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Worker Refuses to Give Up Reunion with Army Sister for Coworker’s $2,000 Trip

by Charles Butler
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all navigated the tricky waters of workplace vacation calendars. It usually starts with a polite race to the sign-up sheet, hoping nobody else wants the same sunny week in July. In most offices, there is a golden rule that keeps the peace: “first come, first served.”

It is fair, simple, and usually foolproof, until someone decides their plans are more important than the rules.

A Reddit user recently found themselves in a high-stakes tug-of-war over time off. After carefully booking a week to see their sister, who serves in the Army, a coworker suddenly appeared with non-refundable tickets for the same dates and a lot of entitlement.

What followed was a messy clash involving managers, expensive flights, and a frantic climb up the corporate ladder to find someone who still respected company policy.

The Story:

Worker Refuses to Give Up Reunion with Army Sister for Coworker’s $2,000 Trip
Not the actual photo

AITA for getting my coworker’s $2,000 vacation taken away?

Some background, my little sister is in the Army.

I haven’t seen her since August for a funeral. She hasn’t really been able to take leave because she was flagged for her weight.

Finally, she tells me in early December that she got approved to go on leave at the end of January,

so I immediately went and put in for my vacation time at work. I haven’t stopped talking about it

and made everyone aware that I was taking this time to see my sister. My job has a super strict first come, first served policy about taking vacations.

My department only has 8 people and it’s considered a trade so you can’t just pull anyone off the street to cover for one of us,

so only one person is allowed to take vacation at a time. This past week, one of my coworkers asks off for the exact same week as me,

saying he already spent $2,000 to go out of the country and our bosses “better approve the time off because of how expensive it was.”

Our boss sees the request and pulls him aside telling him that he can’t have it because I asked for it. Coworker cries to the big boss and big boss

gives it to him, telling my boss to tell me to take my vacation “some other time.” I went to the big boss explaining the situation, he didn’t do anything,

so I went over his head. The DM was appalled and basically took away my coworker’s vacation, wrote my store manager for breaking policy and

told my coworker if he calls in more than once that week to go on said vacation, he’ll get fired.

I didn’t mean to get everyone in trouble, but I asked for it over a month ago and I want to see my sister. Am I the a__hole here?

As someone who plans vacations months in advance, this story sent my anxiety levels through the roof. It is incredibly frustrating when you follow every single rule, communicate clearly, and get everything approved, only to have someone else swoop in and demand you change your life because they skipped the paperwork.

The OP wasn’t just fighting for a beach trip; they were fighting for a rare chance to see a sibling who serves in the military. Those windows of time are precious and unpredictable. While it is unfortunate that the coworker might lose money, it serves as a chaotic reminder that asking for forgiveness is not always better than asking for permission, especially in a small team where coverage is tight.

Expert Opinion

This workplace conflict highlights a concept organizational psychologists call “procedural justice.” This refers to the perception that the processes used to make decisions are consistent, accurate, and ethical. When a manager suddenly overrides a “first come, first served” policy to favor an employee who cried the loudest, they aren’t just rearranging a calendar; they are breaking the team’s trust.

According to Harvard Business Review, fairness is a primary driver of employee well-being. When employees feel processes are unfair, burnout and turnover rates skyrocket. In this case, the immediate supervisor failed by prioritizing the coworker’s financial risk (the $2,000 tickets) over the established agreement with the OP.

Workplace consultant and author Alison Green often notes that managers create toxicity when they treat “lack of planning” as an emergency for everyone else. By allowing the coworker to steamroll the OP, the manager was essentially punishing the responsible employee.

A study on “Workplace Favoritism” suggests that even one instance of shifting goalposts can demoralize a team. The District Manager likely intervened not just to help the OP, but to protect the company from a discrimination complaint or a precedent of chaos.

Ultimately, this story reinforces a vital professional boundary: your personal financial decisions do not grant you professional immunity. The coworker’s loss of $2,000 is painful, but it is a “tuition fee” for learning how to respect shared resources in a professional environment.

Community Opinions

The community rallied around the OP, largely agreeing that proper planning is part of being an adult. Readers were particularly frustrated by the managers who tried to bend the rules.

Many users pointed out that booking a trip without approval is a risky gamble that nobody should take.

Twizdom − NTA "Poor planning on your part constitutes no emergency on my own. "

SubjectiveAssertive − NTA - who the heck spends $2k on a holiday before checking they can get time off work?

[Reddit User] − NTA. You're coworker is definitely the a__hole here and he's also an i__ot for wasting his money on something he doesn't know will get approved

Commenters cheered the OP on for not folding under pressure from their direct supervisors.

BananaFrappe − NTA. You stood up for yourself and followed company policy. Good for you.

I'm envious because I would've probably just let them walk all over me, getting more and more bitter. LOL

[Reddit User] − NTA. You followed policy and your sister most likely can't move her leave since it's a pain to get it in the first place when you're military.

Hopefully this will teach your coworker to ask for time off before spending money on his vacations. It was poor planning on his part.

k0sherDILL − NTA. They have a very strict first come-first serve... The managers should have stuck to the policy.

Just because somebody spent money doesn’t mean they get to go around company policy.

Some wise readers advised the OP to stay sharp, as going over a boss’s head can lead to tension later.

Tokugawa − NTA - Just because your coworker fucked up and jumped the gun, it doesn't make you the a__hole.

But beware: You insisted they stick to the rules, so make sure you're following them... Expect some blowback for that.

One user shared a very similar story about refusing to bow to a demanding colleague.

[Reddit User] − NTA - your co-worker lost a $2000 vacation for himself... I had that happen to me once years ago at a job...

Tracy said, "Yeah, I booked plane tickets to see my sister in December and it's during the time you're out.

My tickets are non-refundable so you'll have to change your days off..."

She ended up having to buy new tickets for the following week and probably lost several hundred dollars in doing so.

Validation of Common Sense

Wyvner − This is like the epitome of a validation post. DAE think OP is bad for: 1) Following company protocol 2) Wanting to see his sister who has been...

[Reddit User] − NTA The coworker is, the big (but apparently not biggest) boss is as well.

I also wouldn't be convinced that the dumb twat actually spent $2000 in non-reimbursable fees already.

Could easily have been part of the b__ch move ruse he was trying to pull.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

Finding yourself in a scheduling war at work is stressful, but there are ways to handle it gracefully.

First, rely on the paper trail. Always put your time-off requests in writing or through an official portal. Having a timestamp proves you followed protocol. If a conflict arises, calmly present this evidence to your manager. It moves the conversation from “he said, she said” to objective facts.

Second, escalate with caution. Going over a boss’s head is sometimes necessary—like in this story—but it is the “nuclear option.” Before doing so, try to reason with your direct supervisor by explaining the impact of their decision (e.g., “Changing this now would cause me significant personal loss and violates our department’s policy”).

Finally, don’t internalize the guilt. Colleagues might use emotional tactics or mention money lost, but boundaries are healthy. You are not responsible for saving others from the consequences of their own assumptions.

Conclusion

This story is a chaotic reminder that policies exist for a reason—to prevent exactly this kind of emotional tug-of-war. The OP successfully defended their time with family, but the fallout in that office might last longer than any vacation.

Do you think the “first come, first served” rule should always apply, or should managers consider who has more money on the line?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 3/3 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/3 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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