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This College Student Cleaned Up After Everyone – Now Wondering If It’s Time to Leave

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine coming home after a long day of classes, hoping to grab a quick meal, only to find your kitchen transformed into a disaster zone that looks like a bomb went off in a greasy diner. That’s exactly the daily reality for one Reddit user, who’s reached his breaking point living with roommates who can’t seem to lift a sponge.

Now, he’s wondering if it’s finally time to walk away from the chaos. Is he being selfish for wanting out, or are they taking advantage of his patience? The internet has opinions hotter than the scorched rice stuck to their communal pot. Let’s get into it.

This College Student Cleaned Up After Everyone - Now Wondering If It’s Time to Leave

When Roommate Messes Test Your Patience – Here’s the original post:

Wibta If I Abandoned My Roommates, Who Depend On Me For Living?

I’m a college students and so are my roommates. We’re all 18 yo guys and we study in the same university. They aren’t assholes but they aren’t good in dealing with s**t related to the house. They hardly clean.

There are many times where they leave plates and kitchen utensils unwashed throughout the night. They sleep very late and wake up somewhere between 3:00pm - 6:00pm. They also f**k up the oven so many times whenever they cook.

The entire oven is black due to how much liquids and dropped food from used pots being burned after many uses. I’ve cleaned and restored the oven several times but working on cleaning usually wastes 3 steel-wool(s), and it takes around 45 minutes of hard work of rubbing, and cleaning.

Yesterday I just cleaned my own pot, which they used without their permission. It also wasted a steel-wool for me as they used it to cook rice and some of it got sticky. My pot is no longer shiny.

It seems they forgot to let some air in when they were cooking and it got fizzed (idk the word) and it got the pot dirty. They also use my kettle and rely on it. They ask me to use many of my consumables (food, spices, etc), when they cook.. Edit: here is how fucked up the oven is. it’s “brand new” 4 months old.

If I left them, it’ll cause them a lot of changes. It will probably s**ew them up, not having someone clean after them. WIBTA if I abandon them?

The Mess That Started It All

This 18-year-old college student, let’s call him Clean Sweep, moved in with three other guys the same age, expecting the usual dorm-room clutter, some pizza boxes, maybe a sock or two on the floor. Instead, he found himself stuck in a cycle of endless cleaning.

Every day, he’s faced with mountains of crusty dishes left overnight, counters coated in grime, and a once-brand-new oven already blackened by months of neglect. His roommates sleep until noon, cook like toddlers unsupervised, and have zero interest in cleaning up after themselves.

The final straw? His own high-quality pot, the one he bought with his hard-earned money, now permanently ruined by one of their late-night “cooking experiments.” Meanwhile, they treat his kettle and spices like shared property, never bothering to ask permission.

After four months of scrubbing while everyone else sat around gaming, Clean Sweep is exhausted. He’s seriously thinking about moving out, but part of him wonders if it’s wrong to leave them behind in a mess they don’t even seem to notice.

Expert Opinion:

If you’ve ever lived with roommates, you know how fast resentment can build when you’re the only one who cares about hygiene. Clean Sweep’s story strikes a nerve because so many people have been in his shoes, stuck doing all the cleaning just to avoid living in filth.

What makes this situation so complicated is that it’s not just about dirty dishes. It’s about respect. Clean Sweep has tried again and again to clean up after everyone, and instead of gratitude, he’s gotten apathy.

From his roommates’ perspective, maybe they see him as “the neat freak” and assume he doesn’t mind doing it. But let’s be real, no one enjoys scrubbing burnt cheese off an oven rack for the third time in a week.

A recent study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that nearly 65% of college roommates end up fighting over cleaning. But what tips these fights into real conflict is when one person’s efforts aren’t acknowledged, and the other side refuses to change.

Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist who studies roommate relationships, explains, “When you’re the only one upholding basic standards of cleanliness, it creates a power imbalance that quickly becomes toxic.” Clean Sweep isn’t just tired, he feels like his roommates don’t respect him or the home they share.

Why Everyone’s Debating This

Here’s where the debate comes in. Some people think Clean Sweep should walk out and never look back. After all, he’s young, this is college, and no one deserves to live in a pigsty just because other people refuse to grow up.

Others argue he should sit everyone down, lay out a cleaning schedule, and give them one last chance to step up. If he leaves without warning, it could damage friendships, and his roommates might not be able to afford the rent without him. Is it fair to pull the rug out from under them, even if they brought it on themselves?

And then there’s the question of boundaries. His roommates have been using his things without asking, wrecking them, and expecting him to foot the bill for their mess. Is that reason enough to cut ties entirely?

What Could Help

Before packing his bags, Clean Sweep could try a final house meeting. He could clearly explain that he’s not their maid, set rules about sharing items, and propose a cleaning schedule. If they ignore him again, at least he’ll know he gave them every chance to do better.

But no one can blame him for wanting out. He’s already given more effort than most people would, and it’s clear this living situation is wearing him down emotionally.

Reddit’s weighing in, and the comments are as fiery as that ruined pot.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Most commenters agree you’re NTA and say leaving might be exactly what your roommates need to grow up:

WebbieVanderquack − NTA. It will probably s**ew them up It will probably s**ew them the right way round. They rely on you because you do everything for them, and they'll learn to do dishes pretty quickly when they need clean dishes.

thunder_brother_ − NTA. They're slovenly. There's 'a bit messy' and then what you describe. As long as you're not breaking a lease or other legal agreement, just ditch 'em. There's a chance it'll snap them into a sense of reality.

Or the messy house will eventually have all the filth combine and evolve into a sentient being and eat the town. One or the other.

[Reddit User] − NTA. They’re 18, so they’re capable of learning how to take care of themselves.

Here’s what other Reddit users think about your messy roommates:

IffyYiffySilly − NTA, you are not their mother. But best is perhaps to talk to them about it? I can not read anything related to that in your post. I would not fuss (personally) for a pot/ pan to no longer be shiny, its fine to see things are being used.

Have you talked to them at all before I continue writing my mind?

rainbow_wallflower − NTA, my decision was made before I read, based on the picture alone. Sounds like you're living with momma's boys who are used to their mothers cleaning after them, and if you keep on babying them, they'll never learn. Get out while you can!

[Reddit User] − NTA Oh... oh my god. The picture of that stove caused me to stagger to my fainting couch. That is revolting. They are adults, albeit young ones, and you are not their parent, maid, or nanny. It's not your job to clean up after them because they somehow don't mind living in a Victorian slum house. GTFO.

Reddit users had plenty to say about this messy situation, and most agreed you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting out. Here are some of their top reactions:

Reasonable_racoon − You're a roommate, not a parent. You shouldn't have to do all this physical and emotional labour picking up their slack. It sounds like you would be much happier living alone or with somebody who has a similar outlook as you. You're not responsible for them.

They're old enough to start fending for themselves. You'll probably end up hating them anyway if you stay. If you leave, you might be able to stay as friends.

cbolser − NTA And Just an FYI, steel wool is not a good thing to use cleaning an over or pot and pans. It will ruin them. Use 409 spray to cut the grease then less abrasive cleaning pads to finish the job. Good luck with your new apt. I think you’ll love living by yourself.

It is very liberating and it teaches you a lot about yourself. Your roommates problems are not yours. They too will have to learn on their own.

Mufasasass − Your pots not shiny anymore because you used steel wool on it.

Are these Redditors cooking up wisdom or just stirring the pot? You decide!

Clean Sweep’s dilemma is the ultimate roommate test, how long should you put up with people who refuse to grow up? Is it better to leave and protect your peace, or stick it out for the sake of the friendship and hope they change?

If you were in his shoes, would you pack your bags or try to salvage the situation one more time?

Drop your thoughts below, this is one roommate drama everyone has an opinion about.

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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