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Mom Destroys Her Kid’s Room To Teach A Lesson About Folding Clothes, Family Says She Needs Mental Help

by Layla Bui
December 4, 2025
in Social Issues

Every parent has their own method of raising their children, but sometimes, a well-intentioned lesson can backfire. This Redditor, who’s always been a stickler for cleanliness, took it a step further by making a mess of her daughter’s clothes to teach her how to properly fold them.

What started as a way to reinforce good habits quickly escalated into an emotional situation, with her daughter upset and planning to leave the house.

The Redditor’s family is now divided, with her husband, sister, and mother all against her actions. The Redditor feels her approach was justified, believing it would help her daughter stay organized. Was this an overstep, or did she have every right to teach her children her standards of tidiness? Read on to see how this difficult family dynamic unfolded.

A mother makes a mess of her daughter’s room to force her to fold clothes properly, causing a family conflict

Mom Destroys Her Kid’s Room To Teach A Lesson About Folding Clothes, Family Says She Needs Mental Help
not the actual photo

'AITA for throwing my kid’s clothes onto the floor when they don’t fold their clothes neatly?'

So I’ve always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive.

I always expect their rooms to be clean, and I check their drawers/closets/storage bins

to make sure they don’t just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean.

The kids (16, 13, 9, and 6) are all responsible for putting away their laundry, and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes.

Which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me, he rolls them up instead of properly folding them.

Ever since the kids have been home and have more free time, I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes.

I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers.

I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago, that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized

she would make a mess for them to organize the right way.

I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us.

I havent had to do this until yesterday, I walked into my 16 year old’s room while she was Facetiming her boyfriend,

and saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded and out of curiosity, opened her drawers,

and saw she has shoved her clothes in there. I started making a mess and she screamed “Mom why?” and I told her she knew why.

After that I walked out of her room, she explained to her boyfriend what I did and he says “Your mom’s f__king crazy bruh”

and I peek my head into her room, give her a look, and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying.

I told my husband what happened, he told me “I knew said you were gonna do that but I didn’t know you would actually follow through.”

This morning I woke up to a note on my daughter’s door saying “Until mom can get mental help, I’m staying with Aunt (my sister’s name)”.

I texted her, no response. I tried contacting my sister, who said she has no plans to return until I “get mental help and stop being such a controlling b__ch”

My husband, sister, and mom are all against me in this which hurts.

I don’t think it harmed my daughter, it benefits her and helps her stay organized.

2 months later, OP posted an update:

UPDATE: Almost 2 months ago I made a post on here about me throwing my daughter’s clothes onto the drawer when they weren’t folded neatly.

Well that post really blew up, people on Twitter also chimed in.

Well the night I made the post, I was still in serious denial. I replied to some comments and my denial was perfectly clear for everyone to see.

The day after I read some more comments and messages I received from everyone.

I resorted to the guest room and cried for hours.

I read some people tell me that their moms were similar to me and they no longer have relationships with them.

That was truly my worst fear, I seriously love my kids more than anything on this planet even if my actions don’t always show it.

I booked a virtual appointment with a phycologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and let me know she would help me.

I have since had about 8 sessions with her and she has been a big help.

Of course I still have a long way to go but I have been noticing some improvements already.

As for my daughter, she stayed at my sister’s house and came home a few days later

after I told her that there would be major improvements made in my behavior.

I sat all the kids down and told them that I have the resources to not be such an overbearing a__hole to them anymore.

One thing I do want to address is the fact that I was usually controlling with my kids,

but the incident I wrote about was the one that sent both me and my daughter over the edge.

Me and her are on much better terms. I want to thank Reddit for waking me the hell up to become a better mom and wife.

I also want to apologize to anyone who I brought back bad memories to.

I want to have relationships with my children until we all grow old and I know so many of you guys don't have that,

which breaks my heart but also hearing your stories gave me a big change of heart

and are helping me fix my relationships and become a better person.

When a parent enforces strict order, especially by turning a child’s room upside down to make a point, it can feel more like punishment than a lesson.

Research shows that harsh parenting, defined broadly to include yelling, shaming, or actions that undermine a child’s autonomy, often leads to negative emotional and behavioral outcomes. For example, children raised in environments with high levels of punitive discipline tend to have poorer emotional regulation, self-esteem issues, and behavioral problems.

One long-term effect of harsh parenting is poorer emotional regulation. A recent study found that children whose parents used harsh or punitive discipline struggled more with self-control and were more likely to exhibit behavioral problems compared to children raised in more supportive environments.

In contrast, experts who study child development, such as Laura Markham, argue for a different approach: guiding rather than punishing. According to Markham, discipline should mean teaching and supporting behavior, not forcing compliance through fear or humiliation.

Applying this to this situation: yes, wanting her home to be tidy is reasonable. Teaching children to organize their clothes responsibly isn’t bad. But when the method becomes destructive, rifling through drawers, dumping clothes on the floor, it shifts from boundary setting into a power struggle. That can make the child feel shamed, powerless, and disrespected.

When a child responds by running away, staying with an aunt, or refusing to return, that’s a strong sign that something has gone wrong emotionally. That reaction suggests the response wasn’t just “firm parenting,” but triggered distress, embarrassment, or a sense of betrayal.

What’s more troubling is this: children raised under harsh or controlling discipline often learn compliance, not understanding. They may obey rules out of fear, but they fail to develop self-discipline, self-esteem, or the capacity to make good choices independently.

Research also shows that parenting styles matter: families where parents combine warmth, guidance, and clear boundaries (called “authoritative parenting”) tend to raise children with healthier emotional regulation, self-esteem, and better social outcomes.

Given that, the parent’s behavior seems to lean toward a more authoritarian, punitive style, the kind research flags as risky for emotional and relational health.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

This group slammed the parent for being controlling, pointing out that the behavior was abusive and that trying to impose perfectionism on children is harmful

[Reddit User] − YTA You know who acts like this? Marine Corps Drill Instructors. Why? To mentally f*** with recruits.

This is not okay within the family unit. Its insane that you think it’s okay to control how your kids fold their clothes in their drawers.

bshoe1992 − YTA. my mom used to do this and now we have minimum contact.

Seek mental help before you alienate your kids entirely because there's a difference

between expecting a clean space and being an unreasonable control freak.

Ijustwantedguacamole − YTA for sure. It’s their space, and tbh I don’t see how their drawers being organized bothers you at all.

So what if they just shove clothes in there? It’s their loss for being unorganized, but just let it go.

I can sort of understand wanting a clean room but really? Going into their space and making a mess?

Especially while she is on the phone with her BOYFRIEND. How embarrassing...

Jaycro123 − Ya I'd say YTA To start she's almost an adult. Sure she should fold her clothes,

but if she wants to walk around with wrinkly clothes that's her choice to make. Second, do you really not see how embarrassing that is?

I'm sure if your mom pulled that same s__t in front of your friends or boyfriend at that age you'd be pissed

Honestly, if my mom was this crazy i probably wouldn't talk to her anymore.

All you can really do is apologize and try going to therapy to work on whatever makes you think it's ok to embarrass your kids like that

ahaha2222 − Uh. .. YTA. What kind of controlling parent are you?

Checking their drawers to make sure they didn't just shove it in there to make it look neat. Why do you care?

Also your solution: "Hmm my kid didn't fold their laundry and I HATE messes so let me dump everything out and make a mess."

How is that supposed to achieve your goal?

Jendi2016 − Which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me,

he rolls them up instead of properly folding them. There is no problem with rolling your clothes.

It leaves fewer creases and saves space. The fact it bothers you is a warning sign. opened her drawers, and saw she has shoved her clothes in there.

They had been put away, just not in the way you desire. Your daughter will learn out of necessity one day, probably when she is out on her own.

But really, the only downside to shoving them in is wrinkling when you want to wear them,

which is remedied with an iron... or just not going outside at all due to covid.

Why does she need unwrinkled clothing right now anyway? I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago,

that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized she would make a mess for them to organize the right way.

I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us.

I would be very interested on hearing how that mommy bloggers relationship with her children is.

Most likely, it's in the toilet because of boundary crossings like this. A bad roll model to learn from.

Your obsessive need to have everything neat even if you don't see it is a red flag.

You should see a therapist to see why you need such control over your children's lives or to possibly diagnose something such as OCD. YTA

made_you_think − YTA and you're not helping her, you're randomly terrorizing her.

She's 16, and she can decide for herself the amount of organization going on within her drawers.

Jeesh, children aren't little machines, get over having to have them do everything in the OCD manner you're demanding.

ademptia − Holy s__t, YTA. And you have a damn problem, a problem that isn't your kids' laundry.

I'm glad your daughter went to a safer space right now.

The girl is generally clean and organized, but when she puts her own laundry into her own drawers in a way different

from what you approve, you lose your s__t and trash her room. That is ABUSIVE behavior.

Lemme repeat that for you. A. B. U. S. I. V. E. Plus, she didnt leave after a single incident of you "just wanting what's best for her".

She is 16 and has probably dealt with this s__t her entire conscious life, in one form or another.

You brush it off as being a neat freak but that speaks volumes on what these kids' lives are like with you.

You must be so exhausting. I feel so bad for your children and the fact

they can't even relax or have privacy in their own home, in their own room. Your youngest child is SIX.

Its absolutely insane that you hold your CHILDREN to these standards of """organization""".

Rolling clothes is actually more organized than folding because it wont crease your stuff. But for you its not about that, is it?

It's about control. You are going to give your children some lifelong issues if you dont resolve your own s__t asap.

You have to respect them and not push your own view on how a shirt should be folded onto them, and lemme repeat

MESSING UP THEIR PERSONAL BELONGINGS JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE CONTROL ISSUES AND THINK THEY SHOULD BE ORGANIZED

DIFFERENTLY IS ABUSIVE. Get therapy if you care about keeping those kids in your life when they grow up.

Or if you have any decency in you and dont wanna f__k up your children more than you already did.

Edit: and stay the f__k out of your kids' rooms and drawers, at least the 16 and 13 yr old ones. The violation of privacy is terrible.

You are teaching them to be better liars and actors until they can get away far from you and live their life normally

without a controlling mother monitoring every tiniest piece of their lives.

vtheatretech − YTA This is a technique in basic training for the military not teaching your kids to be functioning adults.

Also "you know why" is not a valid response to a question. You invaded her space and showed no regard for her boundaries.

If you're going to treat her stuff like this why should she trust you with things that actually matter to her?

silly_sarahSG1 − YTA. You are too controlling and it is negatively affecting your life.

Checking their closets and drawers to make sure their clothes are folder and put away to your standards?

Throwing a temper tantrum and making a mess when you don’t get your way?

That’s acting like a child not a parent, and FYI rolling your clothes is an alternative to folding that can take up less space and leaves less wrinkles.

What’s more important to you, having clothes folded the way you like or having your kids in your life?

You’re taking the my way or the highway stance and it’s pretty obvious which option the people in your life are choosing.

Edit: if your husband, sister, mom and children all think you need help you should listen to them.

These people aren’t against you, they are your family and they love you.

These commenters speculated that this issue was part of a bigger pattern of controlling behavior

[Reddit User] − YTA there’s better ways to teach your kids, maybe read up on techniques to properly do this.

But also explain you want them to learn to be clean and organized versus being (and excuse me) b***chy,

I feel this could have been approached better. Make amends ASAP and find better ways to get your point across.

Otherwise your kids will learn to hate you and not want to talk to you. Again YTA

purplecurtain16 − INFO: This isolated incident doesn't sound enough to push a girl to tears and run her out of her own home.

There's more you're not telling us OP. In what other ways have you been controlling?

These users emphasized that the parent needed therapy to address control issues and avoid further alienating their children

Puppyjito − How does it benefit her? If the clothes are in the drawers, why do you care how they're folded?

If you want to be OCD with your own stuff that's fine, but forcing your ridiculous standards on your children is wrong.

And the fact that your husband, sister, and mom think you're wrong should be a wakeup call.

If your daughter wants you to get mental help, I have a feeling this story is just the tip of the iceberg.

Get help before you alienate all your children. YTA

AppellofmyEye − YTA- your daughter’s bf is right. Get some therapy to figure out why it’s so important for you

to control unimportant minutiae before it further damages your relationship with your family.

madman636 − YTA take a look at yourself bc I doubt this is the only thing that made her leave.

You most likely have a pattern of being controlling and This was just the last straw.

The way you decided to act was more akin to a child than an adult. You made a mess bc you didn’t get your way. That’s moronic

Do you think the mom’s need for control is justifiable, or was she crossing a line? Share your thoughts below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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