School Coordinator Gaslights Disabled Teen After She Complains About Harassment

A high school program designed to support struggling students turned into a nightmare for one 16-year-old. She relies on a cane or a walker due to a debilitating autoimmune condition.

She was repeatedly paired with the only other physically disabled student in the class, a 17-year-old boy with Down Syndrome named Daniel. Daniel, however, harassed her by stealing her mobility aids.

When she reported the abuse, the coordinator, Brenda, dismissed her concerns, claiming the boy was “incapable” of cruelty. Now, the teen is refusing to participate, asking if she’s the one who is prejudiced.

Now, read the full story:

The audacity of “Brenda” to dismiss a student reporting harassment, especially when that harassment directly interferes with her physical safety, is stunning. This story isn’t about prejudice; it’s about a coordinator failing to protect her students.

OP’s experience highlights a harmful myth—the idea that people with intellectual or developmental disabilities (IDD) are inherently innocent or angelic. This myth, often called “inspiration porn” or the “eternal child” trope, is deeply dehumanizing.

It allows abusers like Brenda to dismiss genuine concerns about behavior, leading to a profound safety issue for the victim, OP. She is right to prioritize her safety and mobility over Brenda’s ignorant notions of saintly behavior.

Coordinator Brenda is operating under a stereotype that is not only false but actively harmful. People with Down Syndrome are human beings, and like all humans, they are capable of experiencing and expressing a full range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and malice.

The concept that people with IDD are incapable of aggressive or mean behavior is a form of benevolent ableism. It strips them of their agency and denies their personhood. When staff buy into this myth, they often ignore, minimize, or gaslight victims who report abuse, as Brenda is doing to OP.

This issue is widespread. According to a 2021 review published in the Journal of Mental Health Research in Intellectual Disabilities, challenging behaviors, including aggression and physical harm to others, are observed in 10-15% of the population with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD).  

Furthermore, the specific act of taking OP’s cane is not just rude; it is a direct attack on her health and safety. Mobility aids are considered medical devices. Interfering with a disabled person’s medical device is a serious matter.

As disability advocate Alice Wong noted in an article for Healthline, disabled people have the right to feel safe, and “using a person’s mobility aid as a joke is a form of harassment and violates basic respect.” OP is not being prejudiced; she is protecting herself from harassment and the gross negligence of a school employee.

Check out how the community responded:

The entire community was firmly NTA, focusing their judgment on the coordinator, Brenda, for her dangerous ableism and negligence.

Users emphasized that the coordinator was gaslighting OP by prioritizing a false stereotype over a real safety risk.

Several commenters warned OP that this harassment is a physical threat and advised her to involve her parents and school administration immediately.

One comment shared a disturbing, similar personal experience, highlighting how often harmful behavior is excused by staff when the perpetrator has IDD.

OP’s instinct to protect herself is correct. She is not prejudiced; she is reacting to harassment. Brenda’s insistence on perpetuating an ableist stereotype has created a dangerous environment for a vulnerable student. OP needs to escalate this immediately, involving her parents to ensure her safety and mobility aids are respected.

What should OP’s first step be to get this coordinator removed from her class? Should she immediately involve the police, or go straight to the principal?