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Man Marries Abroad Without Telling Ex-Wife, Sparks Family Meltdown

by Sunny Nguyen
November 16, 2025
in Social Issues

Some family stories begin with a text message, but this one began with a photo, specifically, a very adorable five-year-old in a tiny dress shirt, posing at his father’s wedding in Switzerland.

A London dad shared the picture with his ex-wife, proud of how grown-up their son looked.

But instead of a polite “He looks cute,” his phone lit up with calls, accusations, and a tidal wave of angry relatives demanding to know why she wasn’t told about the wedding at all.

According to the father, he didn’t invite his ex because her new boyfriend tends to make uncomfortable comments, and he wanted to avoid turning his ceremony into a diplomatic crisis.

But the ex-wife insists she deserved a heads-up—especially since the child now officially has a stepfather.

Man Marries Abroad Without Telling Ex-Wife, Sparks Family Meltdown
not the actual photo

Want the juicy details? Read the original story below.

'AITA for not telling my ex-wife I got married again?'

I 28 m was married to my ex-wife for two years before we divorced because I realised I was gay.

I had been out as bi from age 16 as I knew I liked men but also liked women however I realised when I was 24 that I didn’t like...

So I told my wife I wanted a divorce but said I was happy to co-parent our 1 year old she agreed. We both lived in London until recently I...

I didn’t invite my ex as she had a new boyfriend who me and our little boy don’t like and I knew he would definitely say something h__ophobic at the...

I have complete custody of our son as he wanted to live with me and my ex agreed.

Now our son was at the wedding and looked so smart so I sent photos to my ex and she started messaging me, malling me telling me I am so...

She did she wanted our son back with her, I said no and now all her family are messaging me saying I am an a__hole and should’ve told her. Idk...

Note: the agreement about custody was in court and she knew at the time I had a fiancé so idk what she was expecting to happen in the future.

I am editing the post now to just give some information that some people might of needed, my son is 5 currently he was one when we divorced.

My son visits her all summer and some school breaks. Also in the uk they asked my son who he wanted to live with but that was only a little...

Also I sent the photos with a message that said ‘look how smart he looks at my wedding’ so I told her in the message

Reading this story feels a bit like being handed a cup of tea that suddenly becomes boiling halfway through.

On one hand, the dad seems genuinely happy, newly married, and ready to move forward.

On the other, the ex-wife’s reaction carries the sting of someone who feels unexpectedly sidelined.

It reminds me of how even the most “amicable” co-parenting relationships can hold emotional shadows from the past. Weddings, divorces, new partners – they all poke at old wounds.

And it does make me wonder: what should healthy communication realistically look like between exes?

The heart of this conflict sits less in wedding etiquette and more in co-parenting psychology.

The father didn’t intend to be hurtful, he already had full custody, his ex knew he was engaged, and he wanted to avoid drama from her boyfriend. But the ex-wife’s emotional reaction isn’t surprising.

Family therapist Dr. Karen Finn, writing for Psych Central, notes that major life transitions after divorce can “reactivate unresolved grief, insecurity, or a fear of losing influence.”

From her perspective, learning about the wedding secondhand, even via photos of her child at the event, could feel like being bumped out of a space where she once had significance.

Her reaction isn’t simply about the wedding; it’s about not being informed of a big shift in the environment her child lives in.

Co-parenting researchers also point to this phenomenon.

A study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that co-parents tend to experience conflict spikes whenever one parent enters a new committed relationship, because it “reshapes perceived roles, boundaries, and influence.”

The question then becomes: Did the father owe her an invitation? No.

Even commenters agreed, inviting an ex and her controversial partner to a destination wedding was a recipe for chaos. But did he owe her basic communication, such as a short “I’m getting married this weekend”?

Many family experts argue yes, simply because children benefit from stable, predictable transitions.

Relationship scientist Dr. John Gottman once emphasized that “children do best when parents support each other’s roles, even after separation.”

Applied here, that might mean acknowledging the ex-wife’s emotional role, even if they’re no longer partners.

The core message is simple: while the dad’s intentions weren’t malicious, the emotional whiplash for his ex reveals how divorce doesn’t fully sever the emotional threads, it simply rearranges them.

Co-parents don’t need to share everything, but keeping each other informed of major changes creates smoother terrain for the child caught between two worlds.

Netizens didn’t hold back, and the reactions fell into a few loud camps:

A lot of felt the ex-wife overreacted. Their take: she already knew he had a fiancé, and zero people expect invitations to their ex’s wedding.

booksycat − A simple "getting married" text would not have killed you.

If she's still involved in her son's life, knowing major life events are happening is a valid complaint.

No need to invite her tho. Do we have a "can everyone just do better" tag?

\sigh\ ETA: literally says \points up to post\ "no need to invite her" -- a lot of people seem mad I said invite her when I said the exact opposite.

dipardog − NTA since she already knew you had a fiancee. Congrats on the wedding, while you were under no obligation to invite her you could have mentioned that the...

However from her reaction she probably would have tried to crash it and cause an scene.

[Reddit User] − NTA after the note. She knew you were engaged. I’m not entirely sure how getting married is such a shock.

Cpt_Fantabulous − Info: how old is your son now? You say he is 1 but was also able to pick who he stayed with?

Due-Mention6196 − Fake, what court let’s a toddler pick custody?

And to add to this: if it is real (it’s not) why the f__k would anyone care about the opinion of a parent who willingly gives up their child.

getouttta_myswamp − God. Can't imagine being married to someone and only a year after I gave birth they tell me they're just not into women anymore, so f__k me.

Silent-Commercial448 − Feels like a lot of hidden info here. You are bi and married and right after having kid suddenly you are gay?

She is ok with co-parent but you need to go to court? because you want to take the kid to another country? It really feels like you set her up...

Some insisted that any major change in a child’s household, especially gaining a step-parent, requires clear communication. Their common criticism: the dad’s silence was avoidable.

Right_Count − YTA You didn’t have to invite her and I don’t agree with that part of her reaction, but you should absolutely have told the mother of your kid...

That’s a pretty big thing to not mention.

The rest took a more relaxed stance – believing it simply wasn’t her business beyond how the new spouse treats the child.

Dazzling-Mammoth-111 − Other than how your spouse treats her/your child, it’s none of her business.

Since you do have a child, a head’s up would have been nice, but NTA.

Federal_Share3954 − I think you’re full of malarkey. You attribute a lot of opinions to a 1 yr old such as deciding he wants to you and doesn’t like ex’s...

You’re also an a__hole for marrying your ex when you were so ambivalent about your sexuality, then having a baby with her. You should do better and cut her some...

You effed her over multiple times

Tooooooooost − YTA. Not telling your ex about a your wedding then sending her pictures of it seems like an obvious d__k move to me.

You didn’t need to invite her for obvious reasons but at least let her know because when co parenting your situation is important to her.

EveningAd6728 − Why would you have to tell her? That makes absolutely no sense.

[Reddit User] − You had a duty to tell your ex-wife about the changes in your life as they pertain to your shared offspring. YTA my dude.

It was a basic communication and you failed to do the necessary thing.

(Its fine that she wasn't invited to the wedding as a guest. Its just not OK to omit details and then hope she is pleased you didn't talk to her....

junglequeen88 − YTA. You're letting a 5 year old decide parental custody? That's weird.

MortalSmile8631 − ESH You are not married to each other anymore. But you do co-parent and have a child together.

You don't have to invite her, but would it have killed you to just send her a quick and short text?

This story hits that complicated intersection of new beginnings and old emotions.

The dad didn’t mean harm, but the timing and delivery clearly struck a nerve.

Many readers felt a simple text would have eased the blow, while others believed the ex-wife’s reaction said more about unresolved pains than etiquette. What do you think?

Should co-parents always notify each other about major life events, or was the dad right to keep his ceremony low-stress and private? Share your thoughts below!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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