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When a Promised “Day Off” Turns Into a 19-Hour Solo Parenting Marathon

by Charles Butler
December 20, 2025
in Social Issues

Parenting a newborn is essentially an endurance sport where the finish line keeps moving. Just when you think you have found a rhythm, one sleepless night knocks everything off balance. It is a time when promises of “breaks” become more valuable than gold.

A Reddit user recently shared a chaotic weekend that spiraled out of control. It involved missed curfews, fast food at dawn, and a desperate need for sleep. When his wife’s night out went significantly overtime, he took a stand that left the internet divided.

This story highlights how fragile patience can be when sleep deprivation kicks in. It also questions what fair play really looks like when both parents are running on empty. Let us explore this messy, relatable slice of family life.

To set the stage, we have a couple navigating the choppy waters of life with a two-month-old baby. They had a clear plan to trade “off-duty” days to keep things fair. Unfortunately, the wife’s night out went very differently than expected.

The Story

When a Promised "Day Off" Turns Into a 19-Hour Solo Parenting Marathon
Not the actual photo

AITA I locked myself in the basement for 4 hours and didn't help my wife with the baby?

I(30m) and my wife(29f) have been married for 4 years now. we have a 2 month old daughter. My wife is a SAHM and I work as a software engineer.

I work remotely so it hasn't been that awful to split responsibilities. We decided that we would be taking turns this weekend to take time for ourselves.

Yesterday, my wife went with her friends for a girls' day out. She said she'd be back by around 8 pm

and to not wait for her to eat dinner together. At around 8:30 pm I called her because she still hadn't come home.

She told me her friends were planning to have a sleepover as well and she requested me to take care of our baby tonight.

Before I could reply, she hung up on me. The thing is our daughter, Rose, is colic so she doesn't sleep well.

we usually take turns taking care of her because she cries a lot and it is very hard for one person to watch over her.

I had to stay up all night yesterday with Rose. My wife came home at 4 am and she was completely drunk.

she just blacked out on the bed immediately after coming home. At around 8 am, I got us fries, nuggets, burgers, and drinks for both of us(a

strawberry milkshake and cold coffee for myself; a blueberry soda and espresso for her). At around 9 am my wife woke up and said

she felt very sick and asked me if I could take care of Rose for a few more hours so that she could eat breakfast

and rest for a little bit. I was exhausted at that point because I hadn't slept all night yesterday but agreed.

I was really annoyed with her at that point though because today was supposed to be a break for me and her getting drunk

wasn't part of the plan. We both had breakfast and she went back to bed. I was scrolling insta while waiting for my wife to wake up.

At 1 pm, she hadn't woken up yet and I ended up having to cancel my lunch plan with my friends.

I was beyond angry at that point but decided to wait for her to wake up instead of waking her up.

She finally woke up at 3 pm. I handed Rose to my wife and told her I'm going to the basement to watch a movie

and take a nap. I also asked her not to disturb me until I came out on my own unless there was an emergency.

I made myself a few grilled cheese sandwiches and took the strawberry shake with me to the basement.

I set up an air mattress and some pillows, then locked the basement door. Then I watched a few episodes of my favorite show.

ended up falling asleep midway through the show and woke up around 7 pm to 40 missed calls from my wife.

when I went up to check on her and the baby, she said that I was very irresponsible and rude for leaving her alone

with the baby for so long. I got mad and told her "at least I didn't get blackout drunk and leave you to take care

of a colic baby for more than a day on your own without any sleep." She started crying and told me I was horrible for guilting her like that.. AITA?

Wow, reading this makes my own eyelids feel heavy. You can practically feel the exhaustion radiating off the screen. Parenting a colicky baby is incredibly draining, and honestly, both parents sounded like they were at their absolute breaking point.

It is really hard to fault the husband for needing a moment of quiet. He kept the baby alive and fed for nearly an entire day while his own plans evaporated. However, the breakdown in communication here is just sad. The drinking until dawn creates a trust issue that goes deeper than just missed sleep.

Expert Opinion

This scenario is a classic case of what psychologists call “scorekeeping,” but with dangerous stakes. When partners stop viewing themselves as a team and start counting hours of suffering, resentment builds quickly.

According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine, sleep deprivation in new parents can have the same cognitive impairment as intoxication. When you add actual alcohol to the mix, the safety of the infant becomes a serious concern. The wife’s decision to stay out so late while leaving her partner with a colicky infant breached a “psychological contract” of trust.

Relationship experts at The Gottman Institute emphasize the need for “attunement.” This means being aware of your partner’s stress levels. In this story, that awareness was completely missing. The husband accommodated his wife’s recovery, but she seemingly failed to acknowledge his marathon shift.

Dr. Sarah Allen, a psychologist specializing in maternal mental health, notes that new mothers often feel a desperate need to reclaim their pre-baby identity. “This can sometimes lead to overcorrection,” she explains. “A mom might party harder than she intends to because she is starving for freedom.”

However, accountability is key. By calling her husband irresponsible after he covered for her, the wife likely engaged in “defensive projection.” She felt guilty, and instead of apologizing, she attacked. This family needs to reset their boundaries before resentment becomes a permanent houseguest.

Community Opinions

The online neighborhood gathered quickly to support the tired dad. Most people felt that fair is fair, and his actions were a necessary survival tactic.

Readers focused on the broken promise regarding time and responsibility.

ExpressionMundane244 − They both needed the day off. They had a deal. She broke the deal. He was very nice to her

and give her more free hours from HIS own time. And yet she cant deal with her own baby for an afternoon?

terayonjf − She abandoned the responsibility and didn't even have the decency

to communicate her plans properly just repeatedly leave you in positions where you had no choice.

Some pointed out that looking after your own child shouldn’t be seen as a burden you can’t handle for four hours.

digi_captor − NTA and I assure you, if you were a woman complaining about your husband going out to drink until 4am and getting drunk and irresponsible like this, there...

Mom is a SAHM, needs a break. But, OP is exausted too! . He was taking care of his baby (who doesnt sleep well) for more than 24H all alone!

People were genuinely worried about the state the mother was in.

Cavolatan − Your wife is so wrong... first for staying out until four, second for drinking so hard she was still feeling bad at 1 pm...

If you can afford a night nanny for a couple nights it might be worth paying for some respite.

[Reddit User] − I'm single, no kids, and never have I ever drunkenly gone to an adult sleepover...

It'd be a while different story if you didn't have a newborn, and she kept you posted as she got too drunk to parent that night.

The morning fast food run caught some attention for being unconventional.

cmajka8 − Slightly off topic here but did you say you got burgers, fries, and milkshakes at 8 am? !

Users noted how this would look if the roles were reversed.

RemozThaGod − She started crying and told me I was horrible for guilting her like that... Pot? Have you met Kettle? ... I would be livid.

Ok-Classic8323 − NTA definitely not the AH. She is taking the p__s, sorry you have every right to be angry.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you find yourself in a spot where one partner drops the ball, pause before reacting. Anger usually makes us want to “even the score,” but that rarely helps in the long run.

Start by prioritizing safety above everything else. If a parent is unable to care for a child due to substance use or fatigue, call in outside help if possible. Once everyone is rested and sober, have a calm “after-action review.” Use “I feel” statements to explain the hurt. Say things like, “I felt abandoned when plans changed without notice,” rather than “You were irresponsible.” This keeps the focus on rebuilding trust.

Conclusion

Parenting is messy, and we all have moments we aren’t proud of. This dad claimed his time in the basement to recharge, and the internet rallied behind him. It serves as a reminder that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for survival.

Do you think the husband went too far by locking the door, or was it his only option? How would you balance freedom and responsibility with a newborn? Let’s keep this conversation supportive and open in the comments.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 23/29 votes | 79%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/29 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/29 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 6/29 votes | 21%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/29 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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