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Woman Threatens To Cancel Vacation Because Family Wants Her To Share A Room With Her Nieces—Internet Sides With Her

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

Planning a family vacation sounds fun—until someone assumes you’ll be bunking with toddlers.

One woman shared her story online after discovering her family expected her to share a room with her brother’s two young daughters on their upcoming trip. Everyone had paid their own way, and she had been looking forward to a relaxing break in a private room. Instead, she was handed the role of “aunt-on-duty”—and when she refused, all hell broke loose.

Was she wrong to want her own space, or were the real issues hiding beneath the surface of this seemingly small conflict?

Woman Threatens To Cancel Vacation Because Family Wants Her To Share A Room With Her Nieces—Internet Sides With Her

One woman’s fight for a private room on a family vacation led to accusations of selfishness and threats to cancel her ticket

'Wibta If I Cancelled My Vacation Ticket Because My Family Wants Me To Share A Room With My Nieces?'

I (F23) have been planning a family vacation with my older brother (M30) and his wife, my two nieces (F4 and F2) and my parents. Everyone is paying for their own tickets. The vacation is booked for February. We hadn't discussed room arrangements before, but I knew the room we'd be staying in would have three bedrooms.

So we discussed room arrangements yesterday, and my brother and parents just kind of assumed that I wouldn't mind sharing a room with my nieces, whilst my brother and his wife and my parents get their own rooms.

I said I didn't want to share a room with them, and said that they should be sleeping in my brother and SIL's room since they're their parents. My parents called me dramatic and said that it's not a big deal, and said that my nieces won't give me any trouble. I told them I don't care.

They said I'm being a bad aunt and told me to grow up. I told them if I don't get my own room I'll cancel my ticket, which would result in everyone else having to pay more or find someone else to go in my place because we got a group discount with the resort. My brother said I'm a whiny a**hole and accused me of being a narcissist.

Talk about a vacation plan that’s more cramped than a budget airline seat! This Redditor’s refusal to share a room with her young nieces on a family trip sparked a fiery clash, with her brother and parents branding her dramatic and selfish. Her threat to cancel, upping costs for all, feels drastic, but is she wrong for demanding her own space, or is her family dodging parental duty?

Vacations should balance everyone’s needs. Dr. Susan Newman, a family dynamics expert, notes in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Unfair expectations on family trips can breed resentment, especially when responsibilities are uneven”. The Redditor, paying her own way, expected equal treatment, but her family’s assumption she’d play babysitter ignores her right to relax. Young kids, as her parents claim, may not be “trouble,” but their early bedtimes and nighttime needs disrupt personal space.

Family trips often expose unequal roles. A 2022 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 30% of family vacations face tension over uneven responsibilities, particularly when childless members are tasked with childcare. The brother and sister-in-law’s push for a private room suggests they’re offloading parenting duties, while the parents’ dismissal of her concerns fuels the conflict. The meat-free food compromise shows some flexibility, but the room issue remains unresolved.

Could this have been less dramatic? A calmer explanation of her need for privacy might’ve opened dialogue, but her family’s accusations escalated things. Neutral advice? She should clarify her boundaries, propose splitting rooms differently (e.g., parents with nieces), and stick to her cancellation threat if pushed. Family therapy could help address favoritism. What do you think—selfish move or fair boundary?

Reddit’s vacation planners rallied behind the Redditor, slamming her family’s babysitting assumptions

A Reddit user argued the nieces belong with their parents, not the Redditor.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your nieces are 4 and 2. They should sleep in the room with their parents because of their age. If they were teens, I can understand giving them their own room. I think your brother and SIL just want a free babysitter.

I hate when people with kids want to go on vacation, bring their kids, and dump them on someone else. This is your vacation and you don’t have kids.

Abrassive_Sound mocked the family’s assumption, calling it free childcare.

Abrassive_Sound − Lmaoooo why the f**k would they think you 'wouldn't mind' sharing your vacation room with a 4 year old and literal toddler? Obviously NTA. Bro wanted free childcare and if your parents have a problem with you declining their door is wide f**king open.

A Reddit user criticized the parents’ hypocrisy, urging them to take responsibility.

[Reddit User] − They said I'm being a bad aunt and told me to grow up Can you tell THOSE KID'S PARENTS that they are bad parents and to grow up ?! I get that they probably want to have s** while on vacation but geez... they made the choice to have kids. They made the choice to bring them along. How is the consequences of all those choices should fall on you ?!

Key-Bit1208 suggested the parents take the nieces, warning of blindsiding tactics.

Key-Bit1208 − If it’s not a big deal to your parents, then they can share their room with their granddaughters. You’re paying your own way and should have complete control over your own room on vacation. No one wants to pay for a vacation where they end up being the free babysitter the whole time.

But don’t be surprised if they tell you ok just to keep you from canceling and then blindside you once you’re on vacation.

Obrina98 advised canceling to avoid being treated as “the help.”

Obrina98 − Back out of this unless you want to be 'the help.

Profmoxie highlighted the nieces’ nighttime disruptions, supporting the Redditor’s stance.

profmoxie − NTA Two and four-year-olds do not go to bed easily and don't stay asleep all night. You'll likely be dealing with them during the night. And they go to bed early so you'll be creeping around trying to be quiet in your own space when you get ready for bed.

The kids need to stay with their parents, or you cancel. Easy peasy. It does not make you a bad aunt to not want to room with them!

RaqMountainMama shared her own unfair vacation experiences, urging boundary-setting.

RaqMountainMama − NTA - I dealt with this too many times myself. Paid my fair share & got a couch or an air mattress because so & so was older, married, injured, whatever & needed a bed. Then when I was married & with small kids got the same treatment.

10 years of sharing the cost of the annual family ski trip & never slept in a bed. I'm telling you - mark your boundaries now, OP! & in future planning trips, make sure people know they are paying per bedroom not per person. You on your own may pay a little more but at least you get privacy. Your neices can sleep on air mattresses in their parent's room.

Cry_Original backed the Redditor’s right to a child-free vacation room.

Cry_Original − NTA - It's your vacation too and they are your brother's kids, not yours. Stick to your guns on this one!

Weddingwoes_andbohs recommended canceling outright to avoid ongoing drama.

weddingwoes_andbohs − I'd be canceling it immediately, don't tell them another thing, just do it and send the screenshot afterwards. You're gonna have a miserable time at this point, even if they cave and the kids sleep with their parents. There's definitely gonna be continuous drama about this and other things...

Crispix44 called the brother selfish, saying kids belong with their parents.

Crispix44 − NTA. If it’s no big deal to share a room with them, then surely their parents or grandparents should be doing it instead of you. My brother and sister in law don’t have kids, but I’d never try to make my kids share a room with them for a vacation. We actually usually give them the room farthest away from the kids lol. Your brother and sister in law are the ones being selfish.

It’s your vacation, your money, and your room. Wanting a peaceful space away from crying, kicking, and 6 AM wakeups doesn’t make you a bad aunt—it makes you an adult with common sense.

Your family may try to guilt you, call you names, or paint you as “difficult.” But in reality? They’re the ones being inconsiderate. If someone’s going to be “childish,” it shouldn’t be the one who’s not still wearing a pull-up.

So, if you need to cancel the trip and reclaim your sanity—do it. Your peace matters more than a group discount.

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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