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School Tried To Force 13-Year-Old With Cerebral Palsy Into After-School Detention Over PE, Mom Stepped In To Protect Her From Harm

by Annie Nguyen
November 9, 2025
in Social Issues

Schools craft rules to teach accountability, yet they sometimes forget the students who need protection more than punishment. One mother received a midday call about her daughter’s sharp words to a substitute teacher, words born from a demand that ignored medical reality.

The original poster’s thirteen-year-old has cerebral palsy and an IEP that details her limits, limits the sub dismissed until profanity filled the gym. When the principal insisted on same-day detention despite bus and safety issues, the mother drew a line. Read on to find out how lunch detentions replaced the risky plan.

One mother rejected her disabled daughter’s after-school detention for swearing at a PE substitute who ignored her IEP and pushed a dangerous activity, prioritizing safety over the school’s bus logistics

School Tried To Force 13-Year-Old With Cerebral Palsy Into After-School Detention Over PE, Mom Stepped In To Protect Her From Harm
Not the actual photo

AITA for refusing to let my daughter do an after school detention and threatening to pick her up?

My daughter Amanda (F13) has Cerebral Palsy. She is able to walk independently but

cannot walk for long periods of time and cannot walk on anything other

than even ground without assistance (i.e stairs have to have rails, can't walk

on rocks/sand/etc). She has an IEP for this, that states what she

can and cannot do in PE, excursions, etc. It's relevant to note that

Amanda catches the bus home, but can only catch a specific route

as the other route the school offers drops her off at a road about a mile away that has no footpath.

I got a call at work at 11am today telling me that Amanda

had spoken quite rudely to a substitute PE (gym) teacher who tried to

make her climb the rock wall that her school has. Apparently Amanda did

say "I can't, I have Cerebral Palsy and I have an IEP" but when

another child said "Yeah! Same here!" the teacher didn't believe her and became

insistent, standing over her so Amanda told him to "f__k off" and

wouldn't repeat anything but "f__k off" until she was sent to the office.

It is in the handbook that this type of offence is a same

day after school detention. But when the Principal called me I said "absolutely

not". I told them that they were welcome to do a weeks worth

of lunch detentions, or even schedule it so that I can change my

work schedule, but absolutely not this afternoon. My husband is away for

work, I have to work until 6pm and I need Amanda to be

on her regular bus because I have nobody who can drop her

off home at 4:30 when detention finishes. They told me about the "late"

bus and I reminded them why Amanda couldn't take that bus and

was told "well, sounds like a natural consequence to me". This isn't your

average kid refusing to do something, being rude and deserving a long

walk home as well as detention. This is a kid that could

be seriously harmed if she was made to walk that far and on that road.

The Principal told me that I was "making excuses" and that Amanda needed

to face consequences and I didn't technically need to give permission, they

were making me aware. I agree that Amanda needs to face consequences for

her language (which are that ~~she's grounded for the weekend~~, and has to

serve any lunch detention the school gives her and apologising to the

teacher for specifically her language, nothing else), but putting her

in danger is NOT right and that if they were insistent on

this, I was insistent on taking my lunch break right now

to drive over and pull her out for the rest of the day. AITA?

We all want our children to learn accountability, yet there is a line where enforcing rules becomes harmful rather than educational. In this story, the parent faces that tension: balancing the need for discipline with the very real physical limitations of a child with Cerebral Palsy.

The emotional core is one of protective instinct, ensuring that consequences do not translate into actual danger, while simultaneously teaching responsibility and respect.

The parents’ concern reflects both fear for their daughter’s safety and a desire to model appropriate ways to navigate authority.

Psychologically, the dynamics revolve around autonomy, advocacy, and fairness. Amanda’s response, using firm language when confronted by a substitute teacher insisting she climb a rock wall, is not rebellion in the usual sense but a direct assertion of her rights and physical boundaries.

The school’s insistence on the after-school detention, despite the impossibility of safe transportation and her physical limitations, introduces stress, confusion, and a sense of injustice.

This situation also places Amanda in the dual role of being responsible for her safety and simultaneously being held accountable for speaking out, which can be emotionally taxing for any adolescent, but especially for a child managing a disability.

Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, professor of psychology at UC Berkeley, emphasizes that children with disabilities often encounter environments that underestimate their capacity for self-advocacy while overestimating their vulnerability.

When children assert themselves to protect their well-being, adults may misinterpret their behavior as defiance, rather than appropriate self-protection.

This insight illuminates why Amanda’s strong language should be interpreted as an adaptive, courageous response rather than a moral failing.

Her parents’ insistence on alternative disciplinary measures, lunch detentions instead of after-school punishments, reflects a reasoned, empathetic approach that balances accountability with safety.

By understanding the interplay of disability, advocacy, and parental protection, we see that the parents’ stance is both rational and ethically grounded.

Amanda’s right to a safe environment was the priority, and ensuring that discipline did not endanger her preserves trust, dignity, and her capacity to engage with authority in the future.

This story invites reflection: how can institutions ensure consequences teach lessons without compromising safety, especially for children with disabilities?

How do parents and educators navigate the tension between accountability and protection? Considering these questions helps us evaluate fairness, empathy, and empowerment in challenging situations.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors praised the daughter’s self-advocacy and urged no punishment for her, calling the language justified

CatteHerder − AMANDA, I NEED YOU TO KNOW HOW PROUD OF YOU I AM -

Fellow disabled person on the internet who has had me share of ableist

abuse and refuses to take it. Your child was absolutely not in his

wrong for standing up to an adult male authority figure who was using

physically threatening posturing to force compliance.

. AFTER he ignored his LEGAL OBLIGATION TO UPHOLD HER MEDICALLY NECESSARY ACCOMMODATIONS.

This teacher is the one who needs disciplined. He is unfit to perform

the duties of his job. Your child was forced to act as

an adult advocate when she was stripped of her right to accommodations.

She stood up to physically aggressive posturing and verbal threats.

She first made her medical accommodation needs clear, and he ignored her.

Then he escalated. And he continued to escalate the situation. WHY IN

THE F__K DID THE SCHOOL NOT PROVIDE HIM WITH THE CLASS ROSTER

SO HE WOULD ALREADY HAVE THE INFORMATION NEEDED TO PERFORM THE DUTIES OF HIS JOB?

PM_ME_BEEF_CURTAINS − YTA Not because you're stopping your kid from having after school

detentions, but because you're punishing your kid for advocating for herself in

the face of a bully. Having had a very similar situation with

my own kid (the teacher took umbrage at his cancer), ice cream is a more appropriate response.

Whatthehonker − INFO Why exactly are you on board to punish her for

her COMPLETELY RATIONAL response? She answered politely. Then firmly. Then went the

route that got attention because attention was needed. You punished your kid

for doing what's right? She will always remember you won't have her back.

zachlemoore − NTA: Additionally, I would say your daughter was NTA for her

response to the sub. Yes, she could have chosen better language but

from your description it sounds like your daughter tried to stand her

ground and assert that, medically, she couldn't do what's being asked of

her and the sub got their ego bruised when another kid decided to chime in.

These users demanded escalating to the school board over IEP ignorance and unsafe consequences

[Reddit User] − NTA. Holy s__t, the PE teacher needs to face consequences

for THEIR behavior. I would not be talking to the principal about

this because said principal seems incompetent. I would be calling the SCHOOL

BOARD and reporting everyone and their mother for this behavior.

Deucalion666 − NTA but I'd take this higher up, because them thinking that

it's adequate punishment to make a disabled child walk home that distance

when they physically can't is appalling. Contact the school boards, and your local newspaper.

ColdstreamCapple − NTA The fact the PE teacher didn't believe her because some

other smart Alec kid piped up would be more my concern Knowing

the history and knowing what happened and yet the principal still defends the teacher? I'd be taking this further.

ThisIsMyFatLogicAlt − NTA. Schools are legally bound to follow IEPs etc., it's

not an AH move to enforce that. If it's already on file

that they must send her home on that bus and no other,

then they don't have the option to simply shrug and claim that

not following the IEP is part of her punishment.

These commenters faulted the school for not briefing subs on medical needs

DiamondHeist1970 − NTA. My main concern is why this teacher didn't know what

al the kids medical histories are. There must be something in the

office stating (with a list of students names) of who can't do

what. And this is coming from a parent whose child is autistic

and epileptic. All staff members knew his story at both schools he went to.

naraic- − I'd be blocking the detention and telling the principal that he

needs to apologise to your daughter for not properly briefing the substitute on requirements. Your nta here.

These Redditors shared personal disability punishment stories, supporting the mom fiercely

beccalafrog − A couple years back i was given an after school detention

because. ..i displayed a symptom of my disability. I stimmed at an "inappropriate

time", despite the fact the school knew i had autism and fun

fact, most people are going to get a tad distressed during a lockdown drill. THAT TEACHER WAS FIRED.

Basic-Escape-4824 − My daughter has a disease in her left foot. It is

controlled and we have managed to get 85% of growth back in

a particular bone through lots of casting and therapy. The treatment resulted

in muscular atrophy, a couple of other conditions, orthotics for life and

a limp when she gets tired. The school were incredibly supportive and

nurturing. That is until the PE teacher gave her a detention and

punished her by making her run laps of the school fields. I

had a distraught, exhausted child in immense pain who could not walk for days. Mama Tiger was released. NTA.

VariousGuarantee9821 − YTA the teacher deserved it. Would you rather she tried

to do as she was asked and got hurt?

Puellafortis − NTA. Maybe the IEP can also be modified to have her

excused from PE? It seems that a lot of activities could come

up that aren't safe for her unless done at her own speed.

Ultimately, the school swapped for two lunch detentions, and mom lifted her grounding with an apology, validating her daughter’s stand while modeling grace. It underscores how IEPs aren’t suggestions but lifelines.

Do you think the sub’s doubt warrants firing, or just better training? Ever clashed with schools over accommodations? Spill your advocacy wins below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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