Pregnant Daughter Bans Father’s Current Wife From Ever Becoming Grandma To Her Baby

A pregnant woman, buzzing with joy over her firstborn, clashed fiercely with her estranged dad when he demanded grandparent status for his latest wife amid old betrayals. He’d abandoned the family years ago for another woman, shattered her mom, jumped into quick marriages and now exploded in rage, blaming his daughter for his failed relationships when she refused to let his spouses near her child.

She stood firm, allowing only cautious contact for him but crowning her supportive mom and mother-in-law as the true grandmas, shielding her new stable family from past chaos. Supporters rallied behind her, hailing the fierce protection of her little one’s peace over forced ties.

A pregnant woman refuses her father’s wives grandparent roles to protect her child from past family toxicity.

At its core, the pregnant Redditor is drawing a clear line: she’s open to cautious, limited grandpa time for her father, but his wives don’t get automatic entry into her child’s life as grandparents.

Her reasons stem from years of feeling sidelined. Her dad left when she was young, prioritized new relationships, and even tried manipulating her mom financially. One wife was rude upon meeting, and the current one shares views the Redditor finds extreme. When dad pushed for his wife to be “grandma,” he erupted in anger, blaming his daughter for ruining his marriages. Ouch, that’s a classic deflection that shifts focus from his choices.

From the dad’s perspective, he might genuinely believe he’s changed and deserves a fresh start, especially with a grandchild on the way. Pregnancy often sparks reconciliation attempts, as the promise of new life stirs hopes for mending old wounds.

Yet his outburst suggests old patterns linger: control, guilt-tripping, and refusing accountability. It’s understandable he’d feel hurt, but screaming and blaming an adult child for his relational failures? That’s more like pressure without true amends.

This story touches on broader family dynamics, like how infidelity and serial marriages ripple through generations, leaving kids wary of instability. Protecting a child from potential toxicity isn’t selfish, it’s instinctive. Many parents grapple with similar choices, weighing tradition against emotional safety.

Family estrangement isn’t rare. Karl Pillemer’s research in “Fault Lines” show around 27% of adults are estranged from at least one family member, often due to unresolved conflicts or mismatched values.

Another large-scale study found about one in four young adults estranged from a parent, with higher rates from fathers. These numbers highlight that while family bonds are idealized, real-life fractures happen more than we admit, especially when trust has been broken repeatedly.

Psychologist Becca Bland, founder of the nonprofit Stand Alone which supports estranged individuals, points out that society often pushes the idea that “it’s good for people to have a family at all costs,” when in reality, “it can be much healthier for people to have a life beyond their family relationships, and find a new sense of family with friends or peer groups.”

This perspective underscores the Redditor’s choice to prioritize her supportive circle over forced inclusion of potentially toxic ties.

Neutral advice? Start with clear, calm communication: “I want peace for our family, but these boundaries protect my child and me.” If met with rage, low or no contact might be healthiest.

Therapy can help process guilt, and support groups remind you’re not alone. Ultimately, prioritize relationships that nurture. OP’s supportive mom and in-laws sound like gold.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some people declare NTA and stress that the father’s outburst and blame-shifting prove he hasn’t truly changed.

Some people declare NTA and advise maintaining no contact to protect OP and the baby from toxicity.

Some people declare NTA while highlighting the father’s ongoing manipulation and lack of genuine remorse.

Some people declare NTA and assert that abusive people rarely change or only hide their true nature better.

This Redditor’s choice boils down to shielding her baby from the chaos she endured. Fair, especially with a dad who flips from “wanting amends” to full meltdown mode. It’s a reminder that “family” thrives on respect, not obligation.

Do you think her firm stance on the wives is spot-on protection, or could limited supervised contact bridge the gap? Would you let a grandpa with baggage near your little one, or go full guard-dog mode? Spill your thoughts, what’s the wildest family boundary you’ve set?