When someone you love turns their back on you during your most vulnerable years, can they ever earn their way back into your life, especially if they’re dying? That’s the gut-wrenching question one Redditor faced when his estranged father, who disowned him for being gay, came crawling back years later, diagnosed with cancer, alone, and desperate to reconnect.
But the son wasn’t interested in tearful reunions or last chances. What followed was a brutally honest message that exploded with the kind of raw emotion most people only dream of unleashing on those who betrayed them. Now, the internet is split: did he go too far, or was it the long-overdue justice he deserved?
One man sent a scathing message to his dad, saying he’s glad he’s dying of cancer
When a parent who once rejected their child based on their identity reaches out, especially during illness, it can stir a whirlwind of complex emotions. Experts say reconciliation shouldn’t be driven by guilt or social pressure, but by what truly supports emotional healing.
Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of The Rules of Estrangement, emphasizes that adult children are not obligated to reconcile with parents just because they are ill. Reconnection should only happen if it’s emotionally safe and genuinely wanted.
Furthermore, the impact of parental rejection on LGBTQ+ youth is severe. The Trevor Project reports that LGBTQ+ young people who experience family rejection are significantly more likely to attempt suicide than those with affirming support.
On a hopeful note, parental acceptance can be profoundly protective: LGBTQ youth who experience identity affirmation from even one supportive adult show much lower rates of suicide attempts.
Therapists also recommend managing estrangement through therapeutic methods such as writing an unsent letter to the parent, providing closure without reopening painful wounds.
The OP’s reaction, expressing anger, hurt, and even vengeance toward the dad, is both deeply human and understandable, given years of emotional rejection. Reconciliation isn’t automatically the compassionate or “right” choice. What matters most is the OP’s emotional safety and accelerating healing, possibly through supportive therapy, without forcing a path that compromises that.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These Redditors cheer Alex’s response, calling his dad a coward who deserves no forgiveness for abandoning him
These commenters acknowledge his pain but note his guilt suggests humanity
These users support his stance, urging him to focus on his new life and dismiss his dad’s late apology as self-serving
This cancer curse saga’s a family drama rawer than a disowned son’s pain! Alex’s wish for his dad’s death after being kicked out for being gay was a cry from deep wounds, but his emptiness and friends’ split advice keep the tension alive.
Was he wrong to lash out, or did his dad’s betrayal earn it? How do you handle a parent’s late apology after such pain? Share your hot takes below. Would you curse or seek closure?
