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Mom Lets Grandma Use Whiskey On Baby, Husband Freaks Out And Bans Visits

by Layla Bui
March 25, 2026
in Social Issues

There is always a moment in parenting where you have to decide whose advice to follow. Between modern recommendations and traditional methods, that decision is not always as clear as it seems.

That is exactly what happened when a first-time mom listened to her own mother’s suggestion to help calm a teething baby. At the time, it didn’t feel like a big deal, but the reaction she got afterward changed everything.

Now she is dealing with tension, doubt, and a partner who sees things very differently. Read on to find out how the situation escalated.

A first-time mom faces backlash after trusting her mother’s old remedy

Mom Lets Grandma Use Whiskey On Baby, Husband Freaks Out And Bans Visits
not actual the photo

'AITA for letting my mom rub whiskey on my babies gums?'

I, 28f, am a first-time mom. My husband and I have a 6-month-old baby who is teething horribly.

I was at my mother's home a few days ago and was speaking to her about the teething issues.

My mom does some old-fashioned things, and she’s really into herbs and natural healing and such,

so she wanted to try rubbing whiskey on my daughter's gums. She said she did it to me and all 3 of my siblings.

I let her, and it did seem to calm my daughter down a bit.

When I got home I told my husband about this, and he was furious.

He said that’s harmful to our daughter, and it does not relieve any pain.

He got really upset and said I shouldn’t have let my mom do something like that and

told me I couldn’t bring our daughter to my mother's anymore.

He’s since called the next 2 days off of work and is super paranoid, watching me every second with our daughter. I feel this is unfair.

When it comes to parenting, few situations feel as overwhelming as trying to soothe a crying baby while running on little sleep. According to research from the American Academy of Pediatrics, even well-informed parents don’t always follow recommended guidelines in real-life situations.

The study found that many caregivers, despite understanding safe practices, still resort to nonrecommended methods when faced with stress, exhaustion, or a baby who simply won’t settle.

This doesn’t necessarily come from neglect; it reflects a deeper emotional conflict. Parents often prioritize immediate relief and comfort for their child over long-term safety recommendations. In high-pressure moments, decisions are shaped more by instinct and urgency than by clinical reasoning.

As highlighted by the American Academy of Pediatrics, this gap between knowledge and behavior is incredibly common, especially among first-time parents navigating unfamiliar challenges.

That’s where generational influence steps in. Traditional remedies, passed down from parents or grandparents, often carry a sense of trust and emotional reassurance. When a mother says, “It worked for you,” it can feel more convincing than abstract medical advice.

These practices are not just about effectiveness; they’re tied to family identity, culture, and lived experience. However, modern science raises important concerns. A recent study published on PMC (PubMed Central) highlights how alcohol exposure in caregiving environments can negatively influence both parental judgment and child safety outcomes.

While occasional or minimal exposure may not lead to long-term harm, researchers emphasize that alcohol is not a safe or effective solution for soothing infants. Any calming effect observed is due to its sedative properties, not actual pain relief.

Beyond the health implications, situations like this often reveal underlying relationship tensions. When one parent perceives a threat to the child, even if unintentional, their reaction can escalate quickly.

Fear can override communication, leading to overprotection, mistrust, or conflict. This aligns with broader psychological findings that stress can disrupt healthy communication patterns between partners.

Ultimately, this issue goes beyond a single parenting choice. It reflects the ongoing tension between tradition and evidence-based parenting, as well as the importance of shared decision-making.

While it’s natural to lean on family wisdom, especially in moments of vulnerability, it’s equally important to verify information and communicate openly with a partner.

Because in the end, parenting isn’t just about making the “right” choice; it’s about learning, adapting, and building trust together along the way.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These Redditors backed OP, saying it was a mistake but not a big deal

ClauzzieHowlbrance − NTA You made a bad judgment call here, and a lot of people are going to come charging in on their high

horses to tell you what a horrible mother you are, like they've never messed up before. Don't worry about them.

You're a first-time mom, so you're naturally going to listen to your own mother when she tries to give you advice.

It's natural to look to our elders for guidance and to trust them. While many mothers (including my own)

have used this method, we know a lot more about these older "tried and true" remedies these days.

Most of them never worked how they were intended to, if at all.

If you wanted something more natural, there are plenty of herbs that you could talk to your daughter's doctor about.

If you just let your daughter's doctor know that you want something along those lines, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

You're not some monster that's going to harm your child. Honestly, if this is how your husband is reacting, that's a red flag.

He's right, it doesn't relieve pain, and if you were to start doing it regularly, yeah, it can be harmful.

However, it was a one-time thing that you told him about, and now you know not to do it again.

He shouldn't be acting like it was a c__spiracy to intentionally hurt your daughter. The best course of action is to be mature adults

about this and have some open communication among the three of you (you, him, and your mother).

Your mother needs to understand that this is a new boundary.

He needs to understand that parents make mistakes, and it doesn't do anyone any good to become extreme in such a way.

You need to understand to look into things before applying them to your child so that this (or something worse) doesn't happen to your child.

I hope this situation is handled well and that all of you can find yourselves in a better situation of clearer understanding and progress.

PolarBear374665 − As I recall, rubbing alcohol on a baby’s gums

when teething was somewhat normal in the 1950s and 1960s (and maybe even after that). It worked like a charm, I’m told.

I assumed it had a numbing effect, but apparently it actually gets the kid slightly inebriated so they don’t notice the pain.

Luckily, along came Anbesol, and there was no more need to get the kid buzzed.

Anyway, I’d say NTA. You assumed your mother had some clue about what she was doing;

she had used that technique on you, and you (presumably) are no worse for the experience,

and it is unlikely to have caused any permanent damage. Probably should try some other non-a__oholic remedy in the future, though.

Away_Refuse8493 − NTA (though that would change if you continued to do this) Probably not the wisest move, but overall

I don't think this will hurt your baby. People have done this for centuries, and babies managed to survive.

It's one of those things that are discouraged now, though. Your husband has a right to request

that no one rub whiskey on his baby's gums, though it is significantly overstepping to forbid you from visiting your own mother.

It's also not really fair if you are a first-time parent left alone all day that you are expected to somehow magically

know how to handle every situation. Go purchase some actual stuff for teething, or talk to your doctor.

Shot-Artichoke-4106 − Oh wow. Talk about an overreaction on your husband's part.

He banned your child from your mom's house and took 2 days off work to supervise you with your own child. Again, wow.

The whiskey-on-the-gums thing is a questionable practice and shouldn't be done, but it's not like trying it once will cause irreparable damage.

You know now that it was ineffective and just not a good idea.

In the course of raising this child, you will both make parenting mistakes, plenty of them I guarantee it.

And you aren't the first parents to find that your own parents practiced techniques that have since proven to be bad ideas.

The response shouldn't be to ban your parents from your child, but rather to update your parents on current practices.

And NTA, but you and your husband definitely need to find a better way of dealing with the differences in parenting styles

and choices that you will undoubtedly encounter over the next couple decades.

pulchra_lunae − While you should have had better judgment, I think folks need to put down their pitchforks on this one.

NTA for turning to your mom and letting her try something that her generation (and ones before) did.

Specific to your husband: I get being upset, but taking time off work to watch you?

Unless you’ve had severe lapses in judgement before this, I don’t see why he’s reacting this way.

If you have continual severe judgment lapses or continue to use Jack as Mommy's little helper, THEN you’d be the A H.

BPDSENTeacher − Personally, I wouldn't do this with my daughter, who is three months old and has already started teething.

My daughter has teething toys that go in the fridge, and once cooled, she can use them to chew on.

Sure, when we were kids, our parents did use alcohol, as that was the 'norm,' but it really isn't safe.

My health visitor (I'm UK-based) has even advised against using any types of gels, just Calpol and toys.

Did your husband react in the best way? Probably not. Was your mom trying to help after hearing the struggles you

and the baby are going through and doing her best to help? Yes. Did it work? Yes. Best thing to do?

Take this as a learning experience and move on, maybe not doing the whole alcohol thing again.

If he continues to act like a helicopter parent, call him out on it and leave the teething baby with him

for the day and give yourself a rest. Taking care of a baby is goddamn hard.

Maybe this will give him some perspective that you were trying your best and needed that quick fix. For that reason, NTA.

These users called OP out for unsafe judgment and using harmful remedies

Hour-Performance-951 − YTA, yeah. I mean, you know alcohol is unsafe.

It also happens not to work as a topical analgesic; if the baby quietens down, it's because of the general sedative effect of alcohol.

I think it's hilarious how your mother conflates the use of a well-understood but completely inappropriate d__g with 'herbs and natural healing.'

thirdtryisthecharm − Gently YTA. You're 28 and a mom.

You need to make your own judgments, not just listen to your mom without question.

And in this case your judgment was to let your mom give your infant alcohol. Does that sound trustworthy to you?

MaxYTpro − YTA, you should've discussed it with your partner first, especially since the remedy actually might be harmful to the child.

And honestly, you shouldn't even be using alcohol on a baby; go to a doctor or just get some numbing cream for babies.

DJ_Too_Supreme − YTA. Um, don’t give your 6-month-old alcohol? Doctors practice and study this stuff for a reason.

I understand you're a new mom and made a mistake, but it's common sense to seek a doctor

if something seems wrong with either you or your kid. It seems a bit fair he would be paranoid considering he is a new father as well.

HarveySnake − This is something my MIL did for her two oldest kids back in the 60s, but alcohol is proven to be harmful for babies.

She also dropped out of high school... There is non-a__oholic, over-the-counter, pain rub for teething babies. YTA

Specific_Alps554 − Gentle YTA. You’re 28, you have your own child, and YOU are responsible for their well-being.

A quick Google search would have told you this probably wasn’t the best idea.

I understand your husband completely, and you should respect the boundary he has set until he feels comfortable again.

KronkLaSworda − YTA Next time you want to try homeopathic remedies on your child, talk to your partner first.

You both must agree, or the answer is no.

djfhg4123 − Can’t believe that an almost 30-year-old needs to be told not to give whiskey to a baby, but here we are.

9/10 doctors don’t prefer a certain brand of cigarette anymore either.

This user said both sides were wrong, calling OP careless and husband overreacting

mewley − I guess I’d say ESH. Letting your mom put whiskey on your baby’s gums was dumb.

Your husband is also severely overreacting. The amount of alcohol your baby was exposed to was minimal;

it’s not going to have any lasting impact, and it’s ridiculous to act like neither you nor your mother can ever be along with the baby again.

Newsflash: Parents make mistakes. Your husband will make one too.

You should be educating yourselves and being careful, but also learning to deal kindly with the mishaps that come up.

In the end, this story feels less like a scandal and more like a growing pain, just not the baby’s. One parent trusted tradition; the other trusted modern safety standards, and somewhere in between, communication broke down.

While the decision itself may not have been ideal, the reaction to it arguably made things worse. So what do you think? Was the mom unfairly judged for a one-time mistake, or did she cross a line that justified her husband’s reaction?

And more importantly, how should couples handle parenting disagreements when emotions run high? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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