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Siblings Call Police On Relatives Who Looted Their Dad’s House Days After His Death

by Annie Nguyen
December 7, 2025
in Social Issues

Losing a parent is painful enough, but some families seem determined to make the aftermath even harder. Stress rises, emotions blur together, and suddenly every choice feels like a test of loyalty or strength.

It becomes incredibly clear who respects boundaries and who believes they no longer apply when personal gain is involved.

The poster in this story recently faced that reality when she and her sister attempted to handle their parents’ belongings with care. What unfolded instead was a startling reminder of how quickly some people can cross a line when they think no one is watching.

Keep reading to see the moment everything spiraled and why it left the entire family divided.

A pair of siblings tries to guard their parents’ home after two sudden losses, but some relatives have other plans

Siblings Call Police On Relatives Who Looted Their Dad’s House Days After His Death
Not the actual photo

'AITA for staying true to my threats after my dad died?'

My dad died unexpectedly last week and my sister Jess and I lost our mom last year to a mix of cancer and the virus.

From how our family acted in the past over scavenging over dead people’s things both Jess and I decided to send out a family

memo on no one is to enter or take anything from our parents house until we get there.

Both Jess and I work on the west coast so it takes some time to get there with all of our kids and family.

I saw several notifications from my parents Ring Doorbell and I’m a lawyer.

I reminded my family we will prosecute. Jess and I are on the same page.

Jess gets to my parents house first and notices stuff is missing and my parents had security cameras and an Alexa show.

It shown my cousin taking stuff from the house. So Jess did what we agreed on and called the police and two of our cousins was arrested.

Because it was over a thousand dollars both are looking at felonies.

My cousin said my dad promised him this stuff and I have my dad’s will making me executor of the estate.

I told him he should have waited to file a claim with estate and everyone was warned about what would happen.

Jess and I don’t have the best relationship with our extended family and We are not dropping charges.

Because of this drama dad was quietly cremated with no service and we plan to hold one when scattered our parents ashes at Jess’s house in a tree planted for...

My last living grandma is upset about it but she sided with my cousins and aunt saying we are too tough on having them arrested.

My dad died unexpectedly last week and my sister Jess and I lost our mom last year to a mix of cancer and the virus.

From how our family acted in the past over scavenging over dead people’s things both Jess and I decided to send out a family

memo on no one is to enter or take anything from our parents house until we get there.

Both Jess and I work on the west coast so it takes some time to get there with all of our kids and family.

I saw several notifications from my parents Ring Doorbell and I’m a lawyer.

I reminded my family we will prosecute. Jess and I are on the same page.

Jess gets to my parents house first and notices stuff is missing and my parents had security cameras and an Alexa show.

It shown my cousin taking stuff from the house. So Jess did what we agreed on and called the police and two of our cousins was arrested.

Because it was over a thousand dollars both are looking at felonies.

My cousin said my dad promised him this stuff and I have my dad’s will making me executor of the estate.

I told him he should have waited to file a claim with estate and everyone was warned about what would happen.

Jess and I don’t have the best relationship with our extended family and We are not dropping charges.

Because of this drama dad was quietly cremated with no service and we plan to hold one when scattered our parents ashes at Jess’s house in a tree planted for...

My last living grandma is upset about it but she sided with my cousins and aunt saying we are too tough on having them arrested.

Grief changes people in unexpected ways. It can soften some and harden others, and it often exposes long-standing fractures within a family. When someone passes away, many hope for unity or mutual support, yet reality can look very different.

In this story, the poster and her sister are already carrying the weight of losing both parents, but instead of being met with compassion, they’re thrust into a conflict fueled by entitlement, anger, and unresolved family history.

Emotionally, this situation is about more than missing belongings. It’s about two daughters trying to protect their parents’ legacy while navigating a painful, disorienting moment. Their boundaries were clear: no one enters the house until they arrive.

Yet their extended family acted immediately and secretly, driven by impulse rather than respect. The cousins justified their actions with claims of promises, but their decision to ignore warnings reflected something deeper. Meanwhile, the grandmother’s disappointment reveals another layer:

some people interpret accountability as cruelty, even when harm was deliberate. The poster is managing not only legal responsibility but also the emotional fallout of being perceived as “too harsh” simply for enforcing rules.

A helpful lens comes from Verywell Mind’s discussion of grief counseling, which explains that grief often magnifies emotional differences within families. When people mourn, they may cope in conflicting ways, and these differences can intensify tension rather than bring people together.

The article notes that grief can spark resentment, misunderstanding, and conflict because each person processes loss through their own emotional filter. It emphasizes that without healthy communication and clear boundaries, families may experience increased friction or fractured relationships during mourning.

This insight highlights why the poster’s family reacted so differently. She and her sister operated from structure, clarity, and a desire to maintain order. Their cousins reacted through a mix of entitlement and emotional impulsivity, interpreting grief as urgency.

The grandmother responded through avoidance, choosing peace over fairness. Once these coping styles collided, conflict became inevitable. The sisters weren’t being heartless; they were responding to an already fragile situation with the only stability they had: the law and their boundaries.

Ultimately, the poster’s decision to enforce consequences was reasonable and necessary. Grief may cloud judgment, but it does not erase accountability.

When families face loss, healing requires respect, not rushed decisions, not secrecy, and certainly not taking advantage of a tragedy.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters say family greed after a death is disgraceful and OP isn’t wrong

Prodigious_Wind − There is nothing quite so unedifying as the rush by distant family members to grab what they can when someone dies. Definitely NTA.

redditposter − NTA, who goes through a dead person's thing before their kids get there?

OneWithoutaName2 − NTA. I had a cousin who practically cleaned out our grandmother’s house.

This was long before the advent of ring doorbells or security cameras so she got away with the theft of thousands of dollars of stolen property.

Your cousins broke into a home when they could have waited for you & your sister to arrive and asked nicely for some momentous.

Since your family relationships are strained already, let them stew in the pot of trouble they choose to create.

KS-AP1 − NTA. S__ew ‘em, simple. They weren’t there when either were alive but they sure love to scramble around once they’re gone to raid their s__t.

These Redditors emphasize the clear warnings and say the cousins earned the consequences

lace_attack − NTA. You stated the consequences and they ignored it.

Law is law especially when talking that much money. That’s breaking and entering not to mention stealing

tatersprout − NTA They broke in and burglarized your parents home. Do not drop the charges.

They were warned and thought you would ignore their behavior. Stay strong. I am so sorry for your losses.

Key-Bit1208 − NTA They were warned and still decided to help themselves they deserve the charges.

Working_Turn_6625 − NTA. You specifically instructed them not to take anything and they went ahead and did exactly that.

VixNeko − NTA. I don't understand how this very normal boundary was so hard for them to respect.

These folks highlight OP’s legal authority as executor and reject the cousins’ excuses

mdthomas − So your dad had a will naming you the executor and your relatives decided to steal from your dad's estate. NTA

The__Riker__Maneuver − NTA My advice? Follow through with the charges and use this opportunity to remove these people from your life permanently.

Don't give a single thing or a single penny to anyone in the extended family that you are not on good terms with.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your dad created a will and made you the executor of the estate for a reason.

If your cousin's were actually meant to have the thousands of dollars worth of items they took, they could've waited until you arrived.

It sucks that they got arrested but the first thing on their minds when losing a relative shouldn't be "I should take items from their house"

or "I'm owed these items let me go collect.

" Plus you and your sister gave advanced warning, so it's not like you just randomly decided to call the police.

plantking9001 − NTA Deaths in the family bring out the worst in people.

I can only hope that you would've otherwise been fair to them had they only been patient but they made their choice and can face the consequences of their actions.

You are the executor of your dad's estate and therefore the protector of his affairs after his death so. Stand firm and don't drop the charges.

These commenters note that “family theft” is still theft and the law should teach the lesson

LiolaCharm − NTA "From how our family acted in the past over scavenging over dead people’s things

" Sounds like your family sees absolutely nothing wrong with stealing things from those who have passed.

They need to learn that stealing from family is still stealing and still wrong. There's nothing like the law to teach them a lesson.

bubbabearzle − NTA. My MIL's sister did this within days of her sister dying. Took all kinds of mementos that I would have gladly split or made copies of.

She was so n__ty about it, and was really pissed that my MIL had given me some 100+ year old albums to keep safe at my house before she died

(she knew her sister all too well). I won't even share copies of those at this point. I wish I would have prosecuted. You are NTA.

In the end, this story shows just how quickly grief can twist into chaos when boundaries meet entitlement. The Redditor didn’t spring a surprise; family members were warned, repeatedly, and still chose to raid the house before the siblings could even grieve.

People overwhelmingly sided with the OP, though a few wondered whether felony charges were too harsh, even if deserved. Do you think the OP’s unwavering follow-through was justified, or did the situation spiral beyond what anyone intended?

And how would you handle relatives who treat a loved one’s death like a shopping spree? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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