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Man Gets Fed Up After Neighbors Build A Fire Pit On His Property Without Asking

by Annie Nguyen
January 19, 2026
in Social Issues

Private property can become a sensitive topic when it overlaps with shared routines. Once people believe something belongs to everyone, taking it away feels personal, even if it never truly was.

In this case, the original poster lives in a neighborhood shaped by unusual land divisions. His backyard extends far beyond what most people would expect, and for years, he allowed others to enjoy part of it under clear conditions.

Those boundaries were tested when a new family treated the space as if it were public, ignoring instructions and creating safety risks.

After one final incident, the poster decided to reclaim his land entirely. The fallout affected far more people than he intended, including children who had done nothing wrong. Now he is torn between guilt and frustration, asking whether patience should have gone even further.

A man generously allowed neighborhood kids to use his large backyard as a football field until one family repeatedly ignored boundaries, damaged property, and put lives at risk.

Man Gets Fed Up After Neighbors Build A Fire Pit On His Property Without Asking
not actual the photo

'AITA For walling off my backyard because I dislike 2 kids and depriving everyone else as a result?'

I live in a non-English-speaking European country and because of history, that means land borders between properties are sometimes very weird.

Well that is the case with my house and the neighbors, all our houses are about the same size yet out

of all the land behind our houses my area is huge I own like 90% of all land there reaching all the way to the woods far behind our houses,

meanwhile all my neighbors essentially got tiny strip right behind their houses.

Now the part right behind my house is fenced off yet the rest is pretty much open and my wife and daughters like to use it for gardening.

The field is used by most of the neighborhood boys to play football on as it is the only flat piece of grassland around they always

ask for permission to use it before hand and I always allow it on the condition I get no complaints if I tell them to leave and they don't litter.

I also recently had a pool installed to the far back of my property and fenced it off, this is important later.

Well this is where the issue starts, recently a new family moved in and they seem to think it is public land. I kept catching their kids

running around through the flowers and vegetable garden and they even moved their grill on the field and held a picnic on my land.

I keep telling them off and informing it is my land, but they just ignore me and the kids sometimes wont leave when I tell them to.

A month ago the kids even climbed over the fence around the pool and when I got them out and went to their parents

they just said, "Oh, we figured it was a public pool", I had hoped that was the end of it yet these people build a fire pit in the 3...

I was away from my house and when I got back I found it with a bunch of empty beer cans around.

That was the last straw for me and I hired a company owned by a buddy of mine from when I used to do construction work,

bought all the supplies, and 7 days later and a lot of money lighter, my entire property was walled off and whenever anyone asked I told them

why I was doing that and who they could thank for it. Well now the new family is treated as if they are a pest

and all the neighborhood kids are gutted they lost their football field, which has resulted in them picking on the new neighbors' kids.

I honestly feel pretty terrible, but I also feel like I gave them plenty of warnings before taking drastic actions.

At first glance, this story looks like a classic case of neighborly drama gone too far. A man had land, kids played on it, new neighbors crossed boundaries, and suddenly a wall went up.

But beneath the surface, the conflict highlights two much bigger issues: boundary erosion and liability denial, both of which experts say often escalate when generosity is mistaken for entitlement.

Psychologists frequently point out that unclear or unenforced boundaries can encourage repeat violations. According to Dr. Henry Cloud, co-author of the widely cited book Boundaries, “people who don’t respect limits often interpret kindness as permission rather than generosity.”

His work emphasizes that boundaries are not punishments but protections designed to prevent resentment and harm when one side continually takes more than what was offered.

In this case, the homeowner did set rules: permission was required, no damage was allowed, and people were expected to leave when asked. The issue wasn’t a lack of boundaries; it was that one family repeatedly ignored them, forcing enforcement to escalate from verbal reminders to physical barriers.

Safety experts would argue that the pool incident alone justified drastic action. The World Health Organization reports that drowning is one of the leading causes of unintentional death among children worldwide, especially in situations involving unsupervised access to private pools or open water.

The WHO also stresses that physical barriers, such as fencing, are among the most effective prevention measures.

From a legal and ethical standpoint, homeowners can still be held responsible if injuries occur on their property even when children enter without permission. This makes the parents’ claim that they “assumed it was public land” particularly alarming.

Experts widely agree that assuming access does not remove accountability, especially when hazards like pools or fire pits are involved.

There’s also a behavioral layer worth noting. Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, who frequently writes about child and adolescent development, explains that children learn boundaries largely through adult modeling.

When parents dismiss rules or downplay consequences, children internalize the idea that limits are flexible or negotiable. Over time, this can lead to repeated rule-breaking and entitlement-based behavior.

From a neutral perspective, the wall wasn’t an act of punishment; it was a form of risk containment. The homeowner didn’t revoke access after one mistake; the decision came only after repeated warnings, property damage, fire hazards, and unsafe behavior. Experts would likely agree that when verbal boundaries fail, structural ones often follow.

In the end, this situation highlights an uncomfortable reality: generosity without respect is unsustainable. And sometimes, protecting everyone, including children, means drawing a line that can’t be stepped over.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters agreed a few entitled kids ruined things by disrespecting private land

pintopetz − NTA. It just takes a few assholes to ruin it for everyone.

You repeatedly told them it was private property and they repeatedly trespassed and disrespected it anyway.

BisquickNinja − NTA And This is why we can't have nice things.

They abused your generosity and were shocked when you'd had enough? Talk about entitlement.

Hiyakitty1990 − Nta. You warned them and after all it is your land. Not theirs.

No1much − Nta. So what if the kids are getting bullied. It's a good life lesson that actions have consequences.

It may also teach the parents to raise their kids with manners.

This group stressed safety and legal liability, which made walling off the land necessary

mk36109 − Nta, not only did you give them plenty of warnings, but that is a huge saftey and liability issue

if people are out there without your knowledge doing things like starting fires and getting in a pool without permission or you being aware.

Someone could get really hurt or your property could be completely destroy.

Its good the other neighbors dont blame you and that really shows even they think nta. These kids parents are either dumb or irresponsible.

Perhaps if there is still enough open room in the yards to play, you can let the good kids play

(indoor soccer with walls is a smaller field often and a lot of fun) and you can maybe give the new kids a couple of chances

if they follow your instructions(maybe they have learned their lesson) and if not then just dont let them join

pimentoplanes − Nta. There was a post here about a guy who had pretty much the same situation as you.

He had a ton of land and let the neighborhood kids use it and put up a soccer net there. One of them broke his arm running

and the dad decided to sue him and won, so the neighbor put up a fence and wouldnt let anyone use the land anymore.

It sucks because you're trying to do a nice thing but at the end of the day it's a huge liability.

Imagine if one of those kids drowns in that pool bc their parents don't supervise them? At a certain point it's for their own safety.

You did the right thing and it's a shame the other kids suffer but dont feel guilty about it

Master-Manipulation − NTA The pool incident alone was a huge safety hazard. Imagine if the kids drowned!

You’d be up to your neck in lawsuits. The fire pit was also dangerous too as they could’ve put the land on fire.

You need to protect yourself financially and legally first before feeling pity

StevenZissouniverse − NTA let me tell you living in the US backyard pools are a huge liability when it comes to kids playing unsupervised

I think you did what you had to do after they left you no other choice. They were disrespectful and they were litter bugs.

They might "think its public land" until one of their kids gets hurt on it, then they'll know whose property it is soon enough when they want to sue

(again from the US where frivolous lawsuits have crippled our courts and in fact our freedom of speech and freedom of the press).

The fact that you feel bad about it shows that you're NTA.

It sucks that those kids lost their football field especially because they followed the rules but it just takes one bad apple to ruin it for everyone.

These users backed OP for being honest about who caused the situation

Narcissa96 − NTA. It's your property and you were very understanding.

Also, I don't think it's bad you tell people who ask you, whose behaviour it was that ultimately made you decide to wall it off. It's the truth.

[Reddit User] − NTA - it’s absolutely your neighbours fault.

These commenters suggested controlled access could still work if rules are enforced

Fetus5 − NTA. Kids/their parents ruined it for everyone. Just tell everyone else who mentions it, that's what happened.

You could always install a gate, and let some kids in to play football and such, if you felt bad about it. (You don't have to at all).

DanDamage12 − NTA. There may be a language barrier, is it a Wall or a fence? Can the kids just ask you to be let in to play football?

thrown666928492 − NTA, it's your property and they should have respected that.

You could consider still letting the other children use the field, it shouldn't matter that it has a wall now.

Bookaholicforever − NTA. I would say if people come and ask permission and follow the previous rules,

you’re happy for them to play but make it absolutely clear that if anyone breaks those rules, that the offer will be rescinded for good.

I can almost 100% guarantee the kids will be super strict with everyone because they know you mean business and they want a place to play still.

This commenter focused on how shocking and dangerous the fire pit incident was

LightningMom − Wait. they BUILT A FIRE PIT ON YOUR PROPERTY in the few days you were away? Please tell me more. NTA.

Most readers sympathized with the homeowner, even while mourning the loss of a shared play space for the kids who followed the rules. The real frustration seemed aimed at the parents who ignored repeated warnings and blurred lines that were never theirs to cross.

Do you think building the wall was the only reasonable option left, or could a compromise have saved the peace? How would you handle generosity when it starts turning into risk? Drop your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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