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Professor Refused to Show Understanding – So Her Student Gave Her a Lesson in Professionalism

by Charles Butler
October 7, 2025
in Social Issues

Life was already a whirlwind for a busy mom juggling a child with medical needs, a hectic household, and an intense college course.

For eight weeks, she nailed it, never missing a class, acing every assignment, and keeping her grades high. But when her kid fell ill right before a big quiz, she did what any parent would: she asked her professor for a small extension to catch her breath.

Instead of support, she got a cold slap of “real-world” logic. The professor offered no empathy, just a stern lecture about rules being rules.

Tired, frustrated, and fed up, the mom fired back with a sharp, honest message that laid bare her effort and struggles. Her words struck a nerve, sparking a campus-wide debate about respect, compassion, and what “professionalism” really means when life gets in the way.

Professor Refused to Show Understanding - So Her Student Gave Her a Lesson in Professionalism

A Mom’s Classroom Clash with a “Professional” Prof

AITA for taking a shot at my professor?

I’ve never done anything to my professor ever. In a 8 week course I’ve never missed a class once, and we meet multiple times a week.

Anyway I’m married and have a young son who has a medical issue. Basically let me explain the backstory first.

I do not have a good relationship with this professor in general and don’t care for her.

She doesn’t answer emails, answers a question with a question, isn’t helpful or understanding, hypocritical (you’ll see why in a minute).

I informed her a week ahead of time that I wouldn’t be attending class one day because no one is able to watch my son literally.

Usually my sister watches him or his grandparents. My sister had a doctors appointment that she can’t reschedule so she can’t.

I don’t trust him with not known to family babysitters, atleast not yet and would have to get used to it.

Basically, I don’t like this professor. There is supplementary material that she was supposed to upload to blackboard and hasnt done it for weeks and has broken her promise to...

Anyway, I was talking about missing class because I would assume their would be a quiz. I could get the notes from someone but can’t do the quiz in class...

She said too bad basically, and when I get in the real world I’ll have to be more professional. I tried to explain the situation, but to no avail.

She said I couldn’t bring my son (ok). I said I would take it in the testing center a few hours later and she said no, no, no. I have...

So I didn’t really care, class is about to end since the course is accelerated.

I said “yeah, I’m sure you know a ton about being a professional. Taking weeks to grade assignments, not answering emails,

breaking promises and going back on your word consistently, you’re the last person I’d want to get advice on being a professional from”

My husband said to be careful, she could be spiteful and mess with like my grade.

I mean, why is she giving me a lecture about being a professional when she’s demonstrated she’s the furthest thing from one herself?

When Empathy Gets Lost in the Lesson

This mom had been juggling so much that asking for one small favor felt justified. But the professor saw it differently, choosing policy over compassion.

The irony? Professors often preach about preparing students for the “real world,” yet the real world requires empathy, not indifference.

Instead of support, she got a lecture about “toughening up.” For a parent who’s barely sleeping, constantly giving, and still showing up to learn, those words cut deep.

That’s when frustration turned into defiance. Her fiery response, “You’re the last person I’d learn from,” wasn’t just anger, it was a boundary. She had reached her breaking point and refused to be talked down to anymore.

The Pressure Behind the Podium

It’s easy to paint the professor as the villain, but the truth is more complicated. Many educators today are stretched thin, balancing research, grading, and large class loads.

Some rely on strict rules because structure feels like control in an unpredictable job. But when that structure becomes rigid, it starts to alienate students who genuinely need understanding.

A 2023 Inside Higher Ed survey found that one in three college professors admit they’ve struggled to show flexibility since the pandemic, even though student stress levels have reached record highs.

The result? Misunderstandings like this one, where compassion gets lost under piles of policy.

Expert Opinion: The Right Way to Teach “The Real World”

Dr. Maryellen Weimer, author of Learner-Centered Teaching, explains that “rigid teaching rarely builds resilience, it builds resentment.”

In her view, real professionalism means recognizing that students are people first. “When instructors listen before lecturing, they create trust. When they punish instead of helping, they create silence.”

Her insight sheds light on why this mom’s outburst resonated with so many. She didn’t want a free pass, she wanted fairness.

A short delay on a quiz wouldn’t hurt anyone, but the refusal to acknowledge her situation did.

Respect goes both ways, and students remember the teachers who treat them with dignity far longer than the ones who quote policies word for word.

Lessons for Both Sides

There’s something to learn for everyone here. For students, it’s a reminder to speak up when you’re being dismissed. Respect doesn’t mean silence.

For professors, it’s about remembering that learning doesn’t happen in perfect conditions. Life doesn’t stop for lectures, and compassion costs nothing.

Academic success should never come at the expense of human understanding.

A flexible teacher can change a student’s life, while a rigid one can make them question their worth. Sometimes, the most valuable lesson isn’t in the textbook, it’s in how we treat each other.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some sided with the mom, saying she was right to stand her ground.

[Reddit User] − NTA and the teacher is the a__hole for not understanding. But yeah be careful cause she can affect your grade.

virginiarph − THere has to be a backstory. Most professors of lower levels college classes literally do not give a s__t as long as you have some sort of legitimate...

Sassyza − ESH - Because she was such an a__hole, you should have been the professional. I suggest you go to the dean of the department and seek advice.

disneybee − INFO: and has broken her promise to me multiple times. What are you referring to here?

The supplementary materials, or something else? Further, how exactly did you approach your professor? What was your tone? And when you say.

I said I would take it in the testing center a few hours later Did you ask if you could do this, or did you tell her you would do...

It's an important distinction. EDIT: It seems like the judgments have been tallied, but fwiw, at best, this is ESH.

Others believed the professor had a point about consistency, arguing that exceptions can’t be made for everyone. But most agreed on one thing: a little empathy would have gone a long way.

corezon − YTA. This is college. Professors are not obligated to tailor the experience to your personal life.

While I understand that kids can throw a monkey wrench in the best laid plans, that is not on her. Quite honestly, your expectation that she bend the rules to...

miladyelle − INFO: what does the syllabus say about attendance and make up work? Sorry, but most syllabi cover these things.

There’s an attitude dripping throughout your post, “basically” you don’t like your professor, you’ve “never” done anything to her,

but you “told” her you would be making up the quiz. You absolutely sure you “haven’t done anything”?

oliverjbrown − ESH. Check your syllabus for missed classes and tests. If she has a policy of no make ups, no amount of arguing is going to benefit you.

If nothing is in the syllabus then contact the head of the department to find out the general policy for make up exams and assignments.

[Reddit User] − YTA - you sound entitled. Most schools have attendance policies and lack of interest in hiring a babysitter is not an excused absence lol.

She sounds difficult too but yeah, you’re the problem here.

Many also shared their own college memories – strict professors who refused to budge, and compassionate ones who changed everything with a single kind gesture. The consensus? The best teachers remember that education isn’t just about rules; it’s about relationships.

ohwrite − INFO: is there backstory? Profs are usually understanding unless fucked with incessantly.

iBeFloe − ESH you’re still an a__hole for disrespecting your professor IMO. Kids aren’t allowed in lecture halls in the first place anyways.

On rare occasion as you’ll meet professions who will allow it as a one time thing, but it’s still not generally accepted.

Just saying. You assumed she’d let you take the quiz by stating you’d take it at another time.

That was a huge mistake assuming a professor would obviously put aside their time because you missed a quiz. If you miss a quiz, too bad.

Contrary to what others are saying, professors don’t have to compromise for one student. If they refuse to, then they can refuse to.

You also have no idea how many classes she’s teaching or if she has another job with this one that might be causing her delays.

You’ll meet many more professors who grade assignments late in college though. Welcome to college? But she should still be more on top of her work regardless, I’m not defending...

I also have absolutely no idea what being professional has to do with missing class because of your kid. That’s mainly why I’m saying she sucks too because I don’t...

The Final Grade

The mom’s reaction wasn’t about rebellion; it was about respect. She wasn’t trying to break the rules, only to remind someone that real professionalism means understanding, not control.

In the end, the situation left both sides with a lesson to learn. For students, it’s courage in the face of condescension.

For teachers, it’s remembering that empathy educates better than ego ever will. The real world isn’t built on strict rules, it’s built on understanding, and sometimes, that’s the most important lesson of all.

 

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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