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She Wanted More Work-From-Home Days for Her Kids – Now She’s Never Online. AITA for Calling Her Out?

by Sunny Nguyen
October 27, 2025
in Social Issues

Sarah, a senior team member and mom of two, asked her boss for more remote days. The team’s schedule was already set: four days in the office, one from home. But after a few emotional talks and promises that her work wouldn’t slip, the boss agreed to let her work from home three days a week.

At first, everything seemed fine – until the “away” and “offline” signs started popping up next to Sarah’s name. Hours would pass with no response on Skype. Clients were asking where she was. One even thought she was on vacation.

When the boss finally checked in, asking gently about her availability, the calm talk turned tense fast. Sarah snapped, saying, “As long as my work gets done, who cares?” Then she went to her teammates, calling her boss “a dinosaur.” What began as a small question about accountability suddenly became a full-on remote-work drama.

She Wanted More Work-From-Home Days for Her Kids - Now She’s Never Online. AITA for Calling Her Out?
Not the actual photo

WFH ‘Away’ for Hours? Boss Asks Why and Sparks Team Drama

AITA for asking my team member where she was when I noticed her "away"/"offline" status while she was WFH?

My team at work does 4 days WFO and 1 day WFH. This is because we have sensitive physical (paper) files to work with as part of our work, so...

One of my team members, Sarah, had appealed to do 2 days WFO and 3 days WFH instead, on the basis that she has 2 kids to look after.

Although other team members also have kids and Sarah had no problem coming in 5 days a week before the pandemic,

I relented to the request after she became upset / accused me of being inflexible /started crying in my office.

(And also checking with the rest of my team to make sure they were ok with it.)

I've noticed of late that when Sarah is WFH, she has a tendency to go "offline" or "away" on Skype during office hours.

She is usually "offline" or "away" for more than an hour each time. Yesterday,

I finally asked her about it, and told her that other people (internal clients and external stakeholders)

have come to me for work matters she's handling because they could not locate her.

One external stakeholder even told me that Sarah was on leave; when I clarified that Sarah was not on leave, the stakeholder was bewildered

("but she's been offline the whole morning"). Sarah was defensive, and sarcastically apologised for "not being there to reply to messages immediately".

She then added that as long as she got her work done, it didn't matter when she was online or offline.

I told her she didn't have to be online for the entire 9 am to 6 pm duration, but minimally from 10 am to 5 pm

(with a break for lunch), so that (a) people can reach her if they need to and (b) other team members don't notice

and start following her example, particularly since Sarah is senior to the others.

Sarah was unhappy and since then I've come to be aware that she has been saying things about me to the rest of the team,

including how I am a "dinosaur" still working according to former working norms. So, AITA?

EDIT: The entire division, including Sarah, reports to me. Sarah is salaried, not hourly.

Sarah's work is affected by her behaviour because part of her job is being available to internal clients and where applicable, external stakeholders.

External stakeholders can see whether Sarah is online or offline because we are all linked in a single public Skype network

comprising related agencies, organisations, companies and Ministries.

Separately, Sarah's conduct affects me and other team members, since we have to respond to queries meant for Sarah (particularly where they are urgent).

It also reflects badly on the division as a whole when Sarah is unreachable.

When Flexibility Turns into Frustration

The team worked in a busy client-facing environment that relied on quick replies and availability. Everyone’s Skype status was visible to clients, partners, and other departments. So when Sarah’s profile showed “away” for long stretches, people noticed.

At first, the boss assumed it was just a tech glitch. Maybe Sarah stepped away for lunch or was in deep focus. But after several clients messaged asking where she was, and one even thought she’d taken leave, the boss realized it was becoming a problem.

So during their next one-on-one, the boss raised it calmly. “Hey, I just wanted to check in about your availability,” they said. “Could you try to stay active online between 10 and 5? It’s important for client visibility.”

Sarah didn’t take it well.

The Blow-Up

Instead of seeing it as a small reminder, Sarah took it as an insult. “So now you’re tracking me?” she snapped. “I’m a senior employee. I shouldn’t have to explain bathroom breaks or school runs. I get my work done, don’t I?”

The boss tried to explain that it wasn’t about micromanaging. It was about keeping clients confident that the team was reliable and reachable. But the conversation ended awkwardly.

A few hours later, Sarah was venting to her teammates, saying her boss was “stuck in the 90s” and “didn’t understand modern work culture.”

Before long, the whole team was whispering about it. Some agreed with Sarah, saying everyone should manage their own time. Others sided with the boss, pointing out that Sarah’s role was client-facing, and disappearing for hours made the whole team look bad.

The Real Issue Behind the Drama

The truth is, both sides had valid points. Remote work does blur the lines between personal time and visibility. And Skype doesn’t always show the full picture, sometimes, people are working offline or using other tools.

But in Sarah’s case, her “away” times weren’t just a few minutes. She’d sometimes vanish for an hour or more, right when clients needed her. That created confusion and pressure for others to step in.

Studies show this kind of misunderstanding is common. A 2023 Gallup report found that 60% of hybrid workers expect clear “core hours” for communication. Without them, trust and teamwork can start to crumble.

HR expert Amy Gallo from Harvard Business Review explains, “Flexibility doesn’t mean invisibility. In client-facing roles, communication is everything.”

The Fallout

After Sarah’s outburst, the boss had to step back and think. They didn’t want to make the team feel watched, but they couldn’t ignore client concerns either. So they sent a polite message to everyone:

“Just a quick reminder – please try to stay active and reachable during core hours, especially when working remotely. It helps clients feel supported.”

It wasn’t harsh or targeted, but Sarah saw it as a personal attack. She sent a few sharp comments in the team chat and even hinted she might start looking for another job.

Meanwhile, her coworkers felt caught in the middle. One said quietly, “I get where she’s coming from, but she’s making it hard for all of us.”

The Bigger Picture

This story hits close to home for many teams balancing hybrid work.

Managers are learning how to build trust from a distance, while employees are trying to keep their freedom without losing connection. It’s a tricky balance,especially when technology makes it easy to misread someone’s absence as laziness or neglect.

The boss didn’t want control. They just wanted clarity. Sarah didn’t want to be watched, she just wanted understanding. But when both sides stopped listening, frustration took over.

See what others had to share with OP:

Some readers sided with the boss, saying being “away” for hours during client time was unprofessional. 

deny_pentagram − NTA. If part of the job is being reachable for colleagues, she needs to be reachable for colleagues.

LouisV25 − NTA. Employees are evaluated on more than work product.

There’s teamwork, reliability, engagement, etc. Further, business hours do not change because you WFH.

Sarah’s lack of accessible denotes her failure at teamwork and engagement.

People that think like she does are going to be sorely disappointed (outright pissed),

when they do not get a “bonus” or promotion, or lateral move to a different position.

If your coworkers and clients cannot access you during business hours you’re failing at your position.

cabinetsnotnow − NTA I understand that she has childcare issues but you're not paying her to take care of her kids during her work hours.

You're paying her to do her job. It sounds like she's distracted at home and needs to be switched to only one day WFH like everyone else.

Others backed Sarah, claiming managers need to focus on results, not green dots on a screen. 

[Reddit User] − INFO: does the nature of the job actually require people to always reply to messages instantaneously?

What are the consequences if they don’t? Also, how many times a day is she going ‘away’?

ShortPeak4860 − From your post history it seems you’re a male lawyer who has taken issue with this particular employee’s choice

(80 days ago you asked the community if you were an AH for questioning her schedule request),

and while I would vote NTA for today’s post, your post history makes me question

how forthcoming you are with information and how you overall deal with interactions and conflict.

ConCaffeinate − INFO: Is she actually unreachable during all of these times, or is her status simply "away"/"offline"?

I don't know if this is the case with Skype, but Microsoft Teams has a tendency to switch my status to "away" if I don't move my mouse for more...

So if I go to the bathroom, it often sets my status to "away," and I don't always notice immediately when I get back to my desk. Just a possibility.

CawSoHard − External stakeholders can see whether Sarah is online or offline because we are all linked in a single public Skype network

comprising related agencies, organisations, companies and Ministries. This is horrific

Most agreed the story reflected a growing workplace tension – freedom versus accountability.

[Reddit User] − NTA the bare minimum requirement for work is being there. If she isn’t around during work hours that

she agreed to work when she signed her employment contract, then this is highly problematic

JetItTogether − ESH: As a salaried employee micromanaging when she's listed on a single app as offline or online is weird AF.

Urgent matters are typically response in 24 hours. Work emergencies within 4 hours. If it's a real emergency ya all should be calling 911 or the equivalent.

How many urgencies or emergencies do you think people are having in a single day?

And why in the world are there so many urgent and emergency matters? Are you all in customer service?

This sounds like either sales or customer service where ya all have some inhuman standards of 'answer me right now or something is wrong and I'm throwing a fit'.

Which makes ya all a really high maintenance work place that better be paying a high maintainance workplace salary.

She's not wrong. As long as she's getting her work done ya all are freaking out about some weird stuff

and expecting her to behave like she's an on call receptionist rather than a senior anything doing things other than answering a message immediately.

The frequency of these dips offline might be an issue but if it's for an hour at a time I'm not sure it's that big a deal.

An hour could be completing complex paperwork or a task without interruption. You've now given her online mandatory hours.

So yeah she now needs to be listed as online during those hours.

But no I'm not shocked that she might grumble about it. And if she doesn't show up for those hours than yes she is an AH.

clutteredshovel − NTA. If she wants to step away, she needs to get notifications on her phone so she can timely respond.

If she is affecting clients or other public facing people by being unavailable, that’s a problem.

But I will say, what someone could do before the pandemic and during/after in relation to children has significantly changed. Childcare options are just not the same.

In the end, Sarah’s boss tried to balance empathy and structure, but one misunderstood message turned it into a battle over boundaries.

The lesson? Work-from-home success depends on clear communication and shared expectations. You can have flexibility and still be dependable.

Maybe the real fix isn’t stricter rules or constant monitoring. It’s just having honest conversations about what “available” really means.

Would you side with Sarah’s freedom or the boss’s structure? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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