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Woman Chooses Addiction Over Her Own Children, Whom Single Sister Refuses To Raise

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Family are the people whom one could count on when they encounter hardship. Notably when their children need looking after. Yet, in some cases, help cannot be provided. Especially when the mother of those children is a troublesome addict.

This Redditor’s family usually jumps in: cash, cars, babysitting. But she’s done after stolen money, drugs stashed in her home, and sketchy strangers pushed her limit.

Now, her parents are piling on, begging her to play stand-in mom, and the drama’s sizzling hot. Reddit’s buzzing – is she heartless for refusing to raise her sister’s kids, or is her boundary rock-solid?

Woman refuses to raise kids of the sister who chooses addiction over her own children.

Woman Chooses Addiction Over Her Own Children, Whom Single Sister Refuses To Raise
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for refusing to raise my sister's kids while she chooses addiction?'

I (35F, single, no kids) have a sister (33F) who’s been an addict for 10+ years.

She has 3 kids but refuses to admit she has a problem, so the family always steps in when she disappears.

She’s had DUIs, wrecked cars, gone missing for weeks at a time (even while pregnant),

and constantly breaks my parents’ hearts. We’ve enabled her for years - money, cars, childcare - but this year I stopped.

She stole from me, snuck drugs into my house, and brought unsafe people around. I took my car back, cut her off, and my family was pissed at me.

Recently she vanished for 3 weeks, no word to anyone, not even her kids. When she popped back up, she acted like nothing happened.

My dad took the kids temporarily, but now my parents are pressuring me to take them full-time since I’m “in the same generation” as my sister.

Meanwhile, I have 2 other siblings they don’t pressure.

I love my nieces/nephews, but I cannot be their full-time caregiver.

I’m single, don’t have childcare resources, no financial help, and I didn’t choose to have kids.

My therapist says it’s okay to say no, but my family is guilt-tripping me nonstop.

AITA for refusing to take them in when their mom chooses addiction over them?

Edit #1: I think I feel guilty bc I don't want the kids to grow up and resent me bc I didn't take them in.

I don't want them to feel unwanted bc my mom reminds them that she doesn't want to care for them daily and is unashamed of it.

Edit #2: Thanks for all the suggestions! I wanted to clear up a few things... I have called CPS 3 times this year for neglect

and to document her addiction in hopes they will offer her some mandated help and to protect the kids when they are in her care.

My other 2 siblings are men. The children's father is not a viable option. He, also, is an addict, distributes and is in between homes.

Final update: Thank you everyone that has commented and left helpful suggestions...

It has really helped! I found out today that the father's girlfriend called CPS on her for neglect and concern.

CPS went out and investigated and found nothing wrong with her living situation and she passed the drug test.

I love my sister and I want her to succeed in life, but I know that she can be very manipulative in these situations.

She still does not acknowledge her substance abuse and refuses to get help. I will be keeping my boundaries, standing firm and continuing with therapy.

Thanks again!

This Redditor’s caught in a tug-of-war between love for her nieces and nephews and a life she’s fought to keep her own.

Her sister’s addiction, marked by DUIs, disappearing acts, and stolen trust, has left the family scrambling.

The parents’ plea for her to step up as a full-time caregiver feels like a plot twist nobody asked for, especially when her brothers get a free pass. So, what’s driving this mess, and how does it reflect bigger family dynamics?

Addiction’s a beast that claws at everyone around it. The Redditor’s sister has been spiraling for years, leaving her kids in a cycle of instability.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, about 8% of U.S. adults struggle with substance use disorders, often impacting family structures.

Here, the sister’s refusal to seek help forces the family into a pattern of enabling – covering her bills, watching her kids, hoping she’ll change. But enabling can backfire, prolonging the problem rather than fixing it.

Now, why’s the Redditor the family’s go-to? Gender might play a sneaky role. Her brothers aren’t getting the same heat, which smells like an outdated assumption that women are “natural” caregivers.

Dr. John Townsend, a psychologist and author of Boundaries, nails it: “Saying no to unreasonable demands isn’t selfish – it’s essential for healthy relationships.”

The Redditor’s therapist echoes this, urging her to protect her mental health. By refusing to take on her sister’s kids, she’s not abandoning them. She’s rejecting a role she’s unprepared for and didn’t choose.

This situation screams broader issues about family roles and responsibility. When addiction’s in the mix, families often fall into traps of guilt, blame, or overcompensating.

The parents’ pressure on the Redditor, while ignoring her brothers, highlights how families can unfairly lean on one member.

A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 60% of siblings in crisis-heavy families report unequal caregiving expectations, often tied to gender or proximity.

Here, the Redditor’s single status and “same generation” label make her the easy target.

So, what’s the move? Calling Child Protective Services (CPS), as the Redditor has done, is a start to ensure the kids’ safety without her becoming their default parent.

Family therapy could help untangle this knot, setting clear roles for everyone.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many comments say that OP is not responsible for raising her sister’s children, it’s the parents’ and sister’s problem.

stitchlady420 − NTA and from someone who ended up helping the parents raise another siblings kids, I can say don’t do it.

You will feel all the guilt when those kids derail and at least one will considering what they are living.

All the guilt won’t change the situation and at the end of the day they weren’t your kids to raise.

Bitter-Position-3168 − One word : NO (a complete sentence).

Don’t mess your life up. You are the winner. They are the losers. Misery love company. That’s not your responsibility.

spaced2259 − This is your sister and your parents problem. Tell them you are bowing out as you just don't have the resources yo help anymore.

Some point out that the parents are enabling the sister’s behavior and unfairly pressuring OP.

[Reddit User] −Therapy has taught me boundaries are good. You know who has terrible boundaries?

Addicts and their enablers! Sadly your parents are enabling and now want you to take that over.

javel1 − No and it's just them enabling her again. She will take them when she wants then crash her life again.

Are you the only other female? Is that why you are the "best" option?

TNorwhatyouwill − YWBTAH if you took them when you don't want to. Kids are smart and would sense the strain.

It's not about how much you love them. Your parents are the ones responsible for having enabled their daughter.

This is, and should be, on them.

A few users think the parents or authorities should take responsibility for the children’s welfare.

MidnightLatte45 − The real question is why aren't your parents trying to get full custody. Sounds like your sister shouldn't.

RecipeOpen2606 − Sounds like you should contact child protective services.

LibrarianNeat1999 − Tell your family if they force the kids on you, you will call CPS and they will go to foster care. That should store them.

Some question gender dynamics in the family’s expectations.

TarzanKitty − Do your two other siblings who aren’t being pressured happen to have penises?

Malice_A4thot − NTA, of course, but wtf is up with your mother??

Am I reading that right? She tells the kids every day that she doesn’t want them?!

This Redditor’s standing at a crossroads, heartstrings tugged by her nieces and nephews but weighed down by a life she’s built on her terms.

She can’t be blamed for saying no to raising her sister’s kids, as it is a boundary forged from years of broken trust and chaos.

Was her refusal fair, or should she step up despite the unfair pressure? How would you juggle family loyalty when addiction’s calling the shots?

Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this discussion going!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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