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20-Year-Old Refuses To Let Kids Sleep In Room, Sparks Mom’s Outrage

by Marry Anna
September 25, 2025
in Social Issues

OP, a 20-year-old living with their mother and paying a monthly allowance, doesn’t enjoy kids but agreed to their mother hosting a colleague and her two children (aged 4 and 7 months) for New Year’s Eve.

Shockingly, their mother announced the kids would sleep in OP’s room without asking, prompting OP to refuse due to breakable items and a past incident with the 4-year-old.

Their mother called them narcissistic. Was OP wrong to protect their space? Let’s dive into the details and see what the online community thinks.

This story explores personal boundaries, family conflict, and privacy rights. Did OP go too far?

20-Year-Old Refuses To Let Kids Sleep In Room, Sparks Mom’s Outrage

'AITA for not wanting to let 2 children sleep in my room?'

So for New Year's Eve, my mom decided she would invite her colleague and her 2 kids (4 and 7 months) over.

I don't like kids; I would never be mean to one, but I just get easily annoyed by them.

I let this slide because my mom already invited them, and it would be rude to say no, and I don't mind spending a few hours with them.

Now fast forward to today. My mom just announced to me that they are going to sleep in my room.

This has not been discussed with me, and I didn't know they were gonna sleep over at our place. So I told my mom no, they are not gonna sleep...

I don't want other people in my room when I'm not there. I have a lot of books and breakable collections which I don't want to get ruined.

The oldest kid had already been to our house and had almost collapsed my entire bookcase, so I don't trust her alone in my room.

My mom thinks I'm unreasonable and a narcissist for not wanting to let them stay in my room.

My mom said I could sleep together in her room, but she snores, and I already have trouble sleeping if it's not in my own bed.

Am I the a**hole for not wanting other people to stay in my room?? (Sorry if it reads a bit weird, English is not my first language)

Edit: Since most of you have been asking, I'm 20 year 20-year-old and I pay a monthly allowance to help pay for groceries, etcetera.

This story highlights the importance of personal boundaries within family dynamics, especially when OP’s mother made unilateral decisions about their private space.  Psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud notes, “Clear boundaries in families foster respect and prevent unnecessary conflict” (Boundaries).

OP’s concerns about their belongings and comfort are valid, especially since they contribute financially, reinforcing their status as an adult in the household. The mother should have consulted OP and considered alternatives, like having the kids sleep with their own mother.

OP could approach the issue more diplomatically, perhaps by suggesting ways to safeguard items. This case underscores the need for communication and respect for personal space.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit largely supports OP, emphasizing the mother’s disrespect for not consulting them and the valid concern about damage from young kids. Some criticize the mother’s “narcissist” label, while a few argue OP should compromise for one night. Here’s a roundup of reactions.

Many defend OP’s right to privacy.

Limp2myLoom − NTA no f**king way would I like some random kids sleeping in my room. You are not an a**hole for saying no.

I put NTA as I think it's incredibly rude for your mother to announce it instead of asking, and then to argue over it.

These things should be discussed. If the situation arises and they do end up in your room.

Their mother needs to talk to them about their grabby little hands and not to touch anything!! But kids will always touch s**t :/

pigeon_q − NTA. It is really disrespectful of your mother to not consider your right to privacy and to not even consult with you before deciding the kids would stay...

They are young kids, and young kids are known to break everything, so it is understandable not to want them in your room.

You give your mother money, so it's not like you're not paying anything to stay there, and even if you weren't, it would still be a d**k move to not...

Where is their mother staying, and why can't they stay with her? And why does your mother expect you, a 20-year-old, to be fine sleeping with a 7 and 4...

[Reddit User] − NTA. Why can't they sleep in the room with their own mother or your mom's room?

ABoyNamedTom − NTA, your mom needs to respect boundaries. Edit: definitely NTA. Also, Jesus Christ, 832 upvotes!

kanap − NTA, your mom seems like she doesn't care about you, things. The kids should stay with their mom in the living room.

IUpvoteCatPhotos − NTA. You already know that the 4-year-old will break things and the 7-month-old is likely to wake and be scared because they don't know where they are.

Where's their mum sleeping? That's where the kids should be (and that should clearly not be your room since you didn't invite them).

cpt-banana-boat − I would recommend you find a different landlord.

Some question the mother’s choices or suggest solutions.

CockDaddyKaren − NTA. Why doesn't your mom offer her own room to them?

iamthenightrn − NTA. You're a narcissist for not wanting a kid that's already destroyed your property in the past to be left alone in your room to possibly destroy more?

Buy your mom a dictionary for the holidays, and bookmark the page that has "narcissist" on it, because she clearly doesn't know what that means

[Reddit User] − NTA. You had a very close call; do not tempt your luck.

You are paying to be there, not to share your room with people who have shown they aren't mature enough to not making a disaster, breaking your things, and, most...

Lock your room with a key and keep it with you at all times (and close the windows). Why can't they sleep with your mother?

Brucey1999 − NTA. Why do parents think they have control over their kids' lives and possessions? ‘Oh, don’t worry, X will do that for you’, ‘X can make you this’,...

It’s common decency to ask before promising your room to other people.

My little brothers, who share a room, have one of the biggest rooms with the most beds, so it’s a given thing that when the whole family comes to stay,...

But we’ve always known this is the sleeping arrangement when everyone comes to stay.

And mum gives us a fair warning. We are fine with it as we know our family and trust them (also, everyone is kinda close in age, so it’s not...

But to put people, I’m guessing you barely know (you aren’t friends with these kids, I guess), and who are in no way close to your age, is unreasonable

AeronwenTrewent − NAH. It would be normal for families to make adjustments when having house guests, but your mother should have discussed this with you before issuing the invitation.

Is it possible for you to box up your most precious objects and store them somewhere for the night? Even having them in a box and out of sight might...

BillySmith110 − NAH. I get it — you have delicate stuff in your room, and kids get into things and break s**t.

That’s what they do. Can’t help themselves. You’re right to be worried about your stuff. I would be too.

Your mom still views you as a child, and by living at home rent-free, you’re not doing anything to change her perception.

In a lot of families, when the company spends the night, the kids lose their rooms.

It’s a nice gesture to make your company feel welcome and a minor inconvenience for the kids (although some on this sub would act like it’s the end of the...

So giving your room to your guests very likely seems natural to your mom and not a big deal at all. My advice to you is that you’re not going...

Child-proof your room as much as you can. Lock down breakable things or put them out of reach.

Lather your bookshelf with bacon grease so the 4-year-old can’t climb it. And it’ll make your room smell nice.

A few urge compromise.

Connorray51 − YTA. I've given up my room plenty of times for guests of the house.

1) It's not your house. 2) You don't claim ownership over the room that your parents pay for. 3) It's one night, and you are 20 years old, don't be...

​Also, don't hesitate to be firm about being careful in the room. You will have a much warmer reception to that response than trying to quarantine your room entirely.

pddiddy87 − YTA. It's your mom's house. She can decide who sleeps in what room, whether you pay a "monthly allowance" or not.

It seems that there are a lot of entitled people on here whose parents let them make house rules, I guess.

Let me try telling my mom what's going to happen or not happen in HER house, lol. Also, you're being dramatic.

A 4-year-old probably sleeps through the night, and I would assume that a 7-month-old is gonna be in a pack and play or something, so it's not gonna be crawling...

It's one night. You'll survive. Lol "I let it slide". Hahaha.

This 20-year-old’s refusal to let a colleague’s kids sleep in their room, risking their books and collectibles, sparked a clash with their mom’s unilateral plan and harsh words. Was it a justified boundary, or an overreaction?

With Reddit backing their stand and solutions like child-proofing on the table, this saga’s a lesson in respecting personal space. How would you handle unconsulted guest plans? Share your thoughts below!

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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