Sometimes, even the smallest requests from family can lead to big disagreements, especially when personal boundaries are involved. One Redditor, juggling an unpredictable work schedule and living with her mother, was asked by her sister-in-law to help with the school drop-off for her niece. However, due to her demanding shifts, she couldn’t commit.
Her refusal didn’t sit well with her sister-in-law, who felt it was a small favor to ask. But when her brother started calling her selfish, the Redditor felt torn. Was she in the wrong for standing her ground, or should she have been more accommodating? Keep reading to see how this family dispute unfolded and if she made the right choice.
A woman refuses to take her niece to school daily due to work, causing family tension
It’s easy to see why everyone involved feels frustrated. The OP is caught between their own work commitments and a sense of responsibility to their family, while their sister-in-law Rose is feeling the stress of juggling her own responsibilities and looking for help.
The core emotional conflict here seems to be a disconnect in expectations. Rose likely feels overwhelmed by her situation, particularly with the added stress of moving, dealing with home repairs, and balancing work schedules.
It’s understandable that she would reach out to the OP for help, especially given that the niece’s school is close and she may have felt that walking her child to school was too much to ask. For her, it’s about convenience and support during a challenging time, and she may have assumed that family would step in without hesitation.
On the other hand, the OP, who works in healthcare, has a demanding job with irregular shifts. The OP likely feels that they are already stretched thin, balancing their own work schedule with housework and rent obligations.
The suggestion from Rose to adjust their work availability, which could risk a reduction in shifts, seems unrealistic and unfair from the OP’s perspective. It’s clear the OP values their job and the balance they’ve worked hard to maintain.
From a psychological standpoint, the situation can be seen through the lens of role strain. According to Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist and author, role strain occurs when individuals feel overwhelmed by the expectations placed on them in different areas of life, such as work and family.
The OP has already taken on significant household responsibilities, and asking them to take on more without considering their own limitations feels like an additional burden.
The emotional conflict is further complicated by family dynamics. While the OP’s mum seems empathetic and understands the OP’s stance, the brother and Rose view the situation differently. It’s a classic case of differing expectations: to Rose, it’s a small ask, and to the brother, it’s a reasonable family favor.
But to the OP, it’s more than just a simple favor, it’s a sacrifice that could potentially impact their career and personal wellbeing.
In the end, the OP’s decision to stand firm in this case is not inherently selfish, but rather a matter of setting personal boundaries. It’s important to recognize that family members should support each other, but not at the expense of personal health, work-life balance, and overall well-being.
The OP is within their rights to prioritize their own needs, and Rose’s frustration, though understandable, doesn’t mean the OP is in the wrong. Setting limits on family requests is not the same as being selfish; it’s about recognizing when help can be given without overextending oneself.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
This group pointed out that the child’s parents should adjust their schedules, not the poster
These commenters emphasized that the child’s school drop-off is the responsibility of the parents
This group noted the unfairness of expecting the poster to change their work hours when the child’s father could do the same
These commenters criticized the entitlement of the parents and suggested alternatives like walking, biking, or even using Uber
What do you think? Did OP do the right thing by saying no, or should they have helped out? Let us know your thoughts below!
