When it comes to family, the ties that bind can be both legal and emotional. This 17-year-old has been raised by his grandparents, with no contact from his biological parents, who only reappeared recently to try and create a relationship with him and his biological siblings.
Despite their efforts, he has no desire to engage with them or his bio siblings, as they weren’t part of his upbringing. His parents’ return has led to pressure from other family members who believe he should try to form a connection with his siblings.
Is this teen wrong for refusing to embrace his biological family?
When the 17‑year‑old says he’s unwilling to build a relationship with his biological siblings simply because they share DNA, it’s not spite, it’s boundary.
He was raised entirely by his adoptive parents and the person he considers his brother.
The fact that his birth‑parents were absent while he grew up means the idea of suddenly embracing a “whole new family” doesn’t simply feel exciting, it feels alien.
Meanwhile, his biological parents expect him to welcome them and their kids as if nothing missing before now matters. That clash between emotional reality and familial expectation is where the friction lies.
From the siblings’ perspective, they might feel hurt and confused, yes, biologically they share him, but emotionally they didn’t live the same history.
From his side, the lack of shared lived experience, the disregard for his feelings, and the appearance of pressure make the idea of forming that connection feel forced rather than organic.
On a wider scale, family psychologists say that emotional connection matters far more than genetic connection when it comes to feeling like family.
One review found that a strong “family bond” is heavily determined by the quality of relationships, communication, mutual support, and shared history, not merely shared DNA.
Another study emphasises that genes and environment don’t act in isolation but in interplay, so the genetic link doesn’t automatically create a meaningful bond if the environment (caregiving, presence) isn’t there.
So when the OP says “my parents didn’t raise me, so I don’t owe my bio siblings a relationship,” it aligns with research suggesting that attachment and caregiving context are central to feeling part of a family. It’s not simply about biology.
At the same time, his bio‑parents’ plea (“you’ll regret missing out”) may stem from guilt and longing, but it doesn’t change his lived experience. Forcing a relationship rarely builds something genuine.
The OP should consider a direct conversation with his bio‑parents: calmly explain his viewpoint, “I appreciate the attempt, but I cannot bypass my history or my feelings”. That clarity can reduce passive pressure from relatives.
He could explore a slow approach rather than “all‑or‑nothing.” For example: meet the siblings only in a group setting, no pressure for deep bonds, just low‑stakes interaction to see how things feel.
He should keep recognising and honouring the family that did raise him, the adoptive parents and his “brother” who were present. That gives him emotional secure ground.
If he isn’t comfortable with his bio‑parents using his mother’s name, or pressuring him to become siblings with kids he didn’t know, he should articulate what is acceptable and what is not.
If he feels conflicted, counselling (either solo or family) might help him process feelings of abandonment, loyalty, guilt and identity.
In the end, the young man’s decision not to pursue a relationship with his biological siblings is rooted in his need to protect the emotional reality of his upbringing rather than a rejection of family.
His adoptive parents were present, consistent, and formative; his birth‑parents were absent when he needed them.
Genetics alone don’t guarantee connection, especially when the emotional soil was never tended. He isn’t punishing the siblings, he’s simply choosing the family in which he felt seen, supported, and raised.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
These commenters roasted the bio-parents for trying to guilt-trip OP into a relationship they never had a chance to develop, emphasizing that OP’s feelings and decisions should be respected.
These users backed the sentiment that OP should make their own decisions, at their own pace, and not be pressured into accepting their bio-parents’ narrative.
These commenters cheered OP for recognizing that their bio-parents were just looking for an easy, convenient relationship and not a real, meaningful connection.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You have your cousin as a sibling, and that is what matters.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/wp-editor-1764062657177-62.webp "Teen Rejects Family Push To Bond With Bio Siblings, Says His Parents’ Abandonment Was Unforgivable")
This is a deeply emotional situation for the Redditor, as they’ve built a life with the family who raised them and have no emotional connection to their bio parents or siblings.
Is it wrong for them to refuse to pursue a relationship with their bio siblings given their history, or is it justified considering the emotional toll? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!
