A 40-year-old mom welcomed her pregnant 22-year-old daughter home after a crisis, expecting effort, only to get a couch-bound human sloth who sleeps until 4 p.m., binges Netflix at dawn, and hasn’t showered in days.
Chores, job applications, or basic movement trigger screaming fits of “You’re stressing the baby!” while the unborn grandkid’s due date looms. Mom’s one thriving child manages college and work just fine. This one treats pregnancy like a disability pension. Exhausted and done playing maid to a grown adult, she’s ready to set a move-out clock.
Fed-up mom refuses to raise pregnant daughter’s baby as Reddit suspects severe depression.
At first glance, Rita’s behavior screams “entitled 20-something who baby-trapped her way into free rent.” But peel back the dramatic tantrums and marathon couch sessions, and a darker picture emerges: days without showering, rejecting all responsibility, and collapsing into sobs at the mere mention of adulthood.
Mental health professionals would raise every red flag in the drawer. As Dr. Olivia Wedel told Psych Central, “It can truly feel too ‘heavy’ and just too much to exert effort to bathe, for example… It is an easier decision, most of the time, to simply stay on the couch or in bed than take care of personal hygiene.”
Rita isn’t just lazy, she’s drowning, and pregnancy hormones are about to turn the tide into a tsunami.
Maenpaa’s insight shines a light on the invisible weight of depression, where even brushing your teeth feels like wrestling a bear, it’s not a choice, but a symptom screaming for compassion over criticism.
For Rita, those skipped showers and endless naps aren’t rebellion; they’re the brain’s way of conserving what little energy remains in a storm of overwhelm. Recognizing this shifts the focus from “snap out of it” to “how can we lighten the load together?”
Postpartum depression already affects roughly 1 in 7 new mothers according to the American Psychological Association, and entering motherhood while already in crisis is like handing someone a parachute that’s on fire.
The mom’s frustration is valid, but shaming a depressed brain into action rarely works. Studies from the National Institute of Mental Health show that untreated prenatal depression dramatically raises risks for both mother and baby, including low birth weight and developmental delays.
The kindest and ironically toughest thing this mom can do? Stop debating chores and start booking appointments: OB-GYN for prenatal depression screening, therapist for the obvious meltdown, maybe even a psychiatrist if meds are needed.
Helping Rita access real support now (even driving her to the first appointment) could be the difference between a healthy grand-baby bonding with mom versus grandma raising another child.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Some assert the OP is NTA and must enforce tough love to force the daughter into responsibility or adoption.
![[Reddit User] − You need to be prepared to raise the baby by yourself. OR you could show her the door](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1763623737627-3.webp "Pregnant 22-Year-Old Refuses To Shower For Days And Collapses When Mom Demands She 'Grows Up'")
Some strongly believe the daughter is suffering from severe mental illness, likely depression, and needs urgent professional help.
Some recommend immediate mental health intervention while warning that moralizing or kicking her out could be dangerous.
This mom never signed up to raise her grandchild, yet she’s staring down a future where that might become reality if her daughter doesn’t get help fast. Was she harsh for laying down the “this baby is YOUR responsibility” law? Or was it the wake-up call a terrified 22-year-old desperately needs?
What do YOU think: should she keep the door open with strict house rules and mandatory therapy, or is it time for the ultimate tough-love eviction notice? Would you help your kid book the therapist, or hand them a 30-day notice instead? Drop your verdict below, we’re all ears!
