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“She Hates My Ethnicity”: A Model Fights Back Against Her Partner’s Prejudiced Mom

by Believe Johnson
December 22, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all heard jokes about difficult in-laws, but usually, those stories end with an awkward holiday dinner or a passive-aggressive text message. Rarely do they involve police welfare checks or voided insurance policies. Finding a balance between respecting our elders and protecting our own peace is a tightrope walk that many couples face.

A young woman recently opened up about a decade-long struggle with her boyfriend’s mother that has escalated into dangerous territory. While she is trying to nurse her partner back to health after a serious accident, she is also fending off what sounds like a relentless campaign of harassment. It raises a very tough question: when does standing up for yourself mean taking legal action against family? Let’s explore this complicated story.

To understand the weight of this decision, we have to look at the history here. For eleven years, this young woman has faced criticism regarding her career, her education, and even her heritage. It is a long time to endure that kind of negativity.

The Story:

“She Hates My Ethnicity”: A Model Fights Back Against Her Partner’s Prejudiced Mom
Not the actual photo

WIBTA If I sued my boyfriend’s elderly mother and pressed charges against her?

Okay, I know how this sounds. Please hear me out at least. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 11 years, since I was 15.

His mother has HATED me since the first day she met me. She hated me due to my ethnicity, (Kosovan Albanian)

she hated me due to my career, I work as a model and she decided that makes me an empty headed, vain, shallow person.

Then when I told her I still planned to go to university alongside my career she said I was doing it to “impress” my boyfriend.

I’ve since left uni with a distinction and her new reason to hate me is… I try too hard? She has also insisted

I’ve cheated on him throughout our entire relationship which is a ridiculous claim, I’ve never even kissed another man in my whole LIFE.

I have zero desire to cheat and never will. Late last year she attempted to void the insurance on my boyfriend’s motorbikes,

she tried to do this under my name so, hypothetically, when he was arrested for riding with no insurance and called his insurance company, I’d get the blame.

After this happened my boyfriend and I agreed to cut her out, however it hasn’t stuck, she left my boyfriend alone

and respected his wishes for NC but she’s continued to contact and harass me. This leads to the last few weeks,

my boyfriend works as a motorcycle test rider and he got in an awful motorbike crash while working, as such I now need to care for him.

I’m okay with that and I’m focusing on seeing it as an opportunity for us to get closer, it’s been nice honestly.

However his mother has been AWFUL to me. She’s called me litany of terms. From things as tame as stupid to things as awful as a “N__ty Serbian half breed.”

I’m not Serbian and she’s well aware that calling a Kosovan a Serb is offensive. I tried to block her so she started making new iMessage accounts

and began to continuously harass me via those accounts. Then came Friday night. The police turned up at our door.

I was pretty confused and was quickly told they were there to do a welfare check as they’d received “multiple” claims of horrific abuse

I was apparently putting my poor boyfriend under. Obviously they quickly discovered he was fine, albeit grumpy and they left.

I know for a fact it was his mother, some of the details the police mentioned made that obvious.

I’m now at a point where I’ve realised I literally cannot do this. I’m going to press charges against her for the insurance and harassment

(it’s a crime in the UK) and I’m likely going to sue her for damages, for the sake of my mental health I need to do this.

I don’t want to be a victim and she needs to be forced to stop. I have mentioned my intentions to her if she doesn’t

back off and she’s pretty much mocking me and saying I won’t. I absolutely will. I just feel like this morally may make me an awful person.

She sucks, I know this, however she’s old and miserable enough as is and I feel like doing this may ruin whatever small amount of life

she has left. It feels like it may be too far. I really don’t know though and I genuinely cannot be objective here.. WIBTA here if I did this?

Edit: When I say I need to care for my boyfriend, I mean he’s essentially immobile,

he’s not being unsupportive, he’s just barely able to take care of himself, let alone battle his mother too.

Oh, this is just so incredibly heavy for one person to carry. It is heartbreaking to read that someone who has dedicated over a decade to a relationship—and is currently caring for an injured partner—is being treated with such hostility. It really highlights how painful it is when prejudice and judgment blind a parent to the happiness of their own child.

You can really feel the writer’s exhaustion. She is trying to be a caregiver and a partner, all while fending off attacks that feel very personal and relentless. It makes perfect sense that she feels the need to use the law as a shield. Sometimes, saying “no” isn’t enough, and we have to look for stronger ways to say “stop.”

Expert Opinion

When family conflict escalates to the point of police involvement and sabotage, psychologists often look at high-conflict personality traits. In this story, the mother’s behavior, ignoring boundaries, making false accusations, and targeting the girlfriend’s identity, suggests a deep struggle with control.

Experts in family dynamics often refer to this escalation as an “extinction burst.” When a boundary is finally set (like the couple going no contact), the person who is used to having control might act out even more intensely to try and get a reaction.

A study in Psychology Today explains that toxic parents often view their children as extensions of themselves, making any independent choice, like choosing a partner they disapprove of—feel like a personal betrayal.

In the UK, where this story takes place, the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 is designed to help people in exactly this situation. Harassment is defined as behavior that causes alarm or distress, which certainly seems to be the case here.

Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic In-Laws, notes that “toxic parents are not known for their willingness to change.” Sometimes, an external authority, like the legal system, is the only force strong enough to re-establish safety.

While suing an elderly person feels harsh to a kind heart, protecting one’s mental health is a necessity, not a cruelty. It is about creating a safe space where the couple can heal without fear of the next attack.

Community Opinions

The Reddit community stepped in with a lot of protective energy. While they sympathized with the difficulty of the situation, almost everyone agreed that the behavior described was dangerous and needed to be stopped legally.

Support for Legal Action: Most readers felt that a restraining order or legal intervention was completely justified given the danger.

UnfixedConch − NTA- his mother is abusive and becoming a danger to you and your boyfriend.

You need to cut her out entirely and take some legal action... But this woman is a r__ist, vile, sickening lady.

mongrelgoddess − NTA. This is getting dangerous. Maybe a restraining order?

heavenhelpyou − NTA. You're well within your rights to do this and... I feel like she won't ever stop until she is made to stop.

You've given her fair warning, if she didn't take you seriously it's her problem.

The Role of the Boyfriend: Several people emphasized that the boyfriend needs to be a unified front with his partner, even if he is injured.

[Reddit User] − I would be pissed at my SO if they didn't defend me in this situation.

Honestly, if things are as bad as you say I would go NC and ask thag my partner do the same... your boyfriend needs to step up.

HereFishyFishy4444 − NTA But you don't need reddit on your team, it's your bf you need to agree with on this...

But at the same time, if he isn't 100% sticking up for you now (maybe minus the suing his mom), Idk if you should be in this relationship.

Tough-Macaroon4065 − NTA but personally i would get everything organized before filing...

Waiting till he is better and involving him in your decision is probably the best thing you can do for you relationship.

Reality Checks on UK Law: Some users offered practical advice on how the legal system actually works in the UK regarding harassment and damages.

[Reddit User] − NTA but given this is the UK there are a few things that don't add up... You cannot change insurance details without being the insured person...

You don't get restraining orders in the UK. You can get an injunction... You can't press charges in the UK.

tiacalypso − NTA but do discuss it with your boyfriend first. In my country, this would be slander and libel laws would apply.

PerkyLurkey − NTA absolutely you should sue. Her behavior has been enabled for far too long.

The courts will make her stop, since she doesn’t have the ability to behave on her own.

Document Everything: The community reminded her that keeping evidence is the most important part of her plan.

merlady94 − NTA- Her age doesn't excuse her behavior, you have a right to defend yourself...

Make sure you are documenting all the evidence you can, and have an open conversation with your boyfriend about your plans.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you are ever in a position where a family member is making you feel unsafe, it is so important to remember that your well-being matters just as much as theirs. Empathy is a beautiful trait, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own safety.

Start by keeping a calm, detailed log of everything that happens—every text, every call, and every incident. This isn’t about being petty; it’s about clarity. When you seek help from a solicitor or the police, having the facts written down makes it much easier for them to help you. It is also really helpful to seek support from a counselor who specializes in high-conflict family dynamics. They can help you feel steady when things feel shaky.

Conclusion

This story is a powerful reminder that boundaries are not just lines in the sand; sometimes, they are walls we have to build to keep the storm out. The writer is showing incredible strength by standing up for her dignity and her relationship.

What do you think? Is legal action the only way to stop this kind of harassment, or is there another path? We would love to hear how you handle the tricky moments with family.

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson

Believe Johnson - a dedicated full-time writer specializing in entertainment and news writing. Her experience in various jobs related to movies and TV show news enhances her understanding of the industry, making her an indispensable team member.

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