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Mom Considers Giving Her Kids Their Old iPads Back For Christmas, Is She Teaching Her Kids The Right Lesson?

by Leona Pham
November 27, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes, parents have to make tough decisions to get their kids to shape up. One mom had enough of her kids’ constant bickering and took away their iPads, promising they would be sold for good.

But as time passed, she couldn’t bring herself to follow through. Now, with Christmas approaching and money tight, she’s considering regifting the iPads to her kids as “new” devices. The plan is to clear the old ones, buy new cases, and act as though they’re fresh gifts.

The question is, is this clever thinking or dishonest parenting? Should she stick to her decision and find other gifts for her kids, or is regifting their old devices harmless, especially when they’ve been well-behaved and it fits within her budget? Read on to see how this festive dilemma plays out.

A parent regifts their kids’ old iPads for Christmas, having taken them away earlier for misbehavior, but is unsure if it’s wrong to do so

Mom Considers Giving Her Kids Their Old iPads Back For Christmas, Is She Teaching Her Kids The Right Lesson?
not the actual photo

'AITA for regifting my kids their own tablets for Christmas?'

My kids, 6&7, each had an iPad mini.

Over the summer, they were having a rough time, constantly fighting with each other and just being brats in general.

I lost it one day and took their iPads away, saying they were being sold, never to be seen again.

Tears were shed. The iPads were cleaned up, put back into their original boxes, accessories packed away, ready for sale...but I couldn’t do it.

They went into a box in the closet. Summer passed, fall passed. The kids have been great and I feel they’ve earned them back.

Christmas is coming. Money is super tight this year.

AITA for wanting to clear the iPads with a factory reset, buy a couple new cases as a distraction and regift them their old iPads as new ones?

From time to time, we all crave a fresh start after hard times, a simple wish to turn things around and give our loved ones a little happiness. That’s the emotional seed behind OP’s idea: after a rough summer with their kids, they saw their improved behavior and thought, maybe they deserve a second chance.

The old iPads, once taken away in anger, became a symbol not just of discipline, but of loss. Now, with Christmas coming and money tight, the thought of wrapping those same tablets, after a reset, a new case, and calling them “Christmas gifts” feels like a way to restore normalcy, a way to patch things up.

What drives this is honesty about limits: the parent doesn’t have funds for brand‑new devices, but wants to give the kids something. The gesture is born from love, from trying to salvage hope and joy under practical constraints.

The promise: “You earned these back.” The risk: in trying to soften the financial burden while still offering a treat, there’s a chance of emotional cost, trust and clarity might get lost along the way.

Psychological research warns that repeated “white lies” from caregivers, even the well‑intended ones, can affect how children view honesty, trust, and relationships.

A 2013 study on “parenting by lying” found that children whose parents often told small lies grew up with weaker attachment to their parents and, in some cases, more internalized stress and distrust.

That doesn’t automatically mean regifting is a parenting crime. But it illustrates a subtle truth: when the message becomes “We’ll make it look like new” instead of “Here’s something special because you worked hard,” children may internalize the idea that presenting an appearance matters more than being honest.

Over time, small deceptions can chip away at the foundation of trust that relationships are built on, even if the parent’s intention was kindness or love.
Michigan Publishing

In OP’s heart, the wish is noble. They want to reward improvement, offer joy, and make memories, not deception. So perhaps there’s a different path: give back the tablets with truth. Say something simple like: “I’m giving these back to you because you’ve done better, and I’m proud of you,” rather than packaging them as “new.” That honesty preserves respect, acknowledges reality, and still celebrates the kids.

Gifts are rarely just about the item; they’re about feeling seen, valued, loved. Sometimes what matters most isn’t what we give, but how we give it.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

This group emphasized that the kids would be thrilled to get the iPads back, and returning them as a reward for good behavior could be a good lesson

greendeformedcubepig − Although I'm only 15, I would say that that is fair, they lost their ipad for a reason.

So giving it back cleaned and with some accessories for Christmas wouldn't be a dumb thing, I think it would also teach them a lesson or something.

(Again I'm just 15, you should probably listen to someone else who is an actual adult) NAH

Edit: I wanna thank everyone for such great replies!

And especially thanks to those telling me that my opinion still matters even though I'm 15, this has definitely been an much needed ego-boost.

Cough cough obligatory thanks for the gold kind stranger cough cough

Edit 2: damn this blew up over the night, so uhm, again thanks for all the great replies and also thanks to cough cough the one plat,

2 new golds, and 8 silvers (and the poop knife for that matter) cough cough

hmm_yes_ − NAH- the children are 6 and 7. They will be ecstatic to have their tablets back!

You could leave a note from Santa (if you celebrate that way) explaining why their good behavior has earned their toys back.

I feel like an explanation in some way is necessary here, especially because they earned it.

[Reddit User] − NAH (edited from N T A) per se, but couldn't you just give them back for Christmas,

specify that they're getting them back because you're proud of them for being good,

and then spend the money you were going to spend on new cases on a small extra gift?

pottersquash − NAH. HOWEVER! Consider that if your kids behavior changed once they were removed, why reintroduce them?

Perhaps sell them and find a new more cost effective and more enriching gift.

Apple still sells the mini at like 400 bucks, a used one will easily fetch 200 and if its in as good condition you may have $600 bucks to play...

Getting each kid a $100 dollar gift would leave $400 for family budget.

Mangotime100 − INFO - Why don’t you just give them the iPad minis,

buy them each their chosen cover, and tell them that they have earned them back with their excellent behaviour and you hope to see it continue?

These commenters criticized the OP for the deception involved in telling the kids the iPads were sold and then giving them back as presents

[Reddit User] − I'm feeling YTA for a few reasons. First for jumping immediately to "I'm selling them and they're gone forever."

Without possibly giving them the chance to earn them back, especially since they're so young compared to an older child/teen-ager.

This leads into part two that by giving them back as a gift, I feel would be undermining the previous punishment you set forth.

Third I don't think lying or re-gifting something sets a good precedent.

You should be upfront about returning the iPads for good behavior, not treat them as a gift.

You shouldn't have to 'earn' a gift, at that point it's not really a gift anymore. I'd let them have them back before Christmas.

Explain it's for their good behavior but they'll be taken back again if they misbehave.

Then for Christmas give them new cases or accessories, maybe buy them a game or movie on the app store if money is tight.

Then the presents can be linked to the iPads without needing to lie to them about it.

Or since their behavior has changed a lot without the iPads around, perhaps sell them

and use the money to buy them something else they've really been wanting.

Sadistic_Justice − YTA for giving 6 and 7 year olds their own ipad minis ''Money is super tight this year'' I WONDER WHY

Complete_Entry − YTA - you're playing a gross game here. Have a strong feeling you'd take these "new" tablets away when you get annoyed again.

rusty0123 − YTA. But just a little bit. You told your kids the ipads were sold.

By giving them back as Christmas presents, you are completely avoiding the responsibility of (1) lying to your kids,

and (2) not following through with consequences.

So, while your kids might be happy to get them back, in later years they will understand how you deceived them.

If you do this, then the only choice you have is to be straightforward and honest with your kids.

Return the ipads (even on Christmas, if you like--even wrapped as Christmas presents, if you like) but tell them what you did.

"I felt so bad about taking your ipads that I put them away instead of selling them.

You've been so well behaved that you deserve to have them back. " Buy the new cases as gifts from Santa.

centuryblessings − I'm so confused by these comments. YTA, OP.

You "lost it" on your young children and took away their beloved electronics to punish them, and told them you were selling them.

You end up keeping them, meaning you lied. You think your kids aren't going to recognize their own tablets?

Additionally, What's the logic in making them think that you sold their first ones and then bought the same tablets for Christmas?

That's a waste of money. This is a dumb idea OP.

This group pointed out the potential negative effects of returning the iPads as gifts without proper explanation

carolinemathildes − YTA for letting kids that young have an iPad.

TroiSoong − YTA. Returning something of there's that was confiscated isn't a gift. It's just going back on the original punishment.

You could return the iPads as a sort of Christmas treat, but be sure to get them a real gift as well.

These users questioned the decision to give such expensive tablets to young children

rcmjnbnoe − YTA. I’m sorry to hear that money’s tight, but that’s not a gift. They’re old enough to see right through this.

If this happened to me when I was a kid, I’d have been crushed.

Christmas isn’t the time to teach your kids a lesson, especially not at 6 and 7 years old, when they likely still believe in Santa.

There’s only so many years they have left of that.

Ipiu3 − Am I the only one really surprised a 6 and 7 years old have a 500$ tablet each?

Am I old? Did I miss something about kids and technology and screens?

theswordofdoubt − YTA because all I see in your intentions is lies and poor parenting.

First of all, you admit your children had a rough summer,

and instead of taking the time to sit down with them and teach them how to manage their emotions and conflicts,

you just take away their things, presumably without even giving them a chance to retrieve whatever photos or videos they might have kept on them.

(Whether or not they even should've been given those tablets in the first place is something else entirely, but I won't judge that.)

You told them you would sell the iPads, and then you didn't, which was the first lie.

Now you're just going to regift them those same iPads, and lie even more that they're new.

Your kids may be young, but they're not stupid or oblivious. Eventually, they'll figure out that you lied to them.

And maybe a lot of parents think it's no big deal, but lying to your kids messes them up.

It'll damage your relationship when they can't trust what you say, even on the smallest of things.

So quit lying to your kids and be an actual parent.

OP’s situation revolves around how to balance fairness, consistency in discipline, and transparency in her relationship with her children. While some feel regifting the iPads sends the wrong message, others believe that rewarding positive behavior is key to reinforcing the lesson learned.

Should OP stick to her original punishment or turn it into a Christmas gift? What do you think? Should regifting be part of her holiday tradition, or does it undermine the discipline she initially set? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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