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Teen’s Best Friend Wants His “Controlling” Parents to Sleep in OP’s Bed For Six Weeks

by Carolyn Mullet
December 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Moving in with a best friend is supposed to be the start of a fun, independent chapter. You imagine pizza nights, studying on the balcony, and finally being free of curfews. However, reality sometimes brings unexpected guests who don’t just visit, they try to take over.

One college student found himself in the middle of a leasing nightmare not caused by a landlord, but by his roommate’s incredibly involved parents. After vetoing furniture, delaying move-in dates, and refusing to chip in for assembly, they dropped a massive bombshell. They planned to live in the apartment for the summer, specifically, in the OP’s room.

Caught between standing his ground and keeping a friendship, this student asked the internet if locking his door was a step too far.

The build-up to this conflict sounds incredibly stressful. The roommate’s parents were deeply involved in every small detail, often making things harder than they needed to be.

The Story:

Teen’s Best Friend Wants His "Controlling" Parents to Sleep in OP’s Bed For Six Weeks
Not the actual photo

WIBTA If I locked my own room just so my roommate's parents can't stay in the apartment?

About 11 months ago, I (m28) found out that my gf (f24) was cheating on me. We'd been together for 4 years, and lived together for almost 2.

I thought we had a great relationship, we got along well, regular weekly dates, traveled a lot together and had tons of plans for our future together.

We'd even talked about me proposing as soon as she got her finances in order.

I found out she was sleeping with a guy who's friend with a best friend's boyfriend.

I told her to kick rocks and that I never wanted to see her again. She went on and moved in with that best friend and her boyfriend.

During that time, she never told her family that we broke up or no longer lived together. A few weeks, after she moved out.

She reached and told me that she was pregnant and that she is certain that it's mine because the times she cheated they used condoms.

For context, my pop passes when I was a child and I have very little memories of him

and as a result my family struggles and I affected me for a long time.

I told her, when the kid is born and is confirmed as mine. I'll take care of everything. Until than leave me alone.

A few weeks later, we met up and she swore of everything that the baby is mine and said I should help cover maternity/pregnancy stuffs.

I told her, keep receipts of everything you spend of pregnancy/maternity stuffs. After the child is born. If it's mine, I'll cut you a check to cover all expenses.

If it's not then well part ways. She agreed. She then proceeded to get a midwife and a doula for herself.(Both pretty expensive), she decided on a home birth.

Comes time, baby came early and there were complications, she was rushed to the hospital for emergency C-section

and baby was kept on those wards were they keep new born who can't survive alone.

The day of birth I went to see her and a nurse took me to see the baby.

Two weeks ago she sent me receipts for everything, and it's totalled over 40k and she asked for money to pay the doula and midwife.

I told let's wait for dna results. Well, turns out I'm not the father. I told her I'm sorry but she's on her own.

She cried and said she and the child are ruined if I don't step up and help them

and went on on how we can have a successful relationship together and raise the kid

and how's she matured and will be a good partner. I told her I have no interest raising someone else child

and to call on the real father. Well, the guy is broke and is cashier at the local store.

Now everyone in her family is trying to convince me to at least pay off the 40k and before going our ways.

I said no. AITAH for refusing to step up here?

UPDATE

I had to lawyer up. She's still pushing the dead beat dad narrative and painting me as the bad guy.

second Update

Hey Guys, Since having to get a lawyer I blocked her and everything in her circle. I shared with family and friends the DNA results

and they were all baffled by her brazenness (some of them had a good 😂, especially my mom who never liked her much).

My lawyer told her that she needed to fixed what she's done and clear my name or we'd sue her amongst other things.

Last night she made a post last night on Facebook telling everyone that she and I have not been together for nearly a year

and that the child isn't in fact mine. She made another post and tagged the guy who's supposedly the father.

She messaged me on Whatsapp, I hadn't blocked her there. She apologized and said she was desperate and angry at herself for cheating

and wished on everything she never did and that I was the father and said she hope we can maybe be friends.

I never answered her message and don't plan on it.

Wow, reading this honestly brings back every chaotic memory of student housing. It is so tough to be nineteen and trying to assert independence when another family is treating your shared space like their own property. You can feel the writer’s frustration building up with every bullet point.

The dad flying eighteen hours just to help build furniture because the other parents refused to contribute is such a touching detail. It really highlights the contrast in support systems. But wanting to move into a room that someone else is paying for? That feels like crossing a line from “involved parent” to “totally inappropriate boundary stomping.” It makes total sense that he wants to lock his door, it is his safe space, after all!

Expert Opinion

When we look at this through a psychological lens, we are seeing a clear struggle between “enmeshment” and “individuation.” Enmeshment happens when family boundaries are blurry, and parents struggle to let their children make their own choices. The roommate seems unable to say no to his parents because their dynamic likely discourages his independence.

According to Psychology Today, healthy boundaries are the fence that keeps good neighbors. Without them, resentment grows quickly. The OP is attempting to build that fence—literally, with a lock—because his roommate hasn’t learned to build one verbally. It is a necessary protective measure.

Experts from sites like VeryWellMind remind us that our living spaces are extensions of our psychological self. When someone demands access to your private room, it can feel like a violation of your personal identity.

Dr. John Townsend, a psychologist and co-author of Boundaries, often says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” In this case, the roommate’s parents are dealing with financial stress, which is sad, but projecting that stress onto a teenager’s living situation is not a healthy solution. It creates an environment where the student feels like a guest in his own home.

Community Opinions

The internet community rallied around the student, validating his frustration while also offering practical (and sometimes stern) advice.

Many commenters pointed out that this wasn’t just rude; it was likely against the rules.

Chrysoptera − NTA. This roommate is a total nightmare. ETA: Tell your landlord about the illegal subletters (his parents)

because that kind of thing is against the terms of most leases.

Finn_Finite − Also double check your lease - most places won't allow visitors for an entire summer anyway.

That would give you good leverage to get them put away at a hotel somewhere instead.

teresajs − Also, check your lease... It probably says something about "no long term visitors".

In other words, his parenys staying for weeks almost certainly violates your lease.

People encouraged him to have the hard conversation with his friend.

partyrockerdj − If installing a lock is the boiling point that blows your friendship, I suggest you take note of every event that has led up to this point...

I would see if there is any penalty for breaking the lease and try to get a different roommate

Smashed_Adams − I'd tell your friend to toughen or this is going to be hell as a living situation.

You got a small taste of what living with him is going to be like

hilfnafl − You shouldn't wait to tell your roommate that his parents are not welcome to stay in your room.

The sooner he knows, the sooner his parents can make other plans.

There was a strong consensus that “No” is a complete sentence when it comes to your own room.

CulturalHunter − What the hell? You could have just skipped the whole furniture thing and the answer would still be the same.

It is YOUR ROOM.  If you're up to day on your rent... NO ONE has the right to stay in your room. Period.

Respectable_Coyote − Have you tried saying "No"? ... Just tell them no, they can't stay in your room

because it's staying locked with all your stuff in it while you are away. End of conversation.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're paying half the rent, that room is yours.

Your roommate should offer his bed to them and take the couch - the couch that his parents were so controlling over.

Users validated that this level of control was abnormal and stressful.

AtomicSamuraiCyborg − NTA. Your already going to lose your best friend. You have already discovered

that living with him is going to be a nightmare. I doubt your friendship will survive this.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If your story is correct f__k his parents. Not to mention they aren't entitled to your room anyways.

pdpablo86 − Yikes, I do not miss having roommates, this takes me right back to college. NTA, at all.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

Finding yourself in a boundary battle with a friend is incredibly draining. If you are in a spot like this, try to separate the friendship from the business arrangement. Housing is a legal agreement first.

Communicate clearly and in writing if possible. Saying, “I value our friendship, but I am not comfortable sharing my personal space while I am away,” is honest and fair. It’s also wise to loop in a third party, like a landlord or student housing mediator, if the lease is being violated. Remember, it is okay to protect your peace, even if it feels uncomfortable in the moment.

Conclusion

This story is a really tough lesson in adulting. It shows us that moving in with a best friend doesn’t always guarantee a smooth ride. While we can feel sympathy for the parents’ job loss, demanding a roommate’s personal space is asking too much.

Do you think locking the door is the right move, or is it too aggressive? How would you handle a roommate who couldn’t say “no” to their parents? We would love to hear your advice in the comments below!

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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