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Mother Pays Teen Daughter $60 A Week For Bedroom Office Space, Son Explodes After Getting Nothing

by Leona Pham
December 17, 2025
in Social Issues

Family moves are rarely easy, especially when teenagers are involved. What feels like a practical decision for adults can land very differently for kids who are already juggling school, friendships, and big emotions. Add money into the mix, and even small arrangements can turn into full-blown conflicts that linger longer than anyone expects.

In this case, a mom found herself stuck between fairness and practicality after needing a quiet place to work from home. One child stepped up with an offer, the other shut it down completely. Now, weekly cash, hurt feelings, and accusations of favoritism have pushed the household into tense territory.

With grandparents weighing in and sibling arguments escalating fast, the internet is divided on whether this crossed a line or was simply a consequence of choice. Keep reading to see how people responded and where they landed.

One mother needed a quiet place to work from home after a family move disrupted everyone’s routines

Mother Pays Teen Daughter $60 A Week For Bedroom Office Space, Son Explodes After Getting Nothing
Not the actual photo

AITA for giving my daughter $60 a week, but my son nothing?

I (45F) have two kids, 17F and 15M.

We moved earlier this year to be closer to my parents as my parents health is declining.

My daughter was excited about the move, but my son has struggled to adjust.

Due to the move, my job shifted to hybrid, and I needed a work-from-home setup.

My bedroom is too small, and the only options were the lounge

or one of the kids’ rooms during school hours.

I proposed this to them, my son flat-out refused (“no way in hell”),

but my daughter offered her room and half-joked about charging me rent for the space.

I thought it was fair, as I get a $20/day work-from-home allowance.

I agreed to give it to her if she was okay with me setting up a small office in her room.

I work from 8:30 to 5:00, and she usually starts homework right

after I finish, so it’s worked out well.

Now the issue: my son is pissed that his sister is getting $60.

I don’t do regular allowances, just canteen money (about $10/week) and other needs as they come up.

I told him he had the same opportunity and was now s__t out of luck.

He got angry and brought up the move, saying he never gets to see his friends.

(For the record, I drive them back to visit every two weeks for visits)

I told him I understood his feelings but said I wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to like s__t.

He then started an argument with his sister too, going in on her

for being an opportunistic b__ch and she called him a whiny little a__hole.

To cool off, I offered one of them the option to stay at their grandparents for the night,

not as a punishment but to break the tension.

My son opted to go & while dropping him off,

my mom told me I was favoring my daughter and should be paying them equally.

My dad disagreed, saying my son had the chance and was s__t out of luck..AITA?

ETA: The conversation took place over the course of the afternoon,

and I didn’t immediately agree to the deal with my daughter.

I offered it to my son first, who reiterated “hell no” and “get the f__k out of my room”.

I also should mention the reason I have the smallest room is due to the lack of insulation in the ceiling

and flooring making it damp, and as we’re heading into winter I wasn’t sending either kid in there.

The room also fits a single bed, and a set of drawers, with essentially no other space at all.

We own the house in Auckland NZ, and I don’t have the spare cash to get it insulated at the moment

(or even fit any of my equipment to work from home in there).

Most family conflicts don’t begin with money or rules; they begin with the quiet fear of not mattering as much as someone else. Especially for teenagers, fairness is rarely about numbers; it’s about whether their emotions feel seen, protected, and respected during change.

At the heart of this situation, the mother wasn’t simply deciding how to distribute money. She was navigating competing emotional needs at a time when the family was already under strain.

Her daughter responded to disruption with flexibility and problem-solving, offering her space and reframing inconvenience as an opportunity. Her son, however, was reacting from a place of loss.

The move cost him daily access to his friends, familiarity, and his sense of control, and his bedroom became his last reliable refuge. When that space was even hypothetically threatened, his refusal wasn’t about greed or laziness; it was about emotional self-preservation.

Being told he was “out of luck” may have landed not as a consequence, but as confirmation that his grief ranked lower than his sister’s adaptability.

What’s interesting is how differently society tends to interpret these responses. The daughter’s behavior aligns with traits often praised, cooperation, maturity, and motivational regulation, while the son’s anger fits a pattern where boys’ distress is mislabeled as defiance rather than vulnerability.

Research consistently shows that adolescent boys often externalize emotional pain through anger because they lack socially acceptable outlets for sadness or fear. From his perspective, the issue wasn’t the $60; it was watching his sister be rewarded during a transition he never wanted, while his own discomfort felt like an inconvenience to manage.

Experts support this perspective. Although a specific Psychology Today article by Dr. Lisa Damour on how fairness becomes deeply personal in adolescence may not be accessible, developmental research shows that teens’ emotional reactions are strongly shaped by how they experience fairness and belonging within the family.

As one summary of adolescent development explains, “Adolescents appear to do best when they grow up in a family atmosphere that permits the development of individuality against a backdrop of close family ties.”

This suggests that when outcomes feel unequal or dismissive, teens are especially likely to interpret that experience in deeply personal ways, for example, interpreting unequal treatment as unequal love, because they are actively forming their identity and evaluating their worth within their closest relationships.

Applying that insight here, the mother’s decision wasn’t wrong, but it was incomplete. Compensating her daughter for lost privacy was reasonable. What was missing was an alternative path for her son to regain agency and dignity.

Without that, the money became a symbol of favoritism rather than fairness. The conflict escalated not because of greed, but because pain went untranslated into understanding.

A path forward isn’t about equal pay, but emotional equity. Creating another way for the son to earn, contribute, or feel valued, while acknowledging his grief without dismissing it, could turn this from a zero-sum conflict into a lesson about resilience, boundaries, and belonging. Families don’t fracture over decisions; they fracture over unspoken hurt.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

These Redditors felt the money gap created long-term resentment and power imbalance

mavenmim − I can understand your logic, but I also don't totally agree

with giving one child such a huge amount of money

and the other nothing, and I think you are missing the bigger picture for your son,

where he feels like his needs are not being considered as important within the family.

If you are renting (or own) the whole house, then renting back space

from a child is renting something you already paid for.

As the adult, it wouldn't be unreasonable to expect the larger room,

especially if you need to work from home.

If your daughter has a larger room than you,

you are already giving her benefits that most parents probably wouldn't.

So I don't think you need to pass on the whole working

from home allowance to use the limited space that is available.

However, I get your point that it would be nice

to reward her kindness in giving up some of her privacy by letting you use her space.

I think the problem is that you are giving quite a lot of money to your daughter

(I bet hardly any 17 year olds in a similar financial position get given a $250/month allowance).

I suspect that $10/week would have been more than enough for her to feel grateful.

You could have come up with something that benefited your whole family

covering travel back to see your son's friends, for example,

if he is old enough to do the journey on public transport, or having a special meal each month.

If you wanted to reward your daughter's increasing independence

with an allowance that would be fine too

with the expectation that your son would get the same at the same age.

I guess the only part that made me err towards YTA is that you have been so dismissive of your son's needs,

and that phrase "s__t out of luck" feels so rejecting, and to encapsulate how he must feel

to be uprooted from his peer group and watching his sister

being financially indulged whilst he is just getting criticism.

You say you won't tolerate being spoken

to like s__t, having just spoken to him that way.

It seems like do as I say, not as I do.

To read a post with such polarised opinions about your daughter as the wonderful child

and your son as the troublesome one makes me wonder

whether you are projecting a negative opinion about men/boys (or his father),

or have struggled with other elements of your relationship with your son,

or whether you actually feel a bit guilty about moving him

and have persuaded yourself it is the right thing so strongly

that to really acknowledge his feelings would be difficult?

Crafter_2307 − YTA.You said he was having trouble adjusting

that’s the only safe space he currently has.

Anyone, especially a teenage boy is going

to have a knee jerk reaction to a suggestion that his space may be invaded.

You’ve uprooted his life - and by the sounds of it he doesn’t have the income

to be able to go socialise with anyone else outside of school even if he’s invited.

You must’ve known the limitations in advance and this should have been discussed before moving.

Chen932000 − It doesn’t matter that the son chose not to take the deal or that the daughter did.

The mother is the AH for even creating a situation

that has such a huge disparity in the money the kids get.

You’d get resentment from whomever didn’t take the deal,

particularly since you don’t seem to be giving them any other allowance.

The whole situation is just a recipe for long term conflict.YTA.

maloneth − YTA.Take everything you said out of the equation.

Put all that to the side for now.

And just focus on this next part.

Look at the power dynamic you’ve instilled between your daughter and son.

What negatives could possibly result from this? Tons.Jealousy.Resentment.

Maybe even violence.

What positives could possibly result from this? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t know.

This group backed the mom, arguing the daughter earned her money fairly

bahahahahahhhaha − NTA There is a real cost to your daughter to be sharing her room.

She is giving up some of her privacy, likely has to keep things tidier etc,

and generally doesn't get a space that fully feels like hers.

She's decided that's worth it to her for 60$/week.

It would be extremely unfair if the son got that same money for literally doing nothing.

The only way I'd potentially give him some of the money is if the "office" moved between the two rooms

and on alternate weeks or months (depending on how hard it is to move the office set up) he gave up his room.

alyxmorganvo − NTA I'm with your dad.

Your daughter took the option to co-share her room, & came up with a win-win situation.

If your son had been less angry with you over the move, he might've come up with a similar solution.

It's too bad that your son is having such a hard time with the move,

but you're right that he has no call to treat you like crap or talk to you like crap.

Hopefully things will calm down eventually & that your son will start making new friends.

HolyUnicornBatman − NTA.I’m with your daughter and dad.

Despite it starting as a half-joke, your daughter’s quick thinking

(and kindness to agreeing to your situation) nabbed her extra money.

It just goes to show that being nice and kind in any situation

(familial or anything in the real world) can have positive consequences.

Ok-Willow-9145 − Your daughter was willing to give you the use

of her space even before there was money involved.

Why shouldn’t she get rewarded for her generosity of spirit.

Your son has his room all to himself like he wanted.

He wants money for nothing and that’s not how the world works.

They suggested alternative ways for the son to earn money to restore fairness

Atlas_Hid − Offer your son a “job,” like weekly a couple of things to do.

It could be things like taking out the garbage or yard work or even vacuuming.

That way he has an opportunity to receive money too.

SeePerspectives − Why not offer your son the opportunity

to earn the same amount by doing something else that contributes towards the household too?

Rather than having this be a source of tension, make it into a learning experience.

Generally, money is earned through giving our labour, time, or comfort (or a combo of them),

so if he wants the money he needs to find a way to earn it.

Yardwork, cooking a few meals per week, keeping the shared spaces tidy and hoovered,

I’m sure you can think of something.

Exotic-Blacksmith-56 − INFO: was there another opportunity that you offered your son

to make money as well? Only one of them can accept the offer

To be paid for the use of their bedroom So someone was going to be "s...out of luck" either way.

If fairness is the issue here then you need to find a way

to give your son another opportunity to earn extra cash.

Leaning towards YTA due to only only chance to earn being given

between two children which would create an imbalance

and unfair situation in whoever did not take the opportunity.

Most readers agreed on one thing: this situation was never really about $60 a week. It was about adjustment, autonomy, and emotional fallout from a move that hit each child differently. While many defended the mother’s logic, others worried the arrangement unintentionally deepened her son’s sense of isolation.

Do you think the mom taught a fair lesson about choices and consequences, or did she overlook the emotional cost of the deal? How would you handle money, space, and fairness when teens are already struggling to adapt? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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