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Man Keeps His Dead Girlfriend’s Facebook Active, Then Her Account Starts Messaging Him 13 Months After Her Death

by Leona Pham
September 5, 2026
in Social Issues

Keeping a deceased loved one’s social media account can feel like leaving one small door open to the life you shared.

But when that account suddenly becomes active again, comfort can quickly turn into something much harder to explain.

That is what happened to one grieving boyfriend after his girlfriend died unexpectedly in 2012.

He left her Facebook profile untouched so he could revisit their photos and messages, assuming only he and her mother still had access.

About thirteen months later, her account began messaging him using fragments of conversations they had shared years earlier.

He suspected an especially cruel hacker and repeatedly changed the password, but the activity continued.

Soon her account was tagging itself in his photographs and sending increasingly unsettling messages.

Keep reading to see what finally convinced him that whoever was behind the account knew details no stranger should have known.

A grieving man begins receiving disturbing Facebook messages from his girlfriend long after her death

Man Keeps His Dead Girlfriend’s Facebook Active, Then Her Account Starts Messaging Him 13 Months After Her Death
not the actual photo

'My dead girlfriend keeps messaging me on Facebook. I’ve got the screenshots. I don’t know what to do?'

Tonight’s kind of a catalyst for this post. I just received another message, and it’s worse than any of the others.

My girlfriend died on the 7th of August, 2012. She was involved in a three

car collision driving home from work when someone ran a red light. She passed away within minutes on the scene.

We had been dating for five years at that point. She wasn’t big on the idea

of marriage (it felt archaic, she said, gave her a weird vibe), but if she had

been, I would have married her within three months of our relationship.

She was vibrant; the kind of girl that would choose dare every time. She

was happiest when camping, but a total technophile too. She always smelled like cinnamon.

That being said, she wasn’t perfect. She always said something along the

lines of, “If I kark it first, don’t just say good things about me. I’ve never

liked that. If you don’t pay me out, you’re doing me a disservice. I’ve got so

many flaws, and that’s just part of me.” So, this is for Em: the music she said

she liked and the music she actually liked were very different. Her idea of

affection was a side-hug. She had really long toes, like a chimpanzee.

 

I know that’s tangential, but I don’t feel right discussing her without you

having an idea of what she was like.. Onto the meat. Em had been dead for

approaching thirteen months when she first messaged me..This is when it

began. I had left Emily’s Facebook account activated so I could send her the

occasional message, post on her wall, go through her albums. It felt too

final (and too un-Emily) to memorialise it. I ‘share’ access with her mother

(Susan) meaning, her mother has her login and password and has spent a

total of approximately three minutes on the website (or on a computer,

total). After a little confusion, I assumed it was her. I had received

confirmation from Susan that she hadn’t logged in to Em’s Facebook since

the week of her death. Em knew a lot of people, so I instantly assumed this

was one of her more tech savvy ‘friends’ f__king with me in the worst possible way.

I noticed pretty much immediately that whoever was chatting with me was

recycling old messages from [Em and my’s shared chat history.]

The ‘the wheels on the bus' comment was from when we were discussing

songs to play on a road trip that never eventuated. ‘hello’ happened a million times.. ---

Around February 2014, Emily started tagging herself in my photos. I would

get notifications for them, but the tag would generally always be removed

by the time I got to it. The first time I actually caught one, it felt like

someone had punched me in the gut. ‘She’ would tag herself in spaces

where it was plausible for her to be, or where she would usually hang out.

I’ve got screenshots of two (from April and June; these are the only ones

I’ve caught, so they’re a little out of the timeline I’m trying to write out).

Around this period of time, I stopped being able to sleep. I was too angry to sleep.

She would tag herself in random photos every couple of weeks. The friends

who noticed and said something thought it was a fucked up bug; I found

out recently that there have been friends who have noticed and didn’t say

anything. Some of them have removed me from their Facebook friends list.

At this point, some of you may be wondering why I didn’t just k__l my

Facebook profile. I wish I had. I did for a little while. On days when I can’t

get out there, though, it’s nice having my friends available to chat. It’s nice

visiting Em’s page when the little green circle isn’t next to her name. I was

already socially reclusive when Em was alive; her death turned me into

something pretty close to a hermit, and Facebook and MMOs were (are) my

only real social outlets.. ---. [On March 15th,] I sent what I assumed was

Em's hacker a message.. ---. [On March 25th, I received an ‘answer’.]

 

It wasn’t until I was going over these logs a few months later that I noticed she was recycling my own words as well.

My response seems kind of lacklustre here. I was intentionally providing

him/her with emotional ‘bait’ (‘This is actually devastating’) to keep them

interested in their game; I was working off the assumption that the kind of

person to do this would be the kind of person that would thrive on the

distress of others. I was posting in tech forums, looking for ways to track

this person, contacting Facebook. I needed to keep them around so I could

gather ‘evidence’.. Before anyone asks, yes, I had changed the password

and all security info countless times.. ---. [16th of April. I receive this.] This

seems like word salad. Like all our conversations so far, it’s recycled from

previous messages she’s sent.. ---. [29th of April.]

I hadn’t discovered any leads. Facebook had told me the locations her page

had been accessed from, but since her death, they’re all places I can

account for (my home, my work, her mum’s house, etc). My response here

wasn’t bait. ‘yo ask Nathan’ was an in-joke too lame worth explaining, but

seeing ‘her’ say it again just absolutely f__king crippled me. My reaction in

real life was much less prettier. I’m not expecting my bond back.. Her last

few messages had started to scare me, but I wouldn’t admit it at this point..

---. [8th of May. I don’t really have the words for this.]

‘FRE EZIN G’ is the first original word she’s (?) made. This has given me

nightmares that have only started to kick in recently. I keep dreaming that

she’s in an ice cold car, frozen blue and grey, and I’m standing outside in the

warmth screaming at her to open the door. She doesn’t even realise I’m

there. Sometimes her legs are outside with me.. ---. [24th of May.]

I wasn’t actually drunk. She wasn’t an affectionate girl, and it always

embarrassed her to exchange ‘I love you’s, cuddle, talk about how much we

meant to each other. She was more comfortable with it when I was boozed up. I got fake-drunk a lot.

Her reply is what prompted me to finally memorialise her page, thinking it

might help curb this behaviour. It might seem innocuous compared to her

previous message, it’s pasted from an old conversation where I was trying

to convince her to let me drive her home from a friend’s.

In the collision, the dashboard had crushed her. She was severed in a

diagonal line from her right hip to midway down her left thigh. One of her

legs was found tucked under the backseat.. ---. [Going back in time. 7th of August, 2012.]

These are logs from the day she died. She was usually home from work by

4.30. This, alongside a couple of voicemail messages, is the last time I

talked to her under the assumption that she was alive. You’ll see why I’m

showing you these soon.. ---. [Yesterday. 1st of July, 2014.]

I memorialised her page a couple of days after I received the message

about walking. Until today, she’d been quiet; she wasn’t even tagging herself in my photos.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I k__l her memorial page? What if it is

her? I want to puke. I don’t know what’s happening.. I just heard a Facebook

alert. I'm too afraid to swap windows and check it.

Sometimes grief makes absence difficult enough to understand without technology repeatedly making the dead appear present.

The most painful part of this story is not really the possibility of a supernatural Facebook account.

It is watching someone who never fully wanted to close the digital door on his girlfriend become terrified when that door seems to open from the other side.

The same account that once gave him comfort gradually becomes a source of dread.

His decision to keep Emily’s profile active makes emotional sense.

After five years together and a sudden death, messaging her and looking through photographs allowed him to maintain a connection with someone who disappeared without warning.

Psychologists sometimes describe this through the idea of continuing bonds: bereavement does not necessarily require emotionally severing the relationship with someone who died.

People often preserve that relationship through memories, rituals, possessions, conversations, or digital spaces.

Visiting Emily’s page was voluntary and predictable. The messages and tags were not.

Suddenly, memories that belonged to their private relationship were appearing without his control.

Even if every incident ultimately had a technical or human explanation, the psychological effect could still be profound.

His brain is being confronted with contradictory information: he knows Emily died, yet a digital representation of her appears to behave as though she remains socially present.

The detail that makes the story especially disturbing is “FREEZING.”

Earlier messages can be explained as recycled conversations, but an apparently original word connected in his mind to the circumstances of her death changes his emotional response from anger to fear.

Importantly, nightmares and intrusive imagery after such a trigger do not demonstrate anything paranormal.

They demonstrate how readily traumatic memories can become attached to ambiguous cues.

There is also a broader modern problem underneath the horror.

Social media has created a historically unusual form of mourning in which photographs, conversations, notifications, algorithms, and accounts can preserve a person’s digital presence indefinitely.

The dead can unexpectedly reappear through old posts or automated features, blurring the boundary between remembering someone and receiving something that feels like communication from them.

For the OP, deleting or memorializing the account is therefore not a test of whether Emily is somehow behind the messages.

The better question is whether keeping access to it is helping him live with her memory or repeatedly reopening the trauma of her death.

Preserving a bond with Emily does not require preserving the particular digital doorway that has begun frightening him.

Closing an account would not mean closing his relationship with her; the memories that actually mattered were never stored only on Facebook.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These Redditors desperately wanted an update and closure after years of silence

tiff-the-great − It really upsets me that we will probably never get an update with this.

LordStormfire − This is awful. Five months after the events, may I ask, for closure, what happened in the end?

wearenotyourkind_ − Anyone here in 2023?? OP please update us it’s been almost 10 years

These users admitted the story genuinely terrified them, especially late at night

xfxkewki − This has got to be the only /r/nosleep post to creep me out. It's past midnight, I'm in a big dark house. Lovely.

daaammnn69 − I SHOULDN'T have had continued reading this. ... It's 1am here oh god

BulutTheCat − I have to pee but I can’t go to that scary place called bathroom.

tdw-12 − Thanks, I s__t myself.

These Redditors interpreted the supernatural events as the deceased woman seeking help or trying to communicate

RedDraconianWolf − my best advice is simply this. Simply write a message

to her and let her know you love her. If she is truly trying to communicate

to you, then most likely it is because she can't move on. IF she can't move

on, it's because she believes that you are unable to let go and move on.

You said so yourself that you couldn't face the finality of it all. She needs

you to let her know that it's okay, that she can finally rest. She needs to know that you will be okay without her.

your dream of her freezing inside the car was likely a message for you to

see that she was suffering because she couldn't leave you in pieces. These

kinds of things happen even when the spirit was someone who had never been very affectionate in life.

If you tell her that you're going to be okay, and that she doesn't have to

hang on anymore, she'll probably go and be at peace. She just needs you to

let her know that it's okay. But you have to mean it. I hope this helps.

HUELANDER − Man. I don't know if I really believe in spirits and stuff, but. ..

If I would believe, the interpretation I got is that she was trying to ask for

help. She was saying "Nathan, why are you doing this? ", "Cold",

"FREEZING", "I don't know what's happening".

Maybe, she was asking for your help, if she found something in her

"afterlife stuff", if she was in a cold place, a bad place. Several religions

(spiritism, for exemple) believe that there's no Hell, but there are horrible

places with horrible energy that makes you freeze or somethin Man, I dunno.

Hope you're all right, just, delete it, try to have a good life and find

someone else. Apologise for her in your mind, and if you believe in God, just be good, a'ight?

These commenters described how the story or similar experiences stayed with them long after reading

Cinister09 − Just stumbled across this from an article I was reading. ... and

it's left me terrified. 😶 I received a message from a deceased ex after he

passed and he spelt my name the exact way he used to spell it. Honestly

terrified me. Never responded to my messages.

LucidDreams3000 − I read this when OP first posted it and now its back. Do

you understand how many times I've randomly thought about this over the

past few years? And here it is again? !?!? I'm not gonna be able to sleep for a few days.

What makes this story so disturbing is that every rational explanation seems to collapse under the details.

The messages reused private conversations, the login locations made sense, and then completely original words began appearing alongside references that felt impossibly specific to Emily’s death.

Whether it was an elaborate cruelty, some unexplained technical phenomenon, or something far stranger, the effect on him was the same: grief turned into fear.

Would you delete the memorial page to end it, or keep it because part of you would still wonder if Emily was somehow trying to reach you?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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