A 17-year-old raised by his single mom only gets one tightly scheduled day each month with the father who cheated to conceive him. That same dad stayed silent when his wife sneered at the teen’s working-class roots and later suggested he wasn’t really gay, just confused.
After the boy struggled on an overseas-university entrance exam, Dad accused him of sabotaging the score to stay near his boyfriend and demanded more effort “to make me proud.” The teenager finally exploded, declaring he feels zero need to impress a man who’s barely shown up. The raw confession left his father stunned.
A teen born from an affair tells his once-a-month dad he doesn’t care about making him proud.
Let’s be real, being the product of an affair is already a rough starting line. Throw in a father who limits visits to one day a month “for the sake of compromise” with his wife, and you’ve got a recipe for emotional whiplash.
Our Redditor has spent years swallowing snide comments, silent dinners, and even a cringe attempt to “fix” his sexuality. When Dad suddenly expects Olympic-level effort on an IELTS exam to “make him proud,” the teen finally drew the line. And honestly? Most of us would have cracked sooner.
From the wife’s perspective, pain is understandable. She was cheated on. But directing that resentment at a child who didn’t ask to exist is, well, misdirected target practice.
Dad’s bigger crime is the silence: never defending his son, never showing up beyond the court-ordered calendar slot, yet still wanting the emotional payoff of a proud parent.
This story shines a spotlight on a sadly common dynamic: “part-time” parents who want full-time pride without full-time presence. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that profiles of non-residential father engagement in adolescence – particularly moderate involvement with low conflict – predict better long-term academic achievement and fewer externalizing problems in young adulthood, emphasizing quality over mere frequency of contact—and quality here has been… let’s say, budget-brand.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, in her TED podcast with Adam Grant, put it bluntly: “The single most important thing as a parent is to get good at repair. No parents get it right all the time. We all yell, we all get triggered. We all do things we wish we didn’t do.”
In this case, Dad’s emotional bank account has been overdrawn for years. Dr. Becky’s words ring especially true when the teen says things “haven’t been the same” since coming out. That single dismissive “maybe you’re just confused” moment can echo for a lifetime, as research shows parental rejection during disclosure heightens risks of depression and suicidality among LGBTQ youth.
So what’s the healthy move forward? Boundaries, therapy (if accessible), and focusing on the adults who actually show up: grandparents, chosen family, even a supportive boyfriend.
Reddit’s unanimous NTA verdict is refreshing, but the real win would be this kid deciding his worth isn’t tied to a man who only invested the bare minimum.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Some people say the father has no right to expect pride or respect because he abandoned his responsibilities and barely acts like a dad.
Some people emphasize that OP should live for themselves and make themselves (or people who actually care) proud, not the absent father.
Some people criticize both the father and his wife, saying the father failed as a parent while the wife wrongly directs affair anger at the child.
Some people focus on the father’s cheating and terrible parenting, saying OP deserves better and shouldn’t feel obligated to him.
Some people give unrelated or tangentially related advice that doesn’t directly address the core father-pride issue.
At the end of the day, a 17-year-old shouldn’t have to manufacture motivation for a father who’s been phoning it in since birth. Do you think the Redditor was too harsh in the heat of the moment, or was this truth bomb a long time coming?
Would you keep the door cracked for a dad like this, or change the locks and throw away the key? Drop your thoughts, we’re all ears!
