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Young Mother Calls Out Her Mom For Abandoning Her During Intense Labor Contractions

by Jeffrey Stone
December 27, 2025
in Social Issues

A young mother’s world crumbled in the delivery room as contractions gripped her, relying on the one person she trusted most: her own mom, to stay by her side. Suddenly, Mom vanished for over an hour, claiming she needed air, then lashed out over the phone that this ordeal was her daughter’s burden alone.

At just 23, the new mom had depended on her parents’ help after splitting from the baby’s unreliable father. Her mother had eagerly stepped up as birth companion, yet grew oddly distant in the final stretch, sobbing over infant toys, snapping unexpectedly. When labor hit, Mom slipped away mid-process, leaving Dad to race in outraged, while relatives later defended her, insisting full presence was asking too far.

A new mother confronts her mom’s abandonment during labor, sparking debate on family expectations.

Young Mother Calls Out Her Mom For Abandoning Her During Intense Labor Contractions
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my mom she was wrong to leave me during my labor?'

I'm a 23yr old female, and I recently gave birth to a baby boy. My relationship with his father wasn't exactly a healthy one,

and so it was mutually decided that he wouldn't take a personal role in raising his baby.

Instead, I'd raise him with my mom and dad (58f and 60m).

My parents had never approved of the relationship and certainly didn't like my boyfriend.

Despite that, upon learning about my pregnancy they were absolutely amazing and provided me with a lot of support.

Naturally I asked my mom if she would be my birthing partner, and she happily accepted.

As the months went on however, my mom started becoming distant with me.

She was still wonderful and helped me so much with things like setting up a nursery in the spare room, rubbing my back when it ached

and providing advice, but something seemed colder about her. Upon asking my dad he told me I was being silly and that mom was fine.

One night I came downstairs only to see mom crying on the sofa and clutching one of the soft toys we'd bought for my baby.

She saw me and yelled at me to go upstairs and leave her be.

She expressed that she still wanted to be my birthing partner the next day and I perhaps stupidly glossed over it.

Soon enough the day came that I went into labor. I was concerned about mom's behavior but I wanted her with me, and she came into the delivery room.

Maybe an hour into my labor, my mom said she felt stifled and needed to get some air.

She was gone for over an hour and one of the nurses went to try and find her, but couldn't.

I rang her and told her she was wrong to have left me, and she screamed at me that my labor was my problem, not hers.

I hung up and basically spent the rest of my labor in tears. My dad came as fast as he could from work and was furious at my mom.

Some extended family members are now saying that I was cruel to my mom for expecting her to be there for the whole birth,

and they agreed with her that I shouldn't expect her to "fix my problem". I didn't agree but now I'm feeling guilty. Did I expect too much of my mom?

Welcoming a grandbaby supposed to be pure joy. Yet in this story, hidden tensions boiled over at the worst possible time, leaving everyone raw. The young mom’s pain is understandable. Labor is intense, and a birthing partner’s presence can make all the difference.

According to researcher Meghan A. Bohren and colleagues in a 2017 Cochrane review, “Continuous support during labour may improve outcomes for women and infants, including increased spontaneous vaginal birth, shorter duration of labour,” and decreased negative feelings about the childbirth experience, but when that support vanishes, it can feel like abandonment in a vulnerable moment.

However, Mom’s outburst hints at deeper resentment. She may have been grappling with grief over her daughter’s life choices, the loss of retirement freedom, or feeling thrust back into full-time parenting at 58. Many grandparents in similar situations face elevated stress, depressive symptoms, and poorer health when stepping in to help raise grandchildren, especially unexpectedly.

This ties into broader family dynamics in multigenerational homes, where unspoken expectations clash. Custodial grandparents often report higher risks of daily limitations and mental health challenges compared to peers, with researchers Joan Blustein and team noting, “Grandparents have a greater probability of elevated depressive symptoms when a grandchild is in their home, versus when a grandchild is not in their home.”

Many experts agree that grandparents may feel guilt over their adult child’s struggles or resentment about sacrificed plans, yet bottling it up leads to explosions, like walking out during labor.

The mom’s behavior – crying over baby toys, growing distant, then vanishing mid-labor and snapping that it was “your problem” – reveals layers of unspoken hurt and frustration bubbling beneath her earlier support. These quiet signs suggest overwhelming emotions she couldn’t voice, turning a milestone moment into heartbreak for both.

Neutral advice? Both sides could benefit from open talks, perhaps with a therapist. The daughter might acknowledge her parents’ unexpected load, while Mom reflects on her commitment. Solutions include setting clear boundaries early, seeking support groups for grandparent caregivers, or professional counseling to unpack resentments.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some people believe the OP is unreasonable for expecting her parents to co-raise the child.

kegspluskats − "Instead, I'd raise him with my mom and dad" YTA for that alone. Time to grow up.

Front-Software-1740 − So, lemme get this straight. You deliberately had a baby with a BF when you knew things weren't great between you guys.

Then you let him off the hook for parenting and expected your parents to be parenting your kid.

Your parents didn't like him, yet you chose him and now you're upset that your mom isn't dealing with your dumb choices in the most healthy way possible? Wow! YTA...

Commercial-Editor807 − I'm gonna go with ESH. Your mom had a chance to back out and took it. But you are expecting way too much from them.

They are at retirement age and, now, they have to support their adult daughter and help raise her baby because she makes poor choices.

Your parents were likely looking forward to spending more time together, relaxing, maybe traveling.

But, now, you took all that away from them because you felt like to just HAD to keep f__king this dude

that was unhealthy for you and so bad he can't be in his kids life... All without using protection.

Your mother is likely feeling like a failure because age has a daughter who put herself in this situation and is now being dragged down with you.

SnooBunnies7461 − So to be clear you made a baby with a person who was unreliable and decided that you and your parents would take over raising this kiddo.

Your parents already raised their children yet they are now expected to change their routine to accommodate you and your child?

You made an adult decision and your parents are paying for it.

Some people criticize both the OP and her mother, saying the mother should communicate better.

[Reddit User] − Perhaps reality just smacked her upside the head & she just realized that she is 58

& her life has been put on hold because she will be helping to raise her child’s child. Doesn’t excuse her behavior but it may explain it.

Have you spoken to her since having the baby? Maybe you should ask her? I understand why you were upset.

Your mother agreed to help & then walked out on you. That’s not okay. I do have some empathy for your mother as well though.

She just picked the worst time to lose her s__t. NTA Edit word

Responsible_Hope_831 − "It was mutually decided that he wouldn't take a personal role in raising his baby. Instead, I'd raise him with my mom and dad"

Were your parents part of this "mutual" decision or did you just show up

and informed them that baby daddy bailed and they were going to raise the baby instead.

Listen your mom should have communicate better and told you she couldn't be your birthing partner that's where she is an AH.

But you seem to be expecting a lot from your parents, this kid is your responsibility,

if they want to help you out that's great but they have no obligation at all to raise this child with you.

You made the decision to have a toxic relationship, you made the decision to raise the child without the father

so as parenting goes you are on your own they are the grandparents.

N T A for telling your mom she shouldn't have leave you during the birth

but you are an AH for wanting to put the responsibility to raise your child on your parents. So ESH, except dad

champagneformyrealfr − "She screamed at me that my labor was my problem, not hers."

Tbh she probably wanted to say your baby is your problem, not hers. I'm going with ESH.

She made a commitment to you to be your birthing partner and backed out at the worst possible moment.

That sucked, and she was wrong for that. but what you're asking of your parents... to raise your child with you, even if they offered... it's way too much.

This isn't their responsibility at all. you're letting your own choices turn their entire world and foreseeable future upside down, and that's also wrong.

Gloomy_Ruminant − ESH Your mom is a grown a__ woman and she can use her big girl words to tell you what's wrong.

She's obviously an AH for not doing so. But come the f__k on is it that hard to figure out? You've given your mom an impossible choice.

Either she sacrifices her retirement to raise a baby all over again (when she thought she was done!)

or she says no and god only knows what happens to you and your son.

If you ruin your mom's life because you couldn't be bothered to shoulder the consequences of your decisions you will be the AH.

Start taking steps now to support yourself and your child.

Others empathize with the mother’s unexpressed resentment and grief.

yourlittlebirdie − NTA but at the same time, it sounds like your mom has a lot of issues she needs to deal with.

She’s probably sad that your life hasn’t turned out the way she hoped, that her grandchild isn’t going to have a father

because of the choices you’ve made, and maybe also sad and a bit angry or resentful that she’s going to spend her golden years raising your baby

instead of enjoying her retirement and freedom. She probably didn’t want to express these things to you but I’m betting she’s feeling them.

Some people seek more information about possible underlying trauma for the mother.

atealein − INFO: Is it possible that your mother had a miscarriage or baby die that you weren't aware about?

This sounds like a woman griefing and trying to deal with old trauma.

This birth-room blowup shines a light on the tricky balance when family steps up or stumbles in big ways. Was the Redditor fair to expect her mom to stay through the pain, or did lifelong family shifts make it too heavy a load? How would you navigate supporting a child while protecting your own golden years? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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