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Sibling Says No To Illegal Favor, Parents Call Him A Square And Consider Charging Rent

by Annie Nguyen
November 24, 2025
in Social Issues

Family dynamics can get strange fast, especially when the people who raised you suddenly expect you to ignore things like common sense and, you know, actual laws.

It’s even worse when the younger sibling in the mix has mastered that entitlement-fueled confidence that makes every request feel like an order. Some households run on respect; others run on pressure and guilt.

That’s the situation the original poster found herself stuck in. A simple evening turned into a showdown when her brother demanded a favor she didn’t feel comfortable with, and her parents fully expected her to comply without question.

Instead of giving in, she made a choice that none of them saw coming. Scroll down to see how a small request spiraled into a full-blown family meltdown.

A woman refuses her brother’s risky request, sparking a tense showdown with their parents

Sibling Says No To Illegal Favor, Parents Call Him A Square And Consider Charging Rent
Not the actual photo

'AITA for refusing to break the law for my brother, despite both his and our parents’ insistence that I do?'

My younger brother Bryan just turned 19 about month ago.

About an hour ago, he casually mentioned if I could go get this moscotto (wine)

that he likes because he and his girlfriend is celebrating their first year together.

He said he needs it by 9 and just expected me to go and get it for him.

I told him I’m not really comfortable giving alcohol to someone whose underaged.

It’s not like it’s far or anything (just a couple min drive from my house).

But I live in America, so it’s illegal, and call me a straight edge or whatever but I don’t like breaking the law.

Additionally, I don’t want to give him the impression that this is something that I’m willing to do often;

if I give him alcohol now, he’d expect me to do it again in the future.

I said he can ask our parents but I’m definitely not going to break the law for him.

He got pissy and said to “stop being a bitch, who cares?” I said I do, and so I’m not doing it, end of story.

He texted our parents, and they called me.

I expected them to take my side so I put them on speakerphone, but they said they were planning a date night tonight and told me to handle it.

I said no and explained why I didn’t want to give my underaged brother alcohol

but they said to “stop being difficult and just give him the damn wine”.

Bryan had a shit-eating grin after that and said, “I’ll see you before 9.”

I went to my car so I guess he assumed I was getting it for him, but instead I just drove to a friend’s house.

I group texted Bryan and our parents, and said I wasn’t going to put my livelihood at risk

and break the law for anyone, and if anyone had a problem with that, well too bad.

I then put my phone on airplane mode and am currently typing this on my computer.

Did I do the right thing? I feel like my brother will be absolutely furious when I turn my phone on,

but I feel like he’s acting like a little turd. AITA for how I handled the situation?

Update: turned my phone back on. Mom and dad are furious.

All Bryan texted was "you know, you ruined what was supposed to be a special night and I hope it was worth it."

Starting to question if I did the right thing...

UPDATE 2: Got home last night. Brother wouldn't even look at me.

I sent him a message saying that it wasn't anything against him or anything;

I'm just really against the alcohol culture, and I felt uncomfortable with the request.

All he sent back was "tbh, I don't really give a shit about your excuses, just leave me alone".

He won't answer any of my calls or texts anymore.

My parents are furious for "being such a square" and said that between not giving my underage brother alcohol

and not being a legal slave (like forcing myself to do the shit they try to tell me to do e.g. plant the garden that THEY want or spread the...

they're genuinely considering kicking me out of the house or forcing me to start paying rent...

There comes a moment in many families when a simple request becomes a crossroads between keeping the peace and honoring one’s own values. Most people know the feeling: the tightness in the chest that comes when someone you love asks for something you genuinely cannot give.

In this story, the conflict isn’t just about alcohol or errands; it’s about the emotional weight of saying “no” in a family that expects compliance.

At the heart of the situation is a tension between responsibility and expectation. The sibling wasn’t merely refusing to drive to a store; they were navigating the fear of legal consequences, the discomfort of enabling underage drinking, and the heavy pressure of disappointing both a younger brother and two parents.

Meanwhile, the brother saw the issue as a harmless favor, and the parents viewed it as an inconvenience that could be delegated. Each person reacted from a different emotional world, which is why their interpretations clashed so sharply.

A fresh way to understand this conflict is to look at how people with different personalities perceive obligation. Someone conscientious tends to focus on long-term consequences legal risks, moral boundaries, and patterns that might form.

But a more socially driven person, like the younger brother, may see rules as flexible, especially when tied to a “special occasion.” In many families, the youngest child often grows accustomed to a softer set of expectations, while older siblings internalize responsibility in ways others don’t notice.

This psychological contrast creates a gap: one person prioritizes safety, and another prioritizes emotional harmony. When those internal priorities collide, neither side sees the other’s logic as valid.

Psychotherapist Sharon Martin, LCSW, explains that people who set boundaries, especially in families that aren’t used to hearing them, often face pushback because the boundary disrupts an established pattern.

He notes that when someone who usually accommodates suddenly refuses, others can interpret the change as rejection or defiance rather than self-protection. This framework fits the situation clearly.

The sibling’s refusal wasn’t an attack; it was an attempt to protect their own values and legal safety. But because the family system relied on their compliance, the boundary felt jarring.

Understanding this helps make sense of the emotional fallout. The brother felt personally denied, the parents felt inconvenienced, and the sibling felt cornered. Strong reactions often emerge not because the request is meaningful but because the boundary challenges long-standing dynamics.

A realistic takeaway is that boundaries, even reasonable ones, can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. The important part is learning to differentiate between genuine harm and temporary disappointment.

In this case, the sibling made a difficult choice rooted in self-preservation, and that’s something many readers may quietly relate to.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These commenters argue OP had every right to refuse a request that breaks the law

eightbuffalos − Technically NTA because someone asked you to do something illegal and you said no, but … geez, man,

I just cannot imagine having a brother who acted this uptight and judgmental.

It's just a bottle of wine. Get off the high horse.

Barrel-Of-Tigers − NTA As much as I, as an Aussie, think not being able to buy a drink at 19 is odd, I can’t blame you for not wanting to...

I think it’s a stupid law, but that’s not going to make a single difference if you’re charged for breaking it.

[Reddit User] − NTA but i only think that because taking alcohol out of the scenario, your brother is demanding a want (not a need)

and you're being bullied into buying it for him when it should be your choice.

Do I think you're in the right about your argument about alcohol? No. Not at all.

But I would apply this statement to whether he said "go get my gf & me Italian take out for our anniversary" & you said no and no one could...

thinkevolution − NTA! It is illegal, that's the bottom line here. You said no.

That's it. Based on your post, this type of activity could endanger your livelihood as well.

So passing on this request is completely reasonable. If your parents and your brother disagree, then that's on them.

You are completely entitled to say no to a request to furnish alcohol to your minor brother and his GF.

jonfrosty − NTA Let's break this down, forget about the alcohol, and forget about how much time it would take to go get it.

Your brother asked you to go out of your way to get something for him, you told him no and suggested he ask your parents.

He then calls you a bitch and gets the parents to essentially order you to go and get said thing.

You are definitely not the a-hole; you are under no obligation whatsoever to go out of your way for something, especially when asking turns into demanding.

AnarchoNAP − NTA It sucks being 18-20, but that doesn’t mean you have to risk things over a bottle of wine.

If it’s worth the risk to your parents, then they can go get it.

Swarlolz − NTA you don't have to do s__t you don't want to.

I wouldn't ask you to k__l an endangered species just because its my favorite to eat.

[Reddit User] − NTA - Personally I would just do it. But you are entitled to do what you want in this scenario.

If you don't want to do something illegal, you should not be forced to.

Tell him to go steal it, and call him a bitch for not wanting to break the law see how he likes it.

These Redditors think OP overreacted and acted self-righteous toward their brother

purplearmored − YTA you sound insufferable

chungusamongstus − YTA because legality doesn’t necessarily equal morality.

Technically you were in the “right” but come on man your brother, who is legally an adult, was trying to do a nice thing for his girlfriend on a special...

I can’t even imagine reacting like that to one of my siblings asking a favor.

You’re also being way too dramatic about the severity of the situation.

Unless you planned on giving him the wine inside of an actual police station with his ID out and visible nothing would have happened.

I mean you’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to but sometimes that makes you the a__hole.

EDIT: After to post’s edits I gotta double down because you sound like an entitled

A__HOLE equated doing chores around the home you live in rent free to legal slavery.

If you’re so miserable move the f__k out.

pope_pete − YTA. Are you obligated to do this for your brother?

No. You are being ridiculous about the "risk" given they are at home and it's a single bottle of wine split between two people.

You are the a__hole given that your brother is an adult, does nice things for you often, and can't otherwise get this bottle on his own.

This seems like a good way to become less close to your brother.

Is there some alcohol related trauma in your family that makes you so unreasonable about alcohol?

Otherwise, your further edits make it clear that this isn't really about the wine.

Your parents are upset with you over what appears to be a pattern of being entitled, stubborn, unhelpful, and living rent free into your twenties.

You need to contribute to maintaining the house and be helpful if you aren't paying rent.

While your brother and parents might be overreacting about the wine,

I would say you are still the a__hole since the reaction seems like a cumulative response.

Doubly so for dragging your parents into the conflict when they were on a date night.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Sorry, but him and his girlfriend sharing a bottle of moscotto (which is not usually a strong wine) wouldn't get them drunk.

I think you made a big deal out of nothing and ruined his day.

These users believe the family dynamic is dysfunctional and everyone contributed to the mess

ServiceDeskSheDevil − ESH I have amended my judgement after the edits OP put in recently,

while I don’t think OP should be pressured into buying alcohol if they’re not comfortable,

for me their whole attitude is coming across as a massive, self centred a__hole who won’t do a favour for their family.

Their attitude has made me doubt the original story and I wonder what’s been left out, have left my original judgement below.

Original Judgement was Not the A__hole: if your parents want to break the law and provide alcohol to someone underage, that's on them.

Do I think it's a big deal he wants to drink Moscato?

No, but as he's underage he shouldn't expect someone to organise this for him.

lezzerlee − ESH you can’t be forced to break the law & standing up for what you believe in is fine.

Your parents shouldn’t be forcing you and should have bought the wine themselves

if they don’t think it’s a problem for your bro to have some.

Your brother shouldn’t just expect things from you nor rat you out. He should find alternatives.

But also, you’re standing your ground on wine for your brother’s special occasion,

which isn’t a party where you’re enabling kids to behave poorly?

You should probably learn when to compromise and for whom it’s important or you’ll just be a future bootlicker. Breaking the law isn’t always a bad thing.

Don’t just buy into what is legally right over what is the actual right thing to do.

This commenter points out the nuance and avoids taking a firm side

[Reddit User] − Lots of fun party goers in this thread... Jesus

This story shows how something as trivial as a bottle of Moscato can expose deep fractures in a family’s communication style. Was the narrator’s refusal justified, or did they unintentionally fan the flames by holding the line too firmly?

And what about the parents? Were they defending their younger child or avoiding inconvenience at everyone else’s expense? What do you think? Was this a fair stand or an overreaction on all sides?

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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