Woman Lets Her Boyfriend Come Over Every Day Even Though Her Roommate Wears A Hijab

Living with roommates can be a tricky balancing act, especially when personal beliefs and boundaries come into play. For one Redditor, a clash over house rules erupted when her Muslim roommate expressed frustration over having to wear a hijab all the time because her boyfriend was visiting.

While the Redditor’s boyfriend often stays over, she didn’t realize that her roommate felt uncomfortable wearing the hijab in her own home. The situation escalated when her roommate requested a limit on how often her boyfriend could visit, but the Redditor refused, arguing that her roommate’s boyfriend was over every day without complaint.

Is she in the wrong for not respecting her roommate’s wishes, or is this a matter of unfair double standards? Keep reading to see how others weigh in on this tense living situation.

A woman’s roommate asks her to limit visits from her boyfriend out of respect for her hijab, but she disagrees, leading to conflict

In shared living situations, the challenge of balancing personal freedom and respect for others’ beliefs is a universal emotional truth. In this case, the person (OP) isn’t simply deciding when to allow their boyfriend over; they’re navigating a clash of cultural norms, personal boundaries, and fairness in a communal home.

From the OP’s perspective, it seems plainly unfair: one roommate’s boyfriend visits daily with no restrictions, yet the OP is asked to limit her own partner’s visits to twice a week.

That feels like a double standard. But it’s important to consider the Muslim roommate’s viewpoint: wearing the hijab at home when a male visitor is present isn’t just an arbitrary request; it reflects her faith-based commitment and comfort zone.

Her need to adjust her attire and behaviour in her own home speaks to a deeper internal expectation of respect for her identity and boundaries.

Psychologically speaking, this is about more than annoyance at a frequent guest, it touches on cognitive dissonance and identity security. The Muslim roommate likely experiences unease when her private space feels inconsistent with her faith routine, especially while others freely invite male visitors.

Meanwhile, the OP experiences frustration because the rules appear asymmetrical. Both feelings are valid. But the real friction arises when one person’s valid need for autonomy intersects with another’s equally valid need for cultural comfort and safety.

Expert insight from Marianna Pogosyan, Ph.D. (a lecturer in cultural psychology) sheds light on this: she explains that developing “cultural intelligence” (CQ), which includes motivational, cognitive, metacognitive and behavioural components, helps people interact respectfully across cultural divides.

In her article “The What, How and Why of Cultural Intelligence”, she underscores that high CQ allows individuals to adapt, learn from each other and manage environments where cultures overlap.

The OP’s living arrangement is essentially a microcosm of cultural intersection. By applying the lens of cultural intelligence, the OP could view the situation not just as unfair, but as an opportunity to adjust behaviour in shared space.

Recognising the Muslim roommate’s internal world (motivational/behavioral CQ) suggests the OP might create arrangements that honour her roommate’s comfort while still preserving the OP’s autonomy.

For example, discussing scheduled visit times, reducing overlap, or agreeing on certain spaces or times for male guests might demonstrate behavioural CQ in action. That doesn’t mean the OP sacrifices her freedom entirely, but rather acknowledges the shared home as a multicultural environment where adaptation enhances harmony.

In the end, this situation offers more than a roommate conflict; it invites reflection. When we live with others whose values differ, our actions ripple beyond our own lives. Respect and compromise don’t diminish our freedom; they enrich the collective space.

Check out how the community responded:

This group pointed out the hypocrisy of the roommate’s behavior

These commenters highlighted that the roommate’s actions contradict her religious beliefs

This group argued that the roommate’s demand for no male guests was unreasonable

These users suggested finding a compromise by having certain “no guest” days

These commenters emphasized the inconsistency in the roommate’s behavior

So, is OP in the wrong for continuing to have her boyfriend over regularly, or is her Muslim roommate being unfair?

While OP’s desire to have her boyfriend over isn’t unreasonable, the double standard in the situation where the roommate’s boyfriend can visit daily but OP’s boyfriend is restricted makes it clear that her roommate is the one imposing unnecessary rules. It’s important to respect each other’s boundaries, but fairness and consistency in a shared space are key.

What do you think? Was OP being unreasonable, or is her roommate’s request unfair? Share your thoughts below!