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Woman Wants Her Sister To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Fiancé And In-Laws Say No

by Layla Bui
December 23, 2025
in Social Issues

In the midst of wedding planning, one 23-year-old bride faces a heartbreaking family conflict over who should walk her down the aisle. Having been raised by her older sister after their mother passed away, the bride feels her sister is the only one who truly deserves to take on that role, despite traditional expectations.

Her fiancé and his family, however, are insistent that the honor should go to a man specifically, his father. The bride is now at a crossroads, caught between honoring her sister’s pivotal role in her life and respecting her fiancé’s wishes for a traditional wedding.

The tension has been mounting, with family members weighing in on what’s “appropriate.” The bride’s decision to hold onto her vision for her wedding has sparked criticism from her in-laws, leading her to question if she’s being unreasonable.

Should she compromise, or is it her right to make this day reflect her personal history? Keep reading to find out how this conflict plays out.

A woman insists on having her sister walk her down the aisle, despite objections from her fiancé and his traditional family

Woman Wants Her Sister To Walk Her Down The Aisle, Fiancé And In-Laws Say No
not the actual photo

'AITA for letting my sister walk me down the aisle despite my fiance and his family's objections?'

I (23F) was raised by my older half sister (32F).

I never met my dad and our mom OD'd when I was 10 and my sister was 19.

My sister's dad was still in her life and was willing to support her, but not me.

My sister chose to be my guardian and her father's family went low-contact with her as a result. In order to raise me she gave up a lot;

her relationship with her father, college, her 20s, and so much more.

A few months ago I got engaged and I told my sister that in addition to being my maid of honor,

I also wanted her to be the one to walk me down the aisle.

All my life she's had to fulfill so many roles for me -- big sister, mother, father, friend -- that it only felt right that

those multiple roles be honored on one of the biggest days of my life.

My sister was ecstatic and so was I, but when I brought it up with my fiance he objected.

My future in-laws are very traditional and my fiance had always expected that his wedding would be a very traditional white wedding.

He said that it was great that my sister was my MOH, but that her having two roles wasn't

and that it wasn't appropriate for her to walk me down the aisle since that's usually done by a man.

Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away since I don't have any male relatives.

I told him that I appreciate his father being willing to fill that role, but that the one who make me the person I am is my sister

and so it's right that she be the one to give me away. It turned into an argument that's spread to my in-laws.

My MIL called me a few days ago to say that although she understand how important my sister is to me,

it's also my fiancé's wedding and I shouldn't be putting my sister before him on his day.

I definately heard her on that, but this is still important to me.

At this point, my sister has even said that she doesn't mind just being the MOH

and that she doesn't want to turn my happy day into something stressful.

So now it's just me holding out and being stubborn, but I really don't want to concede on this point. Am I being the AH?

EDIT I did not expect this to blow up like this and haven't been able to read through all of your verdicts and comments yet,

but I wanted to clarify on some of the inquiries which I've seen repeated so far. Are the in-laws contributing to the wedding?

Yes. In fact, they're paying for about 75% of it since I'm still in school and don't have the money

to put towards a wedding on the scale that fiance wanted.

Does your fiance have sisters? No; he has two younger brothers. Did he ask your sister for your hand?

He did, actually. She also helped him custom design the engagement ring.

She showed me their group text and at one point they spent three weeks trying to decide between five different diamonds.

"Maybe I should just propose with an infinity gauntlet". It was very sweet and cute.

What about when you have children/Have you talked about children?

Because of a medical condition, I am infertile, though neither of us feel a particular strong urge to be parents anyway.

But we also know we're still young and that may change, but even if it does it would be very far in the future.

I know all to well that things happen, people leave or fall down or die

and so even if we got to the point of wanting to adopt,

it would have to be when I'm financial stable enough that even alone I'd be able to support and care for a child

without it being major blow to my or the child's quality of life. Could you walk down the aisle by yourself?

That was my sister's suggestions when she said she was fine just being the MOH, but I rejected it.

Because of her, I never walked alone on the worst days of my life so I'm definately not going to walk alone on the happiest.

Your sister is amazing!

She is, as far as I'm concerned, the definition of strength and love

and I am collecting all of the kind kind things you all have said to show her because she doesn't realize how amazing she is

and it's a gd crime. Please update us

I absolutely will. You've all given me a lot to think about, including underlying motivations and larger implications.

I'm going to be taking a few days to sit with that and with myself and my feelings,

but I promise to make an update about how I've decided to move forward.

From childhood memories that heal to ceremonial moments that honor them, some occasions become far more than just tradition.

For many people, weddings are not just a formal event but a rite of passage filled with layers of meaning. That emotional weight grows especially when one person has given so much of themselves to shape who someone has become.

In this case, OP’s wish for her sister to walk her down the aisle isn’t about defying norms so much as honoring the person who stayed when others left.

At the heart of this conflict is more than a disagreement over custom. It’s a clash between the emotional significance of a life‑shaping bond and conventional expectations upheld by family and culture.

The OP grew up without a father and endured deep loss early in life. Her sister didn’t just step in; she became a mother, guardian, emotional anchor, and unwavering presence.

When OP asks her to walk her down the aisle, she’s asking for something symbolic and meaningful: the acknowledgment of the person whose sacrifices created her sense of safety and identity. That emotional reality often carries more weight for someone who has lived through abandonment and loss.

Ceremonies and rituals carry psychological meaning beyond their outward traditions. As Psychology Today explains, family rituals are “patterned communication events by which people in close relationships honor what they regard as sacred” and these moments are often ripe for reflection, adaptation, and deep emotional expression.

Wedding planning itself is also known to stir deep emotions, stress, and negotiations of identity. Psychology Today highlights how the process can reveal deeper fears, attachment needs, and unmet expectations in couples navigating this major transition.

In this light, OP’s insistence begins to make psychological sense. Rituals, whether deeply traditional or uniquely personalized, help individuals make sense of transitions and affirm important relationships.

Weddings are a form of what social scientists call a “rite of passage,” a moment when people are symbolically and publicly recognized as entering a new stage of life. ncfr.org

OP wants to include her sister in a way that reflects not only affection but acknowledgment of the emotional labor, protection, and love that shaped her resilience.

At the same time, the fiancé’s family sees the wedding through the lens of tradition and cultural expectation. They are not necessarily rejecting OP’s sister out of malice but are anchored in the familiar scripts of how weddings “should” look.

That kind of tension is common when two people and two families bring different histories and values to a ceremony. Weddings, after all, are meant not just to celebrate a couple but to connect extended networks in a shared moment of meaning.

This is where empathy and compromise matter most. OP’s wish is deeply personal and rooted in a lifetime of emotional investment. Her fiancé’s concerns, shaped by tradition and family expectations, also deserve respectful consideration.

A conversation that centers the meaning behind OP’s request, rather than the tradition itself, may help bridge the divide. Exploring creative ways to honor her sister’s role without dismissing her future family’s feelings could lead to a ceremony that feels authentic to both partners, a moment of connection rather than conflict.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

This group of Redditors supported the OP for standing firm in wanting to honor her sister

JayBilzeriansPillow − Tell your MIL that your FIL can walk your fiancé down the aisle if he wants to give someone away.

Or better yet, strongly consider not marrying into this family because they’re the assholes.

ETA: NTA. Holy comments, Batman! I was not expecting so many replies. Thank you for the awards!

[Reddit User] − that it wasn't appropriate for her to walk me down the aisle since that's usually done by a man.

Just because something is done one way, does not mean it cannot be done in a different way.

This is VERY telling of how he sees gender roles.

I have to question if other things like this have come up in the duration of your relationship.

Does he help with house work? Laundry? Dishes? Or do you do them because they are "woman" chores. NTA and I would die on this hill.

[Reddit User] − NTA, and this is a hill to die on in my opinion.

How is it that you're "holding out and being stubborn"? Couldn't you say that about your fiancé?

He wants to take away something meaningful to you because he wants things to appear his way - that's entirely self-serving.

You're not putting your sister before him, you're putting her on your side, right where you want her.

This is weird controlling behavior on your fiancé's part, and it gives a very bad vibe about him and his family.

What happens down the road when/if you decide to have children?

If you pick out a child's name, does he get to veto that and replace it with a name of his choosing, too?

What's your role going to be in his "traditional" household, and is that ok with you?

I'm not saying to end things over this disagreement,

but do take a good look at where you are and where you're heading before going forward.

madelinegumbo − NTA I would have serious reservations about marrying someon

who was blatantly dismissive of my plan to honor the person who raised me.

These users warned that the fiancé’s behavior could signal future control and disrespect, advising the OP to reconsider the relationship

EtherPhreak − I hate to say it, but you may want to put the wedding on hold and reevaluate if this is a family you wish to marry into.

The "Traditional" roles could start small, but become something you hate. NTA, and I wish you the best of luck.

BriefHorror − NTA don't marry him. This will be the rest of your life. Your sister will never be respected because she isn't a man.

"She walks me down the isle or I don't walk down that isle. " I wouldn't even give him that much.

ReviewOk929 − NTA 1. What a wonderful way to honor your sister and the roles she has played in your life

2. Your partners inability to grasp something so significant to you is disturbing

3. The fact that your MIL and probs partner think you are putting yourself ahead of his/their feelings would make me run a mile from them all

This group emphasized the importance of the OP putting her sister first before the wedding

SnooPets8873 − NTA honestly, him running to his family and them coming

after you on his behalf makes me a little hesitant about your current communication and conflict resolution within your relationship.

You clearly have an imbalance of family support. I’m worried you are going to be completely crushed under their collective weight.

Are you always going to have to give in because they get a vote and outnumber you?

JuliaX1984 − NTA Die on this hill. Your fiance and in laws value a pointless, misogynistic tradition more than your feelings.

Don't choose a pointless, misogynistic tradition over your sister.

Next-Wishbone1404 − Up until the point you arrive at the altar you SHOULD put your sister before him.

After you marry, you put him first. But you aren't married yet. This is LITERALLY what this tradition means. NTA.

Edit: At least it's what it means NOW. I hope your sister isn't exchanging you for livestock or anything.

These Redditors called out the absurdity of the gendered expectations and reassured the OP that it’s her choice to decide who walks her down the aisle

AnonymousTruths1979 − NTA It is your fiance's wedding, but it's also yours.

Your fiance can choose who is there/in what roles to support/represent him and his family.

YOU get to choose who is there/in what roles to support/represent you and your family.

You are being told by your soon-to-be family that a male must "give you away"

because their idea of traditional gender roles trumps your own family situation/identity.

I can almost guarantee they will not back down on their position,

however, so you will almost definitely need to either relent or deal with the fallout afterward... possibly even during the wedding.

If you agree with the importance of the gender roles, I'd say do what shuts them up. But, if you don't agree...

You need to decide if that's a belief set you want to marry into.

yas_anastasia − assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away.

That doesn't even make sense in the context of their tradition, lmao. NTA.

zalkaare − NTA- Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away

since I don't have any male relatives. Literally laughed out loud at this.

Hour-Performance-951 − NTA You realize that this is a test case for how future interactions between you and your new family will go?

What you do here determines how it'll go next time.

One-Appointment-3107 − NTA. Your in-laws are, frankly, cruel and I would have great reservations marrying into this family

So, what do you think? Was OP right to insist on her sister walking her down the aisle, or should she have compromised for the sake of tradition? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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