A high school student sparked family drama when he decided to go by “Lex” instead of his full name, Alexander. For him, it’s just a nickname, short, modern, and something his friends actually call him. For his mom? It’s apparently the beginning of social and professional ruin.
Things boiled over when his school newsletter featured him as “Lex Lastname” under a photo for his club. His mom was horrified, even calling the teacher to complain. He turned to Reddit to ask: is he really wrong for choosing a name that feels more him, or is his mom clinging a little too tightly to her “handsome and sophisticated” choice? Want the full tea? Buckle up.
A 16-year-old insisted on using his nickname “Lex” in a school newsletter, prompting his mom to complain to the school and berate him for rejecting “Alexander”
Names often carry more weight for parents than children realize, and that tension is at the heart of this story.
The OP prefers to go by “Lex,” a nickname for his given name, Alexander. His mother insists on the full name, even going so far as to call his school after “Lex” appeared in a newsletter. What looks like a minor clash over word choice actually reveals deeper questions about identity, autonomy, and control.
From the mother’s perspective, Alexander represents tradition, dignity, and the care she put into naming her son. Psychologists note that parents sometimes see names as extensions of themselves rather than independent choices their children make.
A 2018 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that names often become tied to parental identity, making it difficult for some parents to accept when children use alternatives or nicknames.
On the other hand, adolescents naturally seek independence, and choosing how to be addressed is part of that process. The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that teenage years are critical for “establishing personal identity,” which can include experimenting with clothing, friendships, and yes, names. At 16, OP is not rejecting his family but carving out a social identity that feels authentic.
Dr. Jean Twenge, a psychologist and author of iGen, observes: “For teens, even small decisions about identity matter because they reinforce the idea that they are separate individuals with autonomy.” This insight suggests that Lex’s choice is less about discarding his mother’s gift and more about normal adolescent boundary-setting.
The healthiest approach here may be compromise. OP can acknowledge his mother’s emotional investment in the name while still asserting his right to be called Lex among peers. Parents, in turn, can reduce conflict by recognizing that nicknames do not erase love or heritage — they simply reflect growth.
For OP, holding firm on Lex in school while allowing his mother to use Alexander at home might ease tensions. Ultimately, respecting each other’s feelings while recognizing that identity evolves could turn this conflict into an opportunity for mutual understanding.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
These users supported his right to use “Lex,” citing examples like Lex Luthor to debunk “girly” claims
Some criticized his mom’s overreaction, noting nicknames are common and his choice to make
This group emphasized his autonomy, with the latter sharing their own nickname use
These commenters called her behavior controlling, reassuring him teachers face worse
One referenced pop culture “Lex” examples, urging him to keep it
This name battle reveals more than just preference, it’s about a teenager stepping into independence while a parent struggles to let go of symbolic control. For Lex, a nickname is confidence and identity. For his mom, Alexander is heritage and dignity. Both perspectives carry weight, but one thing is certain: the person wearing the “name coat” ultimately decides how it fits.
What do you think? Should parents accept nicknames as a natural rite of passage, or is it fair for them to insist on the names they chose with care? Drop your thoughts below.
