Mom-to-Be Chooses Her Own Mother Over Fiancé for Postpartum Care, and He’s Livid

Pregnancy is supposed to be a time when a partner steps up, but for one 23-year-old woman, it has been a time of realizing just how little her fiancé actually contributes.

Currently five months pregnant with her first biological child, the Original Poster (OP) is already raising her fiancé’s two children (ages 6 and 4) from a previous relationship. Despite being the primary breadwinner and recovering from illnesses while pregnant, she finds herself doing the majority of the housework and child-rearing.

Now, facing the physical toll of childbirth, she plans to stay with her mother for a month to recover. Her fiancé is claiming this is “unfair,” but the internet thinks his objections have less to do with missing the baby and more to do with losing his live-in housekeeper.

Now, read the full story:

This is a classic case of actions speaking louder than words. The OP is essentially acting as a single mother of three (two kids plus her fiancé), while holding down a full-time job and growing another human being. It is exhausting just reading about her schedule.

Her fiancé’s reaction to her plan is telling. Instead of saying, “I understand I haven’t been helpful, but I promise to step up so we can be a family together,” he went straight to guilt-tripping her about “fairness” and “trust.”

The “Fourth Trimester” is Non-Negotiable

The postpartum period, often called the “fourth trimester,” is a critical time for physical recovery and mental health. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, adequate support during this time is essential for the long-term health of both the mother and the infant.

When a partner has a history of checking out: ignoring night wakings, sickness, and chores; it is not “trust issues” to assume they won’t magically change overnight. It’s pattern recognition. The OP knows that if she stays home, she will likely be caring for a newborn, two other children, and a recovering partner, all while bleeding and sleep-deprived. That isn’t just hard; it’s a recipe for postpartum depression and physical burnout.

Staying with her mother isn’t just a cultural tradition; it’s a safety net. It guarantees that someone is prioritizing her recovery, something her fiancé has failed to do throughout her pregnancy.

Check out how the community responded:

The consensus was overwhelmingly NTA (Not the A–hole), with many users pointing out that the fiancé is likely worried about losing his free childcare/maid service.

Others were brutal in their assessment of the fiancé’s character.

Some suggested giving him a “trial run” before the baby arrives.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you are the pregnant partner in this scenario, listen to your gut. You are about to undergo a major medical event. You do not owe anyone a “chance” to prove themselves at the expense of your health.

If you want to give the relationship a fighting chance, set clear, measurable expectations now. Stop doing the chores. Stop waking up for the night shift with the older kids. See if he steps up. If the house falls apart or he gets angry, you have your answer.

Ultimately, your priority must be the safety and well-being of you and your newborn. If that means staying with your mom, do it without guilt. If he truly wants to be an involved father, he will make the drive, and he will use that month to get his house in order so it’s ready for you to return.

Conclusion

The OP isn’t wrong for wanting help; she’s wrong for thinking her fiancé is capable of providing it right now. By staying with her mother, she ensures her baby gets a healthy, rested mom. The fiancé’s anger is likely fear: fear of having to actually be a parent to his own children for a month.

What do you think? Is she abandoning her fiancé, or just surviving him?