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A Family Thanksgiving Explodes When a Mother’s Daughter-in-Law Claims to Start a ‘New Tradition’

by Jeffrey Stone
September 20, 2025
in Social Issues

Thanksgiving is supposed to be about turkey, stuffing, and gratitude, but for one Redditor, it turned into a food fight without the flying mashed potatoes.

The drama began when her daughter-in-law (DIL) showed up with vegan versions of every single dish on the table, complete with a smug “new tradition” speech.

The result? A tense showdown that ended with DIL getting kicked out before dessert was finished.

So, was this grandma standing her ground, or did she turn holiday dinner into a family feud?

A Family Thanksgiving Explodes When a Mother’s Daughter-in-Law Claims to Start a ‘New Tradition’

A Redditor’s Thanksgiving Showdown – Here’s The Original Post:

'AITA for having kicked my DIL out of my Thanksgiving meal after her vegan feast fiasco?'

My daughter (21) lives with us while finishing college. My son (27) lives in the same city and I babysit his children (3 and 4), so we are bubbled.

My sister, who drove three hours with her husband and son (16) to come and see us, has been taking extra precautions prior to this event. Everyone was safe.

DIL and I don't get along for many reasons I won't go into. She's also just one of those condescending people who thinks that constantly looks down on others, especially...

Last Thanksgiving, she raised hell over me making a turkey, and claimed there weren't really any vegan options. There were.

Last week, DIL contacts me on FB asking for the "menu", and then telling me what "will" and "won't" work. She also sent me many replication recipes to make for...

This annoyed me, because I had already made sure to give my son, her, and her kids vegan options for the day, but it wasn't good enough. I finally just...

Thanksgiving happens. They arrive late with a *ton* of food dishes, parading them in, all with this vindictive grin on her face. Turns out, she, out of spite, took the...

Needless to say, I was livid, but I held my tongue. My sister and daughter in particular did try the food and enjoy it.

Every time they complimented her, she would give me this look as she received her thanks, before tacking on something like "I just wanted to make a Thanksgiving meal that...

The part where I finally snapped was at dessert. We have a family tradition where right before we sit down and say what we're thankful for. Its usually for family,...

When at her turn, she got the same smug, vindictive grin on her face, and in the most condescending way, said "I'm thankful for starting the new tradition of a...

Reddit, I saw red. I waited until my turn, and then said, as calmly as I could, that I was thankful that this would be the last Thanksgiving I'd be...

It took them a moment to catch on, and soon enough n**ty words were being exchanged on both sides. I finally kicked them out.

I didn't think about it until this evening, when my son sent me a text telling me that he would not be letting his children come over until I personally...

He said that while he sees my side, she "didn't mean it", and that I took it way too far by publicly embarrassing her, when she spent so much time...

My husband is telling me I should just apologize, because it was rude of me and isn't worth it. He doesn't really get why it hurt me so much that...

AITA here? Let me know... Edit for info: word count is limiting!
I absolutely had vegan options for them to begin with. I had an entree for them

(plus some backup nuggets for the kdis), a few side dishes (most were vegan with nonvegan addons), and a dessert that I made. She told me that those were fine,...

It wasn't a request to make something in particular, it was a demand that I redo everything. My son let it slip that she spent "hundreds of dollars" on the...

Another note is that although the threat of the grandchildren hurts every time, it isn't the first time. Last time she made it two weeks and gave in, because they...

I did not literally tell her to go pound sand. That is an expression. I told her that was the menu, and it will not be changed, but she was...

Wow! This really blew up! I have a mini update. I've spoken with my husband, and I've told him that I flatout feel unappreciated. I spent days making this meal,...

to blow it off as nothing was honestly hurtful. I additionally reminded him of the other issues we've had, and have informed that I'm no longer going to be taking...

He is welcome to talk to them if he likes, but I, personally, am done. I am done being their free labor. I am done being her punching bag and...

We talked it a bit more, and he respects my choice and has apologized for his part in this.

Next, I told my son that if he wants to continue to try and manipulate me with his grandchildren, then I think its best we cut contact for a while,...

I have explained my side to him (in tears), and it was met with an "I know, but". I just told him to stop. He gets free childcare. Its manipulative....

I've told him that I'm always there for his children, but that for now, I'd rather not have contact with them unless there's a dire emergency with no other options,...

His response was that I was making it difficult, because his wife would be upset if he apologized to me. That solidified my decision, and I've cut contact.. My daughter...

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME HATE DMS ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL OPINION OVER ME NOT BEING VEGAN. YOU WILL SIMPLY BE REPORTED AND BLOCKED. I WILL NOT BE ANSWERING.

I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU, ESPECIALLY IN DMS, OVER VEGANISM AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS BETTER. PLEASE RESPECT THAT. THANK YOU.

The Setup

Our Redditor, the longtime holiday host, had prepared a feast that included traditional turkey and several vegan sides to accommodate her DIL.

Guests included her daughter, son, grandkids, and extended family, basically the perfect setting for cozy memories. But instead of gratitude, she got a surprise: DIL arrived with her own full vegan spread, clearly aiming to replace the host’s dishes.

Things got worse when DIL made a pointed speech about “starting a new cruelty-free tradition,” undercutting her mother-in-law’s hard work. That’s when grandma’s patience snapped, she told her DIL to leave, in front of the whole family.

Expert Opinion

Talk about holiday drama worthy of a sitcom. The host bent over backward to include vegan options, yet DIL turned it into a moral power play by duplicating the entire menu. That wasn’t accommodation, that was one-upping.

Etiquette experts agree that guests should contribute, not compete. Diane Gottsman, founder of The Protocol School of Texas, puts it simply:

“Guests should respect the host’s efforts and communicate needs politely, not demand a redo”.

DIL’s actions ignored this basic rule, making the host’s frustration understandable.

Still, was sending her packing mid-feast the best call? That’s where things get blurry. Public confrontation escalated the tension, especially with grandkids present.

The Bigger Picture

Food clashes at holidays aren’t rare. A 2023 YouGov poll found that 62% of Americans feel judged by vegan or vegetarian relatives at gatherings. These moments often reflect more than dietary differences, they’re about control, respect, and family traditions.

In this case, the Redditor wanted harmony, but DIL wanted the spotlight. Instead of working together, both dug in their heels, and the fallout spilled beyond dinner when the son sided with his wife and used childcare as leverage.

The Takeaway

The Redditor’s boundary, pausing free childcare until respect returns, makes sense. Grandkids should never be pawns in a food fight.

DIL, meanwhile, needs to rethink her approach: she could’ve brought one vegan dish, hosted her own dinner, or at least skipped the lecture.

Conflict aside, this story resonates because it’s about something bigger than mashed potatoes. It’s about respect at the table.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some cheered the host’s clapback, saying DIL deserved to be shown the door.

Luna-Strange − NTA. She did it out of spite. She owes you the apology. Its extremely rude to bring an entire new meal without the host’s permission, she sprung on...

Wasting all that food. For a vegan shes really not that smart. Your son also is fully aware she meant it.

Inform your son you will not say a word to her until she begs forgiveness for being so spiteful on a holiday about giving thanks. Its also not your problem...

Thats on her and your son for allowing his wife to behave so poorly to his family. The blame is fully on her.

Edit to say, way to weaponize kids for their parents shortcomings. They should not be trying to strong arm and apology for something they did at the threat of grandkids.

At the end of the day the kids always get hurt the most. I personally feel putting up with bad parents isnt worth it for the kids. Its far to...

[Reddit User] − NTA. This is why people don't like vegans, the proselytising, the smug attitude, the display of privilege through expensive items.

she's a GUEST in your house, you tried to accommodate her dietary requirements but she went a step beyond and went full diva, THEN had the cheek to get on...

Good on you for sending them a clear message!

juniperberry52 − NTA I would’ve lost it too. She sounds absolutely exhausting. Anyone wanting you to apologize to her needs to go pound sand as well.

If they’re going to hold your grandchildren over your head to force you to bow to her, then they can go shove it.

Others thought kicking her out was harsh and only deepened the family rift. Either way, 

ghostcraft33 − NTA - Honestly you were a lot nicer than I expected. You tried to offer them vegan food but they felt entitled to you making an ENTIRE VEGAN...

Three people? Hell f**king no! 1. You stated its expensive as all heck 2. Thanksgiving meals are already extremely time consuming, not to mention a vegan one!

3. Had you just made one entirely vegan meal, that means it may be a lesser experience for the non-vegans. Vegan substitutes can be good but not all people like...

Im gluten free and you don't see me demanding a whole new menu just for myself, and mine becomes an actual MEDICAL issue if I break it.

She was the one who made an issue out of this whole thing. You were totally ok with her being able to bring her foods. She was the one who...

Honestly just don't invite her over to Thanksgiving anymore if she's just going to s**t on you for trying to give her things she can eat without giving yourself burn...

FuckUGalen − I'm in the market for a new mother in law (my own is toxic AF), can I interest you in adopting my husband? I know he is only...

Also I'm omnivore and dont care to argue about food if I dont have to cook (as long as there is food for hubby). NTA

Caribouhou − NTA. I’m vegetarian and I don’t judge what other people put into their bodies.

Your DIL is incredibly self-righteous and the prime example of why people are so turned off by vegetarian/vegans. People forget I don’t eat meat because I’m not such an a**hole.

When I’m invited people are really nice and offer to make dishes and stuff, but if they don’t, I always offer to bring food for me to eat. I don’t...

Suckonmysycamore − I didn't think about it until this evening, when my son sent me a text telling me that he would not be letting his children come over

until I personally apologize to his wife. good no free childcare for those stuck up jerks. maybe they should have spent money on that instead of vegan dishes. NTA

Reddit agrees, this was no ordinary holiday meal.

[Reddit User] − NTA. There were options here. She could have talked to you about bringing the whole meal done vegan ahead of time. And then she went and spit...

Sure, she might have spent a lot of time and money, but it wasn't "for everyone. " It was for herself and her pride and her ego. Even if she...

You could have said much worse. I feel like you caught the ball and threw it back.

Sounds like she was trying to force it to do it her way in the future. I feel like that was your way of saying, "Nope. If that's how we're...

It might have been a low blow, but not AH level to me.

R0mansM0mmy − NTA. If she wanted a completely vegan menu, then she can offer to host. I wouldn’t want to spend thanksgiving with her either.

doublestitch − Looks like her plan was to maneuver the extended family into vegan Thanksgivings, probably toward an endgame of converting everyone into full time vegans.

In the abstract I can parse the values system where that seems like a moral imperative but my heart is with you. DIL is a sanctimonious horrible guest. NTA

Are these takes a holiday hit or just table scraps?

Was grandma justified in sending her DIL home after the smug vegan speech, or did she overcook the drama by making it public?

If it were your table, would you have kept the peace or drawn a hard line in the cranberry sauce?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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