Man Considers Secret DNA Tests On Kids After Boss Uncovers Wife’s Decades-Long Betrayal

A devoted dad, haunted by his boss’s crumbling world after a 26-year-old affair secret exposed via DNA, spirals into paranoia over his own rock-solid marriage and three toddlers. No red flags at home, yet he’s plotting secret paternity tests, wrestling if baseless doubt makes him the villain.

Reddit’s gripped by this trust-tightrope saga, blending secondhand trauma with family fireworks. Pure “what if?” fallout turns a decade of bliss into a nagging nightmare, splitting opinions on sneaking truth versus shattering peace.

Devoted dad considers secret paternity tests after boss’s DNA betrayal, despite no issues in his own marriage.

Is this okay for dads to have paternity test for his children to see if they are his own, without wives’ knowing? Controversial as it sounds, one dad has been fighting himself over the decision to do so. Is he all unreasonable? Let’s find out.

This Redditor’s dilemma boils down to zero suspicion versus a tsunami of “just in case” vibes from his coworker’s betrayal.

On one side, he’s adamant: no distrust toward his Betty Crocker-esque wife of 10 years. On the flip, the boss’s “perfect” spouse hid a double life for decades, leading to divorce and divided assets.

It’s a classic case of proximity paranoia. Why let one man’s wreckage capsize your ship?

Flip the script to the wife’s potential view: imagine discovering your partner secretly swabbed the kids because a stranger’s story planted seeds of doubt. That’s a stealth accusation that could shatter trust like fine china in a toddler tantrum.

The Redditor admits it’s all borrowed anxiety, not homegrown issues. His boss regrets not testing quietly to dodge the public meltdown, but sneaking around invites its own explosion. Keep in mind, wives aren’t mind-readers, and secrecy screams bigger problems than it solves.

Broadening the lens, paternity fraud pops up in heated online debates, but stats keep it rare. A 2005 review in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health pegged non-paternity rates at 1-3% in Western societies, often from studies of disputed cases rather than random families.

It’s not an epidemic justifying blanket tests, yet forums buzz with horror stories amplifying the fear.

This ties into bigger family dynamics: modern marriages thrive on open communication, not covert ops. Hiding tests risks escalating minor worries into major rifts, echoing how social media echo chambers turn anecdotes into perceived norms.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute, nails it: “But how do you build trust? What I’ve found through research is that trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments, after the movie Sliding Doors.

Applied here, the Redditor’s urge stems from empathy overload, but acting on it undermines those “small moments” with his wife.

A neutral fix? Chat openly about the boss’s saga—frame it as processing trauma, not probing her fidelity.

Therapy could unpack the paranoia without DNA kits, couples counseling stats show 70-80% improvement in trust issues when addressed early, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Ultimately, if no signs point to deceit, lean into the marriage you’ve built.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some say secretly testing would destroy trust in the marriage.

Some point out the idea shows underlying distrust.

Some criticize perpetuating myths about divorce laws.

Some warn secrecy would betray the wife’s trust.

This Redditor’s boss-fueled freakout highlights how one shattered family can ripple doubt into another.

Secret tests might dodge immediate drama but gamble with lifelong trust – fair play when the stakes are your kids’ sense of security, or an overreach born of borrowed blues?

How would you juggle empathy for a heartbroken colleague without letting it hijack your home?