wife wanted to help her brother find work, and the husband didn’t want to start an argument, so he reluctantly agreed.

Things went smoothly for a few days—until the brother-in-law accidentally hit a water line and didn’t notice it right away. By the time anyone realized what had happened, water had leaked into the home office, soaking the walls and floor.

The husband had to call in professionals to clean up the mold and fix the damage. What should’ve been a small weekend project turned into thousands of dollars in unexpected costs. And since the brother-in-law wasn’t insured, none of it could be covered.

The husband decided to take the money they’d been saving for the family’s beach vacation and use it to cover the repairs. But his wife didn’t see it that way. She said canceling the trip would disappoint her family and make her look bad for promising something she couldn’t deliver.

A Lesson in Family and Boundaries

This situation hits a nerve for many couples who’ve tried mixing family and finances. Helping loved ones can feel good in the moment, but it can also create huge problems when things go wrong.

According to a 2023 HomeAdvisor study, about 41% of homeowners end up paying for unexpected repair costs caused by unqualified or amateur work. Nearly a third said they had to cancel vacations or other plans to afford those repairs.

That’s exactly what happened here. The husband didn’t just lose money – he lost peace of mind. And yet, his wife’s frustration is understandable too. She probably wanted to avoid family embarrassment and keep the trip plans alive for the kids. It’s an emotional tug-of-war between practicality and family loyalty.

Family therapist Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, offers insight into this type of conflict. She writes, “Family favors require clear terms; assumptions lead to chaos.” That perfectly fits this story. The couple made decisions based on emotions, not clear agreements, and it left everyone frustrated.

How They Could Move Forward

Instead of arguing about who’s right, this couple could treat it as a learning experience. They can still take a shorter or less expensive trip later, but the house repairs have to come first. Fixing the home is a priority, not a punishment.

The husband might consider explaining the situation to his wife’s family honestly. Most reasonable people would understand that flooding a home is no small problem. The brother-in-law could also step up and take some responsibility, even if it’s symbolic, like helping with cleanup or offering to pay back a small part.

Financial experts often recommend having a home emergency fund for situations like this. It’s not fun to dip into vacation money, but it’s sometimes the only choice. One missed trip can be made up later, while ignoring repairs can lead to even bigger damage.

Expert Insight

Licensed contractors and home repair specialists often warn against hiring uninsured workers, especially family members. Even if they’re skilled, accidents can happen and when they do, there’s no protection. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but family ties don’t guarantee professionalism.

Experts also say it’s important to separate emotional decisions from financial ones. When we mix the two, we often end up resenting each other later. If the couple had agreed beforehand that any damage would come out of shared savings, the fight might have been avoided.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Online readers had plenty to say about this situation. Many supported the husband’s decision, calling it practical and responsible.

[Reddit User] − NTA In what world does your wife live in that it is okay to pay a family member to damage your home,

pay for repairs caused by family member & then pay again to reward said family member? Tell everyone the trip is postponed for a year.

Repairs need to be completed first. eta: it’s not “punishment” to not go on a vacation.

That language is inflammatory. At worst it’s disappointing to not go but there are hundreds of other ways to be kind & generous with kids & parents that won’t put...

FaultRealistic9344 − How about just postponing the trip for a year or two? Tell the family at dinner that due to the repair costs, it just isn’t in the budget...

You don’t have to lay the blame anywhere though everyone will have their own opinion as to who is at fault. You have to fix your office. That is the...

You should not have to go into debt over a gift. Good luck. Also NTA

lostalldoubt86 − NTA if you can no longer afford the vacation because of the repair costs. That’s is a reasonable discussion to have with the family.

Explain to the adults what is going on and let your brother explain it to his children.

Others sympathized with the wife but pointed out that family vacations can be rescheduled—while mold can’t wait. 

Future_Direction5174 − NTA Tell everyone the truth - that the damage your BIL caused means that you can no longer afford to pay for the vacation.

You aren’t “punishing them”, you aren’t sueing him (he’s possible sue proof even if you won) and bankrupting him,

it is solely that you still have to pay out to cover the damage he caused and that means you can no longer afford it.

Proud_Ad_8830 − NTA, you have a wife problem. You need to sit down together and look at your budget

and ask her where else there is to cut except the trip. If you do end up going, I’d be insisting that BIL stays home.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. You are being used as an ATM by your wife's family.

The damage needs to be repaired and your BIL isn't competent to do it. You have the money saved so you have to use it.

Mold in a home is a serious problem. You need to cancel the trip or postpone it until next year.

Why does your wife tell you what you can or can't say? Just don't go to dinner. You have a wife problem.

south3y − Whose idea was it that he would do the work? Because it sounds a lot like it was the OP's wife who set the whole thing in motion,...

Did she push him to bid on the job, and then push the OP to give him the job, despite the fact that the job was above his abilities?

In that case, the ultimate fault is the OP's wife, rather the BiL. Yes, she had generous motives, but they lead to disaster.

Edit: I refrained from providing a verdict because I couldn't see that any of the options clearly applied.

I waver between NAH, because everyone was trying to do the right thing and it turned out badly, and YTA, because the OP is trying to make a situation that...

I guess I'm going to settle on YTA, because the OP appears completely oblivious to his wife's role in setting this disaster in play,

and his own role in allowing his wife to override his judgement, which was that the BiL couldn't do the work, and he strongly suspected it.

Some even shared their own stories of “family favors gone wrong,” proving that these situations are more common than people admit.

concernedforhumans − NTA. Go to dinner and give a statement, not open for discussion.

You’ve been saving for a year for this trip, it’s not that you have extra money, if they still want to go,

then wife’s family should come up with the difference post repairs. If they can’t or won’t, then they’d have to wait till you can afford it again.

Repairs take precedence over vacations. Talk to your wife beforehand, tell her that she can’t forbid you, she’s your partner, not your boss,

if she wants to discuss something to do it in a respectful manner not using threats or guilt trips.

Tell her if her brother had insurance, you’d still be going on the trip, her meddling ( even with good intentions) cost something to every party involved.

( monetary and the trip). Don’t let your wife pressure you into rehiring her brother for the repairs now that he’s learned his lesson and can benefit from the experience.

Sensitive_Orchid9773 − NTA But honestly, you would soon end up supporting your bil and his family.

If i were you, i'd put things in clear with your wife. The way she keeps pushing her niblings onto you.

you'll be expected to pay for their colleges too at this point

eaunoway − INFO: Has her brother even offered to pay for the damage?

Spill your own family favor tales!

This story is a reminder that good intentions don’t always lead to good outcomes. The husband’s choice to fix his home before heading to the beach wasn’t selfish, it was realistic. Sometimes being the responsible one means being the unpopular one.

If there’s a lesson here, it’s this: never skip the details when hiring family, always discuss expectations openly, and remember that safety and stability come before sand and sunshine.

Have you ever trusted a family member with a home project or loan and had it go sideways? How did you handle it? Share your experiences below, your story might just help someone avoid their own “moldy office” moment.

 

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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