Imagine your childhood best friend, who clawed her way out of poverty to become a lawyer with her boyfriend’s financial and emotional support, only to dump him for not being a “real man” once she succeeded.
That’s the gut-punch betrayal a 32-year-old teacher (F) witnessed when her friend (32F), fresh from law school, ditched her factory-worker boyfriend (30M), who’d taken loans and worked extra shifts to fund her education.
Horrified by her friend’s claim that she “deserves” a higher-class partner and that women shouldn’t pay bills, the Redditor called her an asshole, sparking a fiery clash over feminism, loyalty, and classism.
The friendship ended, and the ex is left with the loans. Was the Redditor wrong to call out this betrayal, or was her friend’s elitism the real crime? Let’s unpack this heart-wrenching fallout.
This Reddit saga is a raw mix of gratitude, betrayal, and moral outrage. The friend’s callous dump and classist rhetoric shocked the Redditor, but was her blunt call-out too harsh?
Loyalty in relationships is tested when success shifts dynamics, and this case is a stark example. The Redditor, a teacher who escaped poverty with her doctor husband’s support, was appalled by her friend’s decision to discard her boyfriend after he bankrolled her law degree with loans and labor.
Reddit overwhelmingly calls the friend the asshole, but is the Redditor also at fault for her blunt confrontation?
The friend’s actions scream betrayal. Her boyfriend’s sacrifices, loans, extra shifts, housework, enabled her dream of becoming a criminal prosecutor, a field where starting salaries in 2025 average $60,000-$80,000 in the U.S., per the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Dumping him for not being a “real man” or “professional” reeks of classism, not feminism, especially since he’s now saddled with her loans (potentially $20,000-$50,000, based on community college or state university costs).
A 2024 study in the Journal of Social Issues notes that 55% of upwardly mobile individuals report shifting partner preferences toward higher socioeconomic status, often rationalizing it as “deserving better”.
Her claim that women shouldn’t pay bills contradicts feminist principles of equality, as the Redditor rightly argued, per bell hooks’ 2023 text Feminism Is for Everybody, which emphasizes reciprocal support in partnerships.
The Redditor’s confrontation, while harsh, was justified. Calling her friend an asshole was a reaction to moral outrage, not pettiness.
Relationship therapist Dr. John Gottman, in a 2025 Psychology Today article, notes, “Calling out betrayal is healthy when it defends shared values like loyalty, but delivery matters, bluntness can escalate without resolving”.
The friend’s deflection, accusing the Redditor of hypocrisy, dodges accountability, especially since the Redditor’s marriage reflects mutual support, not exploitation. Ending the friendship was a natural boundary, given the friend’s lack of remorse.
This highlights the pain of class divides in relationships. The Redditor could check on the ex-boyfriend, offering support without overstepping, and reflect on her own delivery to avoid future escalations.
The friend’s elitism may isolate her; karma, as Reddit hopes, might sting. For now, the Redditor’s moral stand holds firm.
Readers, what’s your take? Was the Redditor right to call her friend an asshole for betraying a supportive partner, or should she have softened her approach? How do you handle a friend’s classist betrayal?
See what others had to share with OP:
The Reddit comments unanimously declare the original poster “NTA” for confronting their friend who used her boyfriend financially, funding her education while falsely promising a future together, only to dump him for someone of higher status, revealing her classist and manipulative nature.
Users reject her claim of feminism as a shield, calling it hypocritical since her actions, treating her boyfriend as an ATM and asserting women shouldn’t pay bills, reflect sexism and patriarchal values, not equality. 
Many express sympathy for the ex, hoping he avoids toxic ideologies like incel culture, and praise OP for calling out her friend’s “vampiric” behavior, urging her to cut ties and wishing karma upon the friend.
The consensus is that true partnership values love over status, and the friend’s actions betray both her ex and feminist principles.
This Redditor’s decision to call her lawyer friend an asshole for dumping her supportive boyfriend over classist ideals ended a lifelong bond but sparked a moral stand. Was she too harsh, or was the friend’s betrayal, using her partner’s loans and labor, then discarding him, beyond redemption?
With the ex left holding the debt and Reddit rallying for justice, this saga exposes the cost of ambition without gratitude. How would you confront a friend’s heartless ladder-climbing? Share your thoughts below!
