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Trouble Occurs After Wife Forgets Phone Numbers, Husband Then Applies “Kid’s Teaching Technique” On Her

by Jeffrey Stone
January 22, 2026
in Social Issues

After twelve years of marriage and raising three young children, a husband emphasizes memorizing essential phone numbers for real emergencies. His wife ends up locking her phone and keys inside her car during a work event far from home, leaving her stranded until a coworker drives her back and the whole family embarks on a lengthy round-trip to retrieve the vehicle.

He highlights how knowing his number by heart would have solved the problem instantly. She reluctantly agrees to learn it, yet struggles intensely with the task, growing frustrated and defensive during repeated attempts. Undeterred, he presses on, declaring it a vital safety matter regardless of her embarrassment.

A husband pushes his wife to memorize his phone number for safety using kids’ flashcards.

Trouble Occurs After Wife Forgets Phone Numbers, Husband Then Applies "Kid's Teaching Technique" On Her
Not the actual photo.

'AITA For using a "kid's teaching technique" on my wife?'

My wife (36F) and I (38M) have been married for 12 years and have 3 kids (10, 8, & 5).

None of our kids have phones yet, so about 6 months ago we had a talk with all 3 of them to talk about

what they should do if they ever get lost, in danger, need help, etc.

One of the things we talked about was them knowing both mine and my wife's phone numbers.

I even made some flashcards with our numbers in addition to their grandparent's numbers so that they could memorize them.

We kind of turned it into a game to help them learn and it worked great.

During that time, it came up that my wife doesn't know my phone number by heart. In fact, she doesn't have any phone numbers memorized anymore.

I told her that she should at least have mine and someone else's (like her mom) memorized

in case she can't use her phone and she needs to get a hold of someone.

She told me I was overreacting and that it isn't a big deal. She then asked if I have her number memorized

and I railed it off to her without hesitation. Along with my mom's, dad's, and my younger brother's.

Well, a couple weeks ago, she was at a work event about an hour from where we live.

She somehow managed to lock her purse in her car. Her purse had her car keys and her phone inside.

So, she had no way to get home and no way to call me. Thankfully, a coworker of hers was willing to drive her home.

But then we had to pile all 3 kids into the car and drive an hour to get her car and then drive back home.

Of course, one thing that came up during that drive was that my wife had no way to contact me because she doesn't know my number.

If she had my number memorized, I could have brought her keys to her and saved her coworker the inconvenience.

She got very defensive about it which I'm sure was because of embarrassment.

But I used the situation as an example and told her that if it was an emergency instead, then it would be a much bigger problem.

She eventually agreed that she would try to memorize some phone numbers.

Naturally, since we already had flashcards at home for this very reason, I figured it would be a good way to help her learn.

I got the kids involved as well just to reinforce that memorization for them. Problem was that my wife couldn't memorize the numbers.

My kids knew them all by heart, even the 5-year-old. My wife got frustrated and embarrassed.

She said she would just write numbers on a piece of paper and put it in her purse.

I had to remind her that idea would do absolutely no good if she locked her purse in the car again or lost it.

She got upset with me and told me that no one memorizes numbers anymore and that even if it was an emergency, she would figure something out.

I told her that's not good enough for me. I told her I don't care how frustrating or embarrassing it is for her,

but she needs to memorize at least my number and someone else's.

She told me I am being a big jerk about this and making it into a huge deal when it doesn't need to be.

The husband has a solid point: in a real pinch like a lost phone during an emergency, having critical contacts memorized can make a huge difference. Relying solely on electronic devices leaves people vulnerable when tech fails, such as during power outages, lost phones, or no signal situations.

One key reason people skip memorizing numbers today ties to “digital amnesia,” where we offload info to our phones because we trust them to store it.

As Nancy Dennis, associate professor of psychology at Penn State University, explains: “Without a doubt technology has transformed our lives and has also seemingly altered the way our brains work… that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” She notes this reliance frees the brain for deeper thinking, but it comes with risks like forgetting how to reach loved ones without a device.

Broadening out, family safety often hinges on these basics. Surveys show many adults can’t recall even close family numbers without their phone, heightening vulnerability in crises.

For instance, a 2015 study on digital amnesia found that 44% of people use smartphones as their primary memory for important details, and many panic at the thought of losing that access. In emergencies, quick access to help matters, whether calling a spouse or emergency services.

Yet the husband’s method drew fire: turning it into a “kids’ lesson” with flashcards and involving the children made his wife feel demeaned and compared unfavorably to a 5-year-old.

Relationship experts warn against treating a spouse like a child, as it erodes equality and breeds resentment. When one partner lectures or “teaches” the other patronizingly, it shifts the dynamic from partnership to parenting, which exhausts both sides.

The Reddit crowd mostly called him out for delivery over intent, suggesting alternatives like private practice, mnemonics, or even a engraved bracelet instead of public humiliation. Some noted not everyone memorizes numbers easily; different learning styles exist, and pressure can backfire.

A balanced fix? Drop the flashcards showdown, apologize for the embarrassment, and collaborate on low-pressure ways forward like associating numbers with meaningful patterns or repeating them during calm moments. Ultimately, it’s about mutual safety without power struggles.

See what others had to share with OP:

Some people judge the OP as YTA mainly for the way he handled the situation, especially using flashcards like he was teaching a child.

andromache97 − "Naturally, since we already had flashcards at home for this very reason, I figured it would be a good way to help her learn.

I got the kids involved as well just to reinforce that memorization for them. Problem was that my wife couldn't memorize the numbers.

My kids knew them all by heart, even the 5-year-old. My wife got frustrated and embarrassed."

Info: have you tried anything else? Continuing to force your wife to do flash cards when she is already frustrated and humiliated is only going to further frustrate and humiliate...

Maybe approach her with a little more sympathy for her frustration and embarrassment and try to talk out a new solution

that doesn't make her feel like she's an i__ot compared to a 5 year old. Continuing to humiliate her is counterproductive.

Have you considered that involving the children in the activity, while helpful for them,

is actually what contributed to your wife's frustration and embarrassment and that led to her discouragement?

ETA: humiliation is just a very powerful feeling that can make people behave irrationally.

It's natural to want to AVOID being embarrassed. Try to help make this less humiliating for her.

Sanity_Cant_Be_Found − I understand what you were trying to do but YTA for how you went about it.

Your wife is not your child so you should probably stop treating her like she is.

If she can’t remember your phone number then get her a bracelet or necklace with it on there.

Believe it or not, not everybody learns the same way and not everyone is capable of remembering 10 digit numbers let alone multiple phone numbers.

The worst part about this whole scenario is you did all of this in front of your children which makes you an even bigger AH. Like,

1. You lectured your wife like you were her father in the car in front of your kids

2. You attempted to “teach” your wife like you do your children in front of your kids

3. Then you shamed her and argued with her about her inability to memorize the numbers in front of your kids.

So your kids learned your phone number and how to talk to their mother like a child from you that day… smh

HerNameIsHernameis − Yeah it's not an unreasonable request, but good Lord.

By your own admission she struggled to memorize the numbers, and you continue to humiliate her with flash cards, in front of the kids?

I know it would upset me if I was being treated like this

Cent1234 − YTA. Naturally, since we already had flashcards at home for this very reason, I figured it would be a good way to help her learn.

Your wife realized that she created herself a lot of trouble; she can now figure out how to memorize your phone number herself.

She does not need you grinding her face in it by treating her as a literal child.

Lets be honest: if you'd forgotten something, and she busted out the flash cards to literally teach you a lesson, you'd not be pleased.

I told her that's not good enough for me. Too bad you don't get a say, holy s__t, this is some old timey patriarchal paterfamilias stuff.

I told her I don't care how frustrating or embarrassing it is for her, but she needs to memorize at least my number and someone else's.

Actually, she doesn't. Here's why: "But then we had to pile all 3 kids into the car and drive an hour to get her car and then drive back home....

She could have called a godd__n taxi.

SomeKindofName42 − YTA for the flash cards and bringing the kids in on it. She should memorize your number and at least one other one.

The way that you’re going about it is the a__hole territory. Esp bringing the kids in on it.

Deliberately humiliating your partner is not a good look. Encouraging your children in humiliating your partner is even worse.

Have you asked her what her plan is to memorize the number? Or have you just been lecturing or dictating to her what she needs to do?

[Reddit User] − YTA. Your post comes off as patronizing as s__t. Lecturing her otw to her car. Using a kids teaching technique. "Getting the kids involved."

Also just the way you write s__t. At this point I'm imagining you using a baby voice while "teaching" her.

I totally agree that she should memorize your number. But different people learn different ways,

and certainly not when they're feeling pressured or talked down to.

Some people agree the wife should memorize important phone numbers for safety reasons, but still criticize the OP’s approach.

InannasPocket − ESH. I agree that it's necessary she memorizes the number -

I learned the hard way (losing my phone on the airplane in between a connecting flight that was then very delayed,

ended up at the airport at 2am and accepting a ride home from a very kind stranger)

that it's important to have at least a couple important numbers memorized. It's honestly a safety issue.

But the way you went about it was demeaning, especially involving the kids.

At the very least, the moment she showed frustration you should have stopped.

I think you owe her an apology, and probably some time to calm down, then you can gently offer her suggestions for other strategies

(for me, what works is actually dialing or writing the numbers, flashcards would not work).

invah − This is the kind of dynamic you get when one person is technically right but the other person doesn't want to do it. Should your wife memorize your...

Yes, you are right but also she is a grown woman who is making decisions for herself.

That said, you don't have to be available to immediately drive her back to her car. You, also a grown person, get to make decisions for yourself.

You can

(a) have her make your phone number her pin number to her phone (which is how I taught my young son to memorize my phone number) or

(b) drop it. You won't stop being right even if you don't bring it up.

And when the next thing happens, you will both know she didn't do what she should have done.

Some people support the OP being NTA on the core issue that the wife should know important phone numbers.

Salty-Initiative-242 − NTA but I'm wondering if your wife has some learning disability affecting her ability to memorize numbers.

I agree with all your points, I've had to use my husband's phone number in many such situations.

But also, I've had to use my husband's phone number in SO many other situations,

I'd have to work to NOT memorize it - just registering my kid for school this year required putting his number on 3 separate forms.

Signing up for summer camp, music lessons, doctor's office; they ALL want his number too.

If I go pick up his meds at the pharmacy I have to give them the last 4 of his phone number.

honeybunchesofpwn − Flashcards ain't a "kids learning technique." They are a regular learning technique that plenty of fully functional adults use every day.

Learning and memorization doesn't come easy to everyone, so I get it,

but as an adult parent, sometimes you gotta do painful and annoying s__t for the benefit of the family.

I'd suggest finding other learning techniques and maybe giving your wife some private space to learn without fear of being judged or compared.

You're absolutely right that your wife should memorize some numbers, but you gotta help navigate the best path to help with her learning,

rather than just emphasizing how important it is and adding pressure.

NTA, but you will become one if you don't come at this from the angle of empathetic support and meet her where she's at.

In the end, the husband raises a valid safety concern, but his heavy-handed “teaching” approach turned a practical fix into a humiliating standoff.

Do you think insisting on memorization is fair for family preparedness, or did he overstep by treating his wife like one of the kids? How would you handle a spouse resisting something you see as essential? Drop your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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