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Parents Ghosted Their Daughter For 5 Years, Now Want To Reconnect After Seeing Her Kids On Facebook

by Layla Bui
November 25, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes, the people we expect to support us the most are the ones who turn away, leaving us to navigate life’s biggest decisions on our own.

For one woman, her decision to marry her former boss caused a rift so wide with her parents that they stopped speaking to her completely after the wedding. The estrangement lasted for five years, and despite her attempts to reach out, they never responded until they saw a social media post about her anniversary and children.

Now, with her parents asking to meet her kids, she’s left wondering if it’s time to reconnect, or if the hurt and rejection are too much to forgive. Scroll down to see how she’s weighing her options and whether the past can be left behind for the sake of her children’s relationship with their grandparents.

A woman’s parents ghosted her for 5 years after her wedding, only to reach out now that they’ve seen a social media post about her kids

Parents Ghosted Their Daughter For 5 Years, Now Want To Reconnect After Seeing Her Kids On Facebook
not the actual photo

'My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?'

My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant.

We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in.

We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating.

I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married.

While we'd only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other,

lived together, and there was a baby on the way.

We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss,

so we didn't anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.

They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn't like me dating my boss,

and hadn't told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding.

We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn't,

how the second it got unprofessional, we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me,

but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby,

because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them.

I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.

The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly

before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well.

The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other,

and my parents never arrived at the reception.

I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home.

I don't remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable.

I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email,

which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I'm an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.

5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding.

My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary

in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way.

Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and,

having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them.

I haven't responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven't.

I don't know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it's about the kids,

not about them respecting my choices or relationship.

However, I can't help but feel that I'm being unfair, and my brother agrees,

because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually,

then we could talk, and now I'm retroactively applying a time limit.

Edit: can't find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents.

I don't think this is a race thing or that my parents are r__ist, and neither does my husband,

and we don't understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were r__ist,

but this element is still gnawing at me. Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?

TLDR; I'm married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I'd hoped and ignored me for 5 years,

only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?

2 days later, OP provided an update:

TLDR; They're racists.

I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband.

They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually,

depending on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids' lives.

They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day.

It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me,

so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene,

but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him.

They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding,

but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices,

and they were so ashamed they couldn't bring themselves to send theirs.

Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they've missed in 5 years and they really don't want to miss any more.

I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss,

and they said that it just wasn't what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse.

I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn't support the marriage,

and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he'd get.

The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away,

and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said "my daughter", and didn't talk to me directly,

it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away.

My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly,

then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn't have invited them,

and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as,

as a father, he didn't understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.

My dad snapped that he wasn't going to take this from a "cushi", a slur meaning dark skinned.

My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call.

They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn't indicative of a racist attitude,

and he wouldn't have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.

I've spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade.

Turns out they're just racist. It's almost nice to find out.

If it was just the boss thing, I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile,

but with this, it's now just a question of if I'm going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists,

which I am obviously not going to do.

When you feel rejected by your own parents, it’s a wound that doesn’t heal easily. The OP’s parents ghosted her after her wedding, and now, five years later, they’re reappearing, wanting to meet her children. The hurt isn’t just about the absence; it’s about the emotional betrayal of not having your parents support you when you needed them most.

The OP’s decision to now withhold contact is not about punishing them, it’s about protecting herself and her children from further emotional pain.

Emotionally, this situation reflects the complex nature of family dynamics. The OP was forced to make difficult choices, marrying someone her parents disapproved of, and later, enduring their silent treatment after the wedding.

Now that they want to reconnect, it’s not just about rekindling the family bond; it’s about whether the OP can trust them again after such a painful estrangement. Her hesitation to let them back into her life, especially her children’s lives, is not only understandable but deeply protective.

Trust once broken isn’t easily repaired, and it’s clear that the OP is grappling with how to balance her desire for reconciliation with the need to keep her family safe from further emotional hurt.

This story is more than just a family issue; it’s about boundaries and emotional self-preservation. According to Psychology Today, “Adult children and parents must maintain healthy boundaries, particularly when one side has repeatedly violated those boundaries.”

The OP’s parents didn’t just disagree with her decisions; they withdrew support, leaving her to navigate life without the people she should have been able to rely on. This makes her decision to withhold contact not only a protective measure but also a form of emotional self-defense.

It’s also important to understand why the OP’s parents are returning now. According to Dr. Sherrie Campbell, a family psychologist, parents often return to their adult children after years of estrangement due to a deep-seated need to control or reassert themselves in the family dynamic.

“Parents who try to force themselves back into their children’s lives after an estrangement often do so without acknowledging their past actions, which can cause even more damage.”

Dr. Campbell’s insight helps clarify the OP’s situation. Her parents are not just seeking to meet their grandchildren, they’re seeking a reentry into her life, but without the necessary steps of taking responsibility for the estrangement.

The OP has every right to question whether they truly deserve access to her children, especially when they haven’t shown any accountability for the hurt they caused her.

Expert insight from Psychology Today also confirms the emotional impact of estrangement. In a study of estranged parent-child relationships, researchers found that parental rejection or emotional abandonment is one of the key drivers of long-term emotional distress for children.

When the OP’s parents withdrew, they didn’t just reject her decisions, they sent the message that their love and support were conditional. Now, after five years, the OP is rightfully concerned about reintroducing them into her family dynamic without addressing the underlying issues.

Ultimately, the OP must decide if the risk of reintroducing her parents into her life is worth it, whether they can be trusted again, and whether they can respect the boundaries she needs to set for her family. Her children’s emotional health and her own peace of mind must always come first.

See what others had to share with OP:

This group emphasized the emotional toll of being abandoned by parents

LayleyBean − How could you ever trust them not to just abandon your kids if they did something ‘unauthorized’?

They’ve shown that they aren’t willing to be loving. You can’t trust people who don’t know how to love.

Kaiisim − Youve buried the lede in your comments here.

The piece of the missing puzzle is being named for your older sister who died before you were born.

It sounds like you were a replacement child and they dumped you because you were no longer doing what they wanted.

Especially with the added info of them talking a lot about your wedding day.

They imagined your life a _lot_. It's honestly nothing to do with your husband being your boss imo,

and just to do with the fact it's not what they imagined for you.

The fact they want to show up now they realised there is _another_ little girl apparently with the same name is a bit of a red flag.

You were put in an impossible situation, born to replace a person that only existed for a brief period.

She always did as she was told. She always loved your parents first. Etc etc.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/in-flux/201409/are-you-replacement-child

Read this, see how it fits. Be careful, your parents arent emotionally safe.

This is all probably unconscious reaction to deep grief, mixed with whatever personality traits.

Ghosting you for 5 years is messed up. They're basically saying they would have never spoken to you ever again were it not for your kids.

These commenters questioned the parents’ motives

the-mirrors-truth − Do you think you'll regret not reaching out?

I would think it's 100% up to them to rebuild their relationship with you and you decide if it's enough.

I don't know if I would trust them with your children.

They walked away from their daughter so easily, I can see them doing it to the kids as well if things don't go their way and they're likely to be...

poolofgold − what kind of parents ignore... no... literally GHOSTS their daughter out of the blue only to return once you’ve had grandkids?

Would they have still reached out if they didn’t know about your children?

I hate to say this, but there are so many red flags through this thing. I’m quite concerned for the safety of your children as well, honestly.

if you, your kids and your husband have been living happily these past few years happily, please reconsider doing this.

It’s quite absurd these people would abandon you (you! not just a distant relative, but family? a daughter??)

so quickly, especially over such a trivial matter—— so put the safety, happiness, and sanity of yourself, your husband and your kids first.

no need to open a wound already stitched shut, you’ll just be poisoning yourself.

I know they’re your parents, but I just can’t see anything good out of their behavior, or anything that may come out of this.

Edit: even if you feel regret, and you think they do too. ... please keep your kids far away from them.

if they want to reconnect, it’ll only have to be because they want to talk to you, not to your impressionable children. no need to tell your kids about this...

Nitanitapumpkineater − They still don't respect your choice or your marriage; you just have something that they want.

They abandoned you on your wedding day, so really they don't have grandchildren. They already made that choice.

They had five years to come to you and repair things. How in the hell did they allow five years to pass without reaching out to you?

! This shows exactly how much interest they had in genuinely wanting to repair things with you, their own child.

I bet they thought your marriage would fall apart, and you would come crawling back and they could smugly say "I told you so".

Since that didn't happen, and you have your own family, they want access specifically to your kids.

Unless they apologise for their behaviour, and have a very good reason for shunning you for five years,

you should block them right back and move on with your life.

You haven't needed them or their drama for the last five years. No need to start now.

[Reddit User] − They still don't respect your choice.

If they'd come to respect your choice at some point in the last 5 years, they'd have reached out already.

But no. They just want to get their hands on those juicy fresh grandchildren.

Don't fool yourself: they're gonna tell your kids just what they think of you and your marriage, as soon as the kids are old enough to talk.

They're going to inflict those same old poisonous opinions and attitudes on your kids.

This group recommended that the poster not allow the parents to meet the children without a sincere apology and acknowledgment of their past mistakes

blazingstar308 − You need to establish strong boundaries around your husband, children and marriage

and make it crystal clear what is acceptable behaviour from them and what is not.

Your parents need to agree to the terms before hand and understand that if they step over the boundaries,

you will enact consequences (whatever you decide those to be).

You hold all the cards here, not the other way around so make any interaction on your terms.

As for whether it’s been too long? Do you think they would’ve contacted you if they didn’t find out about your children?

Only you can answer that but from an outsider’s perspective it doesn’t bode well for a happy reunion.

They seem only interested in your children. Best of luck

cassowary32 − At first I was expecting to see a huge age gap or an affair or some taboo,

but they freaked out because you worked together before you started dating?

And only the existence of grandkids is what has them interested?

I wouldn't go any further without an abject apology for their behavior at the wedding and the last five years. Suggest family therapy.

They don't just get to waltz back in after what they did.

DefDemi − I can’t understand ghosting my own child even if I didn’t support their choices. Who the hell dumps their kid?

What if that child was abused and needed help? I come from a culture that family is very important.

I cannot fathom not talking to my child for 2 days never mind for five years. Tread carefully, your parents sound toxic and selfish.

These commenters sympathized with the poster, advising caution and stressing that the parents need to prove their commitment to rebuilding the relationship

Annual_One4004 − I was expecting an age gap. I mean you were his assistant and both early 20s.

It's not like he was 40 and the vp. I'd start slow and not involve the kids for at least a year of positive interaction with them

rickvans − Hey! Im sorry that this happened to You! You didnt deserve this! And your patents were very unreasonable in my opinion!

The blocking u everywhere is just insane to me! They Really didn't care about how that would make u feel!

And how would that effect you! To me that was very selfish and cruel!

Personally I would meet up with my parents Just to have a conversation(s) about everything.

Before I made any decisions regarding them meeting my kids of letting them in my life again!

And just see How that conversation or conversations go!

[Reddit User] − If they aren't willing to first have a relationship with you, their daughter they birthed and raised,

I wouldn't let them meet your kids. They never gave you a reason for cutting you off,

and they need to explain that, apologize, and prove they mean it.

You don't want them entering your kids' lives only to disappear again. They're being selfish.

You set whatever rules, not them. They need to prove themselves to you before they even get a chance at your kids.

AussieMom92 − Was your husband married at the time or something?

I’m confused as to why in the world they would be so opinionated and upset by you deciding to date your boss.

This is very controlling behavior over an ADULT child. Sounds like you’ve been just fine without them.

They’re the ones that chose to have children, then chose not to talk to you for FIVE YEARS. That’s not like a couple months.

FIVE YEARS. My dad didn’t want anything to do with me unless it made him look good.

He was mad he couldn’t walk me down the isle, because it made him look bad.

They’re probably upset that they look like bad parents because they didn’t even know about their grandchildren.

Have to get some cute pictures with them to post on their social media so that everyone can see how great they are.

It’s bull. I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s bull.

So, what’s the best course of action for this woman? Should she let her parents back in after five years, or protect her family from potential future heartache?

Many Redditors feel that it’s important to set boundaries with people who have proven to be emotionally unavailable. But ultimately, it’s a decision only the woman can make, as she balances the desire for family reconciliation with the need for stability and trust within her own home.

What would you do in her shoes? Should she give her parents another chance, or is it too little, too late? Share your thoughts below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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