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Parent Grounds 16-Year-Old for the Rest of the Year Over Not Using Condoms – Too Harsh?

by Charles Butler
October 16, 2025
in Social Issues

A parent’s heart sank when their 16-year-old son, eyes wide with fear, confessed he might’ve gotten his girlfriend pregnant after skipping condoms, blaming a ridiculous “garbage bag” excuse.

Despite years of teaching safe s_x, his reckless choice led to a tough parental response: grounded until the end of the year, no private hangouts, and a summer job to learn responsibility.

Even when tests showed no pregnancy, the rules didn’t budge. The next day, their son begged for leniency, leaving the parent wondering if they were too harsh. Was this firm parenting or an over-the-top punishment?

Parent Grounds 16-Year-Old for the Rest of the Year Over Not Using Condoms - Too Harsh?
Not the actual photo

Reddit’s buzzing with opinions on this juicy family drama. Check out the full story below!

AITA for grounding my son for the rest of the year and forbidding him from seeing his girlfriend (or any of his friends) privately because I found out he wasn’t...

Two days ago, my 16 year old son came to my wife and I freaked out. He said he’s scared for his life and he doesn’t know what he’s going...

We had to calm him down and to make a long story short, he thinks he got his girlfriend pregnant.

He said she missed her period weeks ago and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do because he’s not ready to be a father.

His girlfriend is vehemently pro-life, so there’s not anything he can do.

I asked him how could this happen; why wasn’t she taking her reproductive health seriously and be on birth control,

and ESPECIALLY, why isn’t he especially not taking him reproductive seriously by using condoms.

He said that his girlfriend’s parents are strict, so she has no way to access them, and to condoms, he said and I quote

“Condoms feel like having s__ with a thick garbage bag.” Apparently, they relied on the calendar method

and pulling out because “together, it’s almost impossible to get pregnant.”

I was infuriated. I’ve talked to him ALL the time about safe s__. We’re no prudes; we knew that once he got a girlfriend, he’d start having s__.

Which is why we emphasized being safe. We’ve just have had this conversation so many times; I was just so.

Angry. That my son would do this to his life, and potentially wreck his entire life.

I told him that this was his f__k-up, and he has to take responsibility.

Effective immediately, he is going to have to get a job and work 40 hours a week and start building a savings.

Additionally, he has shown that we cannot trust him to make responsible decisions, and he’s effectively grounded until the end of the year.

He can spend time with his friends at our house only, with all the doors open, and he cannot go upstairs with any girl at all.

He can also only do this only when we’re home (we live in a gated community so this is easily enforceable).

That means no sleepovers, no parties, no going to the pool (unless we go with him), no nothing.

If he wants to go somewhere like out to eat with his friends, we’ll use find my iPhone to track him. He said he understood.

He came to us today with great news; his girlfriend got her period.

He asked now that she’s not really pregnant, can the punishment be less strict,

and that he promises to start using condoms now, but my wife and I want to stick to our guns on this.

Though with the added stipulation that he can work 20 hours a week instead, and it can be a mixture of volunteer and actual work.

But he’s shown us he’s downright irresponsible and we just plainly cannot trust him until he matures.

My son maintains that we’re being WAY to harsh, and that he realizes his mistake now,

but he’s also said in the past that he’d never have s__ without a condom because “he’s not an i__ot.”

We just plainly cannot trust him right now. Are we being unreasonable?

EDIT: The work thing would've just been for the summer.

Sorry for the confusion; we agree that there's no way on Earth he could manage that many hours during the school year.

Expert Opinion: When a Teen’s Blunder Tests Parental Patience

This Redditor’s saga reads like a teen drama with stakes higher than a prom-night plot twist! Their son’s confession of unprotected intimacy, followed by a pregnancy scare, hit like a thunderbolt.

Despite repeated safe-intimacy lessons, his “calendar method” gamble left his parents livid, leading to a year-long grounding, supervised hangouts, and a summer job mandate.

Even with the scare resolved, they’re sticking to their guns, sparking debate: masterclass in discipline or a trust-killing overreach?

The parents’ reaction is understandable, commenter SoberSeahorse called it a needed wake-up call. A 2024 CDC report notes 40% of sexually active teens skip condoms, risking life-altering consequences.

The Redditor’s rules aim to drill in accountability. But, as slightasian warned, treating a 16-year-old like a “convict” could erode trust, echoing common parenting concerns about balancing guidance with openness.

Commenter Corrival13 argued punishments should fit actions, not hypotheticals, suggesting a shorter grounding.

Harsh restrictions might curb risky behavior but risk pushing the son to hide future mistakes, as fakeginger01 noted.

A balanced approach, say, a month’s grounding plus a safe-intimacy workshop, could teach responsibility without alienating.

Additionally, this incident highlights the importance of communication over control. Teens are more likely to internalize lessons when parents explain the “why” behind rules, rather than enforcing strict bans.

GodfatherfromChive suggested easing restrictions gradually, allowing supervised outings and maintaining dialogue. The focus should be teaching accountability, not creating fear, especially after a scare that didn’t materialize.

This scenario also sparks debate about consequences versus education. Should parents react strongly to a near-mistake, or save harsher punishments for verified missteps?

Some Redditors applauded the firm stance, arguing that teens often need a stark reality check to understand risks.

Others warned that excessive punishment can fracture trust, leading to secretive behavior, dishonesty, or rebellion. It’s a delicate balance: safety, accountability, and emotional connection must all coexist.

Lessons and Insights

  • Consistency Matters: Teens need to understand rules apply to real risks, not hypotheticals, but consistent enforcement strengthens credibility.
  • Open Dialogue is Key: Explaining the reasons behind decisions helps teens internalize lessons rather than just comply out of fear.
  • Balanced Consequences: Overly harsh punishments may teach compliance but can damage long-term trust.
  • Real-World Responsibility: Assigning age-appropriate tasks, like a summer job, reinforces accountability in a constructive way.
  • Preparation Beats Punishment: Proactive education on safe intimacy, communication skills, and decision-making reduces crises before they escalate.

Check out how the community responded:

Users weighed in from all angles: some backed the parents’ tough stance as a reality check.

[Reddit User] − NTA. The entire year seems incredibly strict, BUT the fact that he can still see his friends and socialize at your home makes it not too bad.

It might be a little stricter than necessary, but the bottom line is, your son could’ve ruined his entire life because he was being plain stupid.

I bet your ass he’s going to use condoms after the punishment is over.

The fact is that you emphasized this to your son countless times. He just didn’t listen.

He’s shown you that you shouldn’t trust him at his word. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable here.

SoberSeahorse − NTA - Your son needs a lesson on being responsible.

GodfatherfromChive − NTA but, in my opinion, you made a decision for the length of the punishment in anger.

You might want to dial it back just a tad. Also go get him some decent condoms.

They've got plenty these days that are pretty good for sensitivity.

Others expressed concern that it could push the teen to hide future mistakes.

graywisteria − NTA for grounding him and supervising his visits with friends and all that, since he's been a huge moron and cannot be trusted, but the working part confuses...

INFO: how were you planning to have a 16 year old working 40 hours a week?

Doesn't he go to school? Even 20 hours a week seems extreme, unless it's just for the summer or something.

im_a_lurker_too − ESH - - Your son for being _massively_ irresponsible despite education on safe s__

and then thinking he should be punished less just because he managed to dodge the real consequences of his actions through sheer luck.

You for telling him him he has to be an adult and then still "grounding" him like he's a child Yes,

there should still be consequences and you can set the rules for what's goes on in your home but,

trying to dictate every waking hour of a teenager's life is folly (and a great way to completely alienate your kid)

and sends a very mixed message when you're effectively trying to tell them they need to "grow up" now.

EDIT: Removed piece about work schedule per OP's clarification

fakeginger01 − This is a hard one, but YTA. Slightly. On one hand he should definitely know better than to be having unprotected s__ at that age.

On the other hand, a punishment that strict will guarantee that he won’t trust you with these kinds of things anymore

and trust me, as someone raised by super strict parents I still managed to get in trouble all the time.

Commenters also debated whether a graduated approach, a shorter grounding plus responsible privileges, would have delivered the same lesson without risking rebellion.

[Reddit User] − YTA - great way to get your son to not tell you anything ever again. Total wrong move.

slightasian − Hi! Teen mom here! YTA! If your son became a father, he would basically need to grow up overnight.

Grounding him like a preteen isn’t how you treat other adults.

I understand the frustration of learning that your child is making bad decisions,

but such severe punishment is often times extremely counter productive. He knows that you don’t trust him.

Treating him like a convict won’t fix that. I think that giving him some more, new responsibilities is a good idea.

Tell him he needs to get a job, and pay his portion of the phone bill, or his car insurance. Teach him how to build savings.

Help your son become an adult, don’t just treat him like a 13 year old and hope for the best.

Corrival13 − Till the end of 2019? That's a bit rough. EDIT: I see all the replies saying his kid would be in worse shape if his gf was pregnant.

I completely agree. What I don't agree with is that you don't punish someone for what could have happened.

You punish them for what did happen. That's the same way the law handles it.

We don't sentence someone to 20 years in prison because they drove drunk and someone could have died.

His son used poor judgememt, that is all. The punishment should fit the crime. The crime was poor judgememt.

shavegrohl − YTA The kid seems scared enough as it is. If he’s in any way smart ( is he?) he’ll learn his lesson.

I think you’re over compensating here tbh. Education is better for your kid in the long run than punishment imo

A Scare That Shakes Up Family Ties

This Redditor’s parenting drama is a wild ride of fear, fury, and tough love. Was grounding their son for the year a fair response to his reckless choice, or does it risk pushing him away? The pregnancy scare fizzled, but the lesson’s real.

The story highlights an ongoing challenge for parents: balancing guidance, trust, and accountability. Do you think the parents’ strict rules will shape a responsible teen, or is a softer approach needed to keep trust intact?

How would you navigate a teen’s risky move without losing their confidence? Share your thoughts below!

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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