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Mom Arrested, Dad Deployed Abroad, 17-Year-Old Daughter Abandons Home, Robbers Steal Everything, Stepsister Explodes In Fury

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A college student’s cross-country winter break dream crashed into an empty house nightmare, stripped bare by burglars after their 17-year-old stepsister Stacey ditched responsibility. With mom jailed for financial woes, stepdad deployed overseas, and the home up for sale, the Redditor left simple rules: pay bills, keep it standing.

Stacey bolted to her boyfriend’s, leaving the place unattended for three weeks, inviting thieves to raid valuables and the OP’s college savings. Reddit’s hooked on this family fallout, debating teenage rebellion versus a cry for help amid crumbling chaos.

17-year-old leaves the house unattended, undoubtedly it gets robbed, stepsister blames her irresponsibility.

Mom Arrested, Dad Deployed Abroad, 17-Year-Old Daughter Abandons Home, Robbers Steal Everything, Stepsister Explodes In Fury
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for getting mad at my stepsister for letting our house get robbed?'

My family's lives got thrown into chaos three months ago when my mom got arrested for some financial-related crimes.

She's probably going away for the next 3-8 years, we're losing our house, and her and my stepfather are getting divorced.

There's no good timing for any of this, but it's especially bad now because I'm in college on the other side of the country,

my stepfather isn't even in the country right now (deployed), and my only sibling, my stepsister Stacey, only just turned 17.

By the time my mom realized she couldn't even make bond, I only had three weeks until winter break,

so we agreed that it would be okay for me to keep my original flight back while things were still being sorted out.

We decided that I'm going to take a semester off school to help out until everything is settled.

Obviously it wasn't ideal to have Stacey hold down the fort for that long, but it's not illegal.

The bills were paid and everything, so all she had to do was breathe and not burn the house down. She did not do that.

She decided that all this meant that she could do whatever she wanted, and moved in with her boyfriend without telling anyone.

The house went unattended, and of course, we got robbed. They cleaned the place out.

Anything of value that was left after the raid is gone, including basically all of my stuff.

That's what I came home to. I immediately called Stacey, but she blocked my number.

I only know where she went through social media and she wouldn't respond to messages there,

so I had to start posting about all of this on Facebook to get her to respond, and now I'm getting s__t for blaming her and "putting too much on...

I'm expecting too much? On top of having to drop out of school temporarily and everything else I'm responsible for,

including probably ending up her guardian, I now have to replace anything I didn't take to college with me and immediately scramble for housing.

My only expectation of her was to not just f__king vanish for THREE WEEKS! That was her only responsibility, and she just bailed.

Her being a minor makes her actions worse in my opinion because it's not even legal for her to decide that she just wants to live on her own now.

She was legally required to stay there because our parents told her to. I don't think I'm required to pretend she was just an angel to talk about it.

Edit: We have footage from a nearby security camera that proves that she wasn't involved in the robbery.

In this wild Reddit saga, the college-bound OP returns to a gutted house after trusting 17-year-old Stacey to simply… exist there for three weeks.

Mom’s locked up, stepdad’s MIA on deployment, and Stacey’s response? Shack up with the boyfriend, leaving the door figuratively (and maybe literally) wide open for burglars to cart off the silverware and everything else.

From the OP’s side, it’s a betrayal bonanza. She’s sacrificing school, scrambling for new digs, and replacing pilfered possessions, all while eyeing guardianship.

Stacey’s actions scream irresponsibility: blocking calls, ignoring messages, forcing public Facebook call-outs. But flip the script, Stacey’s world just shattered. Mom arrested, divorce looming, home foreclosure on the horizon.

At 17, alone in a big house? That’s recipe for panic, not perfection. She bolted for comfort and company, not malice. Security footage even clears her of inside-job vibes. Opposing views paint the OP as overly harsh, dumping adult burdens on a kid whose parents vanished first.

Motivations get murky in the mess. The OP’s anger stems from overload – she’s the reluctant hero, pausing life to plug family holes. Stacey’s move? Survival instinct, dodging isolation in a sketchy neighborhood where empty homes scream “free stuff!”

But broaden this: family dynamics during crises often fracture under pressure. A 2023 report from the American Psychological Association highlights how parental incarceration affects over 2.7 million U.S. kids, spiking anxiety and behavioral shifts.

Here, Stacey’s “abandonment” mirrors kids seeking stability elsewhere when guardians ghost.

Expert Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, California’s former Surgeon General, nails it in her book: “This kind of prolonged activation of the stress-response systems can disrupt the development of brain architecture and other organ systems, and increase the risk for stress-related disease and cognitive impairment, well into the adult years.”

Relevance? Stacey’s flight wasn’t defiance but a trauma-fueled grab for safety. Boyfriend’s house beats solo in a crime-prone spot. The OP’s expectations, while logical on paper, ignored her emotional freefall.

Neutral solutions? Communication reboot: OP and Stacey team up for a heart-to-heart, maybe with a neutral aunt or counselor. Stepdad could arrange remote check-ins or a temp guardian. OP reconsiders that semester pause – graduate fast, build stability for all.

Broaden advice: In deployment divorces, military family resources like Military OneSource offer free counseling. Ultimately, blame the burglars and absent adults, unite the siblings.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

A user blames the sister for abandoning the house and suggests checking for theft.

Carmenti − NTA whatsoever. Stacey is 17 years old. She is basically an adult. You put your trust in her and she betrayed it. She's the one to blame.

It is the highest degree of irresponsibility to be effectively housesitting for someone and then abandon the house.

And then, on top of all that, she then blocks your number because she KNOWS she did the wrong thing.

Also, as someone else said, are you sure that she didn't rob your house? That would explain why she blocked you.

Another argues the robbery isn’t the sister’s fault and blames bad luck or the area.

Trevena_Ice − INFO: So your house is in a high crime area? Or else it wouldn't be robbed just for being unattended for 3 weeks.

And you expect your minor sister to stay there alone by herself? Would have moved out to a friend or partner also,

just not to be lonley and responsible for a whole house. It wasn't like your sister threw a big a__ party and her guests cleaned the house.

Or as if she forgot to lock the door and therefore some guys took the opportunity.

You were robbed, so someone saw that no one was at home and broke in. This could have happened even if she was there -

like she had to go to school, everyone who observed the house could have chosen any time during her school hours to break in.

Or if she left one day to see a movie. It is really bad luck, yes and it sucks. But be glad that your sister wasn't home at the time...

Don't blame that on her but on the burglars.

A comment says no one is at fault and parents should handle responsibilities.

Squiggles567 − NAH. Neither if you should be having to deal with this and you aren’t responsible for Stacey.

Your stepdad may be deployed but he is the one that needs to step up.

Bad idea to defer a semester of college - you should be graduating ASAP and getting into work so you can help yourself and your family more.

Stacey is almost an adult. If she wants to live with a BF, maybe come to an arrangement about that that benefits everyone?

Can his mom be a responsible person in her life while you go back to college? Can stepdad be around a bit more? The robbing is not her fault.

Crap happens. And no you shouldn’t be putting expectations on Stacey. Let the parents parent.

Some blame the parents for leaving a minor alone in an unsafe situation.

Beautiful-Report58 − YTA for expecting a child to stay in a house by herself while her world was on fire.

Be upset with the correct person, your mother. This is your mother’s fault.

AngusLynch09 − YTA If the area is that bad that the house gets robbed the moment no one's home,

then you shouldn't have a 17 year old girl defending it. You say she's too young to live alone,

and yet she was left to live alone, so went to her boyfriends instead.

She probably blocked you because she was dumped with everyone's s__t to deal with.

lostrandomdude − NAH It's really your stepfather to blame. A 17 year old shouldn't really be left alone for multiple weeks at a time.

Like you said, she is a minor, and therefore requires a guardian. I don't know much about the military,

but surely these are mitigating circumstances whereby your stepfather could return home and even if he can't,

it's his responsibility to arrange for someone to look after his daughter.

Consider what could have happened if she was home alone when someone broke in. You could have come home to much worse.

Some call the OP the a__hole for misplacing blame on the traumatized sister.

Excellent-Count4009 − YTA "hat was her only responsibility" ... It was NOT.

Your sister did NOTHING wrong. She was not there - JUST LIKE YOU.

"She was legally required to stay there because our parents told her to."

Your parents failed her, she is right to ignore them: They are absent, and AHs. THEY abandoned HER. Just as YOU did.

Blame your criminal mom, your absent stepdad, or yourself.

"On top of having to drop out of school temporarily and everything else I'm responsible for, including probably ending up her guardian"

You don't actually HAVE to. YOU can just leave, like your sister did. SHE does not need you. YOU are just doing this for yourself, NOT for her.

"I don't think I'm required to pretend she was just an angel to talk about it."

You are just the angry stepsister. SHE escaped the s__tty family, and she will ignore you. With her being 17, you will not get guardianship.

SHE is fine, YOU ignored the situation for 3 weeks and now are faced with the consequences of YOUR actions. Not HER fault.

"So I had to start posting about all of this on Facebook to get her to respond, and now I'm getting s__t for blaming her and putting too much on...

They got you there. So what you can do: POUND SAND, and accept that she is out of your s__tty family for good.

Awkward_Un1corn − YTA. The house isn't the responsibility of a minor.

If a house cannot be left alone for three weeks (less than that most likely) then a 17-year-old shouldn't be alone in it.

The bad person is your mom. She created this situation. She was legally required to stay there because our parents told her to.

That is not how that works even remotely. Technically there should have been an adult in the home with her.

She doesn't currently have a guardian because your mom is a criminal and her dad is deployed.

Many empathize with the sister’s trauma and urge teamwork over blame.

heyitsta12 − Idk whether or not to call you an AH. It’s obvious you have an awful lot going on right now.

But I do think your anger is severely misplaced. I get that you also have to make a lot of sacrifices right now

but you were not there when your mom got arrested. She was .And you have no idea what type of toll that could have taken on her.

She probably went to go live with her boyfriend because she wouldn’t be alone and have to fend for herself.

Just because the bills weren’t paid doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have had to worry about food, and obviously security.

You live in an area where no one was there for 3 weeks and they robbed the place blind. That does not sound safe at all!

If anything, I feel like you should be grateful your sister wasn’t there when it took place or didn’t have to come to it.

My home has been robbed, while I was there. Thankfully not violently, and thankfully I wasn’t harmed and didn’t hear anything.

But the thought is scary! Neither you or your sister should have had to deal with this.

But don’t be mad at her, when you also chose to stay at school for an additional 3 weeks leaving her by herself.

DamnitGravity − You've been away at college while all this has been happening, so you've been distanced from the trauma of all it.

Your sister hasn't. She's 17, seen her mother get arrested, heard her parents talk about getting divorced, is losing her home, has no future

(how's she going to pay for school? She's clearly not going to be able to college)

and now you put the added stress of forcing her to live alone in a house for three weeks.

And in an area that is clearly unsafe, if the entire house was cleaned out.

You just expected her to be able to deal with everything, with no help, no support, and no one to reassure her that everything's going to be ok.

I don't blame her for running away to her boyfriend. I would have been scared at her age too. You should have called someone to stay with her.

Either a family friend, or allowed her boyfriend or one of her friends to stay with her. You are blaming her for your mother and stepfather's failures.

Your mother's failure to not break the law, and your stepfather's failure for abandoning you all.

I understand you're stressed, and I know it's not fair, but this is ultimately not your sister's fault, it's your mother's.

You need to sit down with your sister and have a discussion about how you two are going to go forward.

What's going to happen, how you're going to manage together. Because you now need to become a team.

All you have left is each other, you will need to learn to rely on each other and support one another through this time.

This will either make or break your relationship. You will either become closer and bond, or you will turn on each other and tear each other down.

This is a crossroads for you both, you need to figure out which path you're going to take and what will be at the end of it.

This burglary blunder boils down to a family in freefall: mom’s mistakes, stepdad’s distance, and two stepsisters caught in the crossfire.

The Redditor’s fury is fair. Losing everything stings like salt in a paper cut. But Stacey’s escape? A teen’s desperate dodge from dread.

Do you think the Redditor’s expectations were a bridge too far for a shaken 17-year-old, or did Stacey drop the ball on basic duty?

How would you rally the remnants of this rattled crew? Share your hot takes with us!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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