Man Has Baby With His Sister’s Bully, Now Wants Sister to Give Her a Job

It is a nightmare scenario: facing the person who tormented you throughout your formative years. It is an even worse nightmare when that tormentor becomes permanently tied to your family.

But the audacity reached a new level when the former bully, now broke and desperate, asked her victim to put in a good word for a job at her current workplace.

Now, after refusing the request, the victim is being called an [jerk] by her entire family for prioritizing her own mental health over her nephew’s stability.

Now, read the full story:

This is less about a job recommendation and more about protecting a vital personal boundary. Amy’s bullying wasn’t a minor high school spat; it was traumatic enough to push OP out of sports and extracurriculars, eventually leading to Amy’s expulsion.

The fact that Amy then showed zero remorse as an adult, even making fun of OP to her face while pretending not to remember, demonstrates she has no boundaries and hasn’t changed. Now, the family is using the nephew as an emotional shield to force OP into sacrificing her professional safety.

A job referral means staking your own reputation on another person’s character and work ethic. Given Amy’s history of toxicity, OP would be taking an enormous, reckless risk.

The family may want OP to “just get over it,” but bullying trauma rarely vanishes. For survivors of intense bullying, seeing the perpetrator can trigger a profound fight-or-flight response, leading to avoidance behaviors that are crucial for managing post-traumatic stress.  

OP’s desire to avoid Amy in her professional life is a healthy self-preservation measure. Furthermore, introducing a toxic person into a workplace is a serious risk. The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that 40% of employees have left a job due to a toxic work environment, highlighting the severe professional cost of welcoming a known disruptive element.  

OP knows that Amy is a flight risk, both emotionally and professionally. She has a documented history of toxic behavior that led to expulsion and, now, job loss. Recommending her would risk OP’s standing at work and guarantee the destruction of her peace of mind.

The family needs to realize that OP’s safety and sanity are not secondary to the needs of a negligent bully.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community stood firmly behind OP, validating her trauma and stressing that the family’s request was incredibly selfish and out of line.

A large group of commenters warned OP that this decision went beyond feelings—it directly impacted her professional reputation and safety.

Many users suggested OP should actively sabotage the bully’s application or at least inform HR to protect herself.

Finally, some advice focused on how OP should manage the difficult family dynamics moving forward.

OP’s family is prioritizing the financial stability of the bully over the mental and professional stability of their own daughter. OP is right to refuse. Her career and sanity are not disposable resources to fix her brother’s bad life choices.

Do you think OP should actively sabotage the application, or is simply refusing the referral enough? How can she convince her family that protecting her boundaries isn’t an attack on her nephew?