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Man Wouldn’t Buy Pads for His Girlfriend, Now She’s Rethinking Everything

by Sunny Nguyen
January 12, 2026
in Social Issues

A simple grocery run turned into a moment that changed how one woman saw her relationship.

The couple had been together for three years. They had just moved in together. Life felt busy but stable, until a very human emergency showed up right before the end of a workday.

Her period started suddenly. She felt pain, stress, and urgency. Her boyfriend was already heading to the store. All she asked was for him to grab pads.

His answer stunned her.

Instead of concern or help, she got refusal, dismissal, and a suggestion that she handle it herself. The situation quickly escalated from inconvenience to humiliation. She drove home in pain, improvising with toilet paper just to get through the trip.

What hurt most was not the refusal itself. It was the tone, the lack of empathy, and the feeling that her discomfort simply did not matter.

Now she wonders if this moment revealed something deeper. She supported him through a serious injury in the past. She expected basic care in return.

Now, read the full story:

Man Wouldn’t Buy Pads for His Girlfriend, Now She’s Rethinking Everything
Not the actual photo

'My bf refuses to buy me female products (pads) and now I’m upset.?'

I’ll make it short and sweet. Me F(25) and my BF(28) been dating for over 3 years.

Yesterday we had a conversation through text about him going to the supermarket to get pasta because we were having people over and I was going to cook.

Mind you, he gets out of work before me and the supermarket is 3min away from home.

Everything was fine until I got my period right after I was about to leave my job and go home..

so I texted him to please grab some pads for me and his answer was “I’m not doing that”.

then I said “ I’m going home, they are on the personal hygiene aisle, I need them”.

His answer was “So go get them?”. And I replied: aren’t you going to the store?”. He said: “Yeah…”

so I Replied: I’m telling you to please get it for me” and his answer was “ I said I’m not doing that but you keep asking”

and I ended the conversation by saying ok thanks. Then he said that we shouldn’t have people over tonight… which made me more upset.

I ended up getting them myself, while having pain and a bunch of toilet paper wrapped around my panties to not make a mess…

I always say: it’s not what you say it’s HOW you say it. IF he feels uncomfortable he could’ve said

“I’m sorry but that makes me uncomfortable so I won’t be able to do so” and I could see it with a different perspective…

However, he is 28 and I think it’s a very immature thing to be embarrassed about…

And before you asked, this was my second time asking him (the first time he got it for me no problem,

but we were living at his mom house which she used to do everything for him so at this point I think she was the one who got it).

Please help with an advice

EDIT* Huge thank you to all for the feedback. I would like to add an anecdote:

2 years and a half he had a horrible accident while skiing, fractured his right leg and dislocated his left shoulder

so he couldn’t move at all or shower and even pee or poop. Guess who helped him with all that? ME.

I would expect him to do the same for me but not being able to do this little thing for me might honestly be a dealbreaker..

Call me dramatic idc.

EDIT TWO* We had a conversation last night (very long one)

and I said everything I needed to say including reading those text messages out loud to him and he was in any way defensive.

He called himself an AH and recognized that what he said was really fucked up. Here is a breakdown of his answers:

•His vapes and his vape ran out so he did “warned” me in the morning about “Nicotine Withdrawal”

so he said he was dealing with the that all day and made him be irritated..

•He said the supermarket he went was a small Italian supermarket and they didn’t have personal hygiene products..

•He said his mother NEVER talked to him about this stuff.

•He had a past relationship but it was a short one and he said that he was never asked to get this before..

•He said “I didn’t know it was an emergency, otherwise I would’ve get it for you with no hesitation.”

•He also admitted that is not that he is embarrassed , he just feels social anxiety. (Then I explain that there’s self checkout)

•He said that last time I asked him to get me pads he was at BJ’s and even though it was his first time (I sent him pictures of what...

he feel anxious but since I said it was an emergency he got it anyways.. BACKGROUND for those who ask:.

•He doesn’t have sisters.

•For the first two years (including a break of 8 months apart) he was living his mom’s house.

Fast forward I ended up moving there as well and it was great for like one month lol but then things changed and I ended up moving out with a...

He then a month later leaves his mom’s house and moves in with me and cousins lol. Everything goes well and but we are looking forward to move out just...

We finally moved out Dec 28th and we have been living together for only a MONTH. So for those telling me to breakup, yes I told him to breakup..

However here is my situation now:

•I do not have a close family here but I have friends that offered me to stay at their living room..

•I already gave him the money for the rent..

•He begged me to please stay and to work things out since we just moved in together and is what the both of us wanted it.

•I have a full time job but really not enough savings to rent by myself again because rent is expensive and they want 3 months in advance.

He helps me around the house with cleaning and cooking so I don’t do everything myself.

He said that he would not put me in a position where I will be struggling because of his actions.

He would rather sleep in the couch then me leaving.

He said he would work on himself and we can take a break if I want to because he respects my boundaries but he ask me to please not leave...

However he understands that if I leave, I’m not coming back.. Thoughts?????????????????? I’m o__rwhelmed :)

This story hits hard because it is not about pads. It is about care. It is about showing up when someone feels vulnerable. Emergencies rarely arrive politely, and partners usually reveal their true priorities in moments like this.

The refusal feels small on the surface. The impact feels heavy. Pain, embarrassment, and dismissal stacked up fast.

What makes this more painful is the imbalance. She supported him physically and emotionally when he needed help. When she needed something basic, he turned away.

That emotional disconnect raises bigger questions about reliability, empathy, and long-term support. Those questions deserve careful attention.

This emotional imbalance shows up often in relationship research, and experts have a lot to say about it.

Situations like this often act as stress tests for relationships.

Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship researcher, explains that small moments of support matter deeply. He calls them “bids for connection.” When one partner reaches out and the other dismisses that bid, resentment grows over time.

In this case, the request was simple and time-sensitive. The refusal communicated distance rather than care. That message can linger far longer than the incident itself.

Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that perceived partner responsiveness strongly predicts relationship satisfaction. Feeling ignored during moments of discomfort damages trust.

Social discomfort around menstruation also plays a role. A 2021 survey by Plan International found that many men still view periods as embarrassing or inappropriate topics, even in long-term relationships.

That discomfort, however, does not excuse avoidance. Mental health professionals often stress that adulthood involves managing discomfort to support loved ones.

Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab notes that emotional maturity includes handling basic care tasks without framing them as personal sacrifices. Support is not conditional on convenience.

The boyfriend later explained anxiety, lack of education, and withdrawal symptoms. While context matters, accountability matters more. Anxiety explains behavior, it does not erase impact.

Experts suggest a few grounded steps:

  • Have a calm follow-up conversation focused on feelings, not blame.
  • Clarify expectations for support during health-related needs.
  • Observe actions over time, not promises made during conflict.
  • Create a plan for emergencies to avoid repeat situations.

This story highlights a larger truth. Long-term relationships rely on reliability during uncomfortable moments. Small acts of care build safety. Repeated avoidance erodes it.

Check out how the community responded:

Many readers felt this moment revealed a serious maturity gap.

WestSea76 - You helped him after an accident. He refused pads. That says everything.

lychigo - If he can’t buy pads, he’s not ready for a relationship.

busyshrew - If you can’t buy hygiene products, you’re not grown.

Others focused on future implications and long-term support.

UnPracticed_Pagan - Emergencies happen. He chose not to help.

xaiires - Think about illness or kids later. This is your preview.

Low_key_Changa - Support gets harder over time. He already failed.

Some shared personal comparisons that made the contrast clear.

Bambi_MD - My partner panicked but still bought them. That’s normal care.

Icy-Performer571 - Supportive men exist. This isn’t one of them.

[Reddit User] - Why stay with someone who won’t show up?

This situation feels overwhelming because it touches on more than one bad moment.

It highlights expectations, emotional safety, and whether care flows both ways. Emergencies do not ask permission. They reveal who steps forward and who steps back.

The boyfriend apologized and explained himself. That matters. What matters more is whether his actions change when it counts.

Support is not about grand gestures. It is about showing up for small, uncomfortable needs without making someone feel like a burden.

Every relationship faces moments like this. They quietly shape the future.

So the question remains. Can empathy grow here, or will this pattern repeat when things get harder? If this moment showed you something new, what are you going to do with that information?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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