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Woman Calls Out Her Friend For Wanting To ‘Borrow’ Her Husband, And The Fallout Gets Messy

by Leona Pham
December 11, 2025
in Social Issues

You don’t usually expect plot twists in your day-to-day friendships, but life has a funny way of dropping absurd situations right into your lap. One minute, everything is normal, and the next, you’re questioning how someone could possibly think their behavior makes sense.

That’s the exact dilemma facing a married woman after her friend came forward with a confession that completely blindsided her. What followed wasn’t just awkward, it quickly turned into a storm of accusations, gossip, and split loyalties within their social circle.

Keep reading to see how a single conversation managed to ignite a full-blown friendship meltdown.

A woman watches her friend cross a line after asking to share her husband in an open marriage

Woman Calls Out Her Friend For Wanting To ‘Borrow’ Her Husband, And The Fallout Gets Messy
not the actual photo

'Aitah for rejecting my friends request to have an open relationship with my husband?'

I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years.

We have 2 beautiful kids (5m and 6f) and have a very strong relationship and are happy together.

Recently, my “friend” Lisa (29F) confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband.

She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship,

and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too.

I was shocked and told her no, explaining that my husband

and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship.

Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish and closed-minded.

She argued that modern relationships should be flexible and that I was denying her happiness.

Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group,

suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling.

This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides.

My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused.

So, AITA for rejecting my friend’s request to have an open relationship with my husband?

Edit: This attracted a lot more attention very fast then I thought it would.

I’ve read most of your comments and I think tomorrow I will talk to the whole friend group about it and I’ll update after.

Update 1: After reading some of your comments, I decided to bring the group out for coffee

and I told them all about what Lisa said and the REAL story. I also showed them the reddit post.

After showing them, there were 2 girls that were still on Lisa’s side,

so I took some advice from the comments and said “let Lisa f__k your husband,

then you can be on her side” after that everyone was on my side thankfully.

Lisa wasn’t happy at all and she started ranting about how it “wasn’t fair”

she “just wanted to experiment something new!”

and “It wasn’t even that bad of a request, your making it such a big deal!” Which I didn’t get.

Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa.

Just hoping she doesn’t try to reach out. Will update if something happens.

Also just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage,

he also rejected saying that “even if I was I would never want to go out with you”

I’m thinking of cutting off the ladies that were on Lisa’s side for so long.

But I’m not sure if they heard a different story or not. So should I?

Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for protecting what matters most. When someone you trust tries to cross a deeply personal line, especially in your marriage, it can feel like a violation of your emotional safety.

That’s precisely what happened in this story, a friend didn’t just make an awkward comment; she tried to rewrite the rules of a marriage the couple had already clearly defined.

In this situation, the OP wasn’t just rejecting a suggestion about non-monogamy. She was asserting the core values of her marriage and protecting the emotional stability of her family.

Requesting an open relationship with someone else’s spouse, especially without any prior discussion, wasn’t a harmless experiment. It crossed the boundary of respect, trust, and mutual understanding.

This wasn’t a debate about modern relationship structures; it was a direct challenge to the couple’s commitments and the OP’s sense of safety. And when someone feels unsafe, the emotional reaction isn’t just logic. it’s instinct.

It’s also worth noting that people often interpret boundaries differently based on their personal values and emotional needs. A friend who places high value on freedom or fluidity in relationships may see openness as “modern” or “flexible.”

But another person who values stability, family, and monogamy will understandably view the same suggestion as intrusive or disrespectful. These differing worldviews don’t make one person right and the other wrong, but they absolutely define what feels safe versus threatening in a relationship.

Experts emphasize the importance of boundaries in friendships and relationships.

According to Verywell Mind, healthy boundaries define what behaviors you will accept and what you won’t, and when respected, they protect emotional well-being while preventing resentment and conflict. Clear boundaries are vital, not just in romantic partnerships, but in friendships too.

Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, known for her work on boundary-setting, explains that boundaries help people take ownership of their emotional space, communicate their needs clearly, and protect their well-being.

When someone repeatedly ignores or disputes those limits, it’s a sign that the relationship may no longer be safe or supportive.

Applied here, this means the OP’s refusal wasn’t closed-minded, it was a clear indication of what her marriage means to her and what she will not compromise. True boundaries aren’t about controlling others; they’re about protecting your sense of self and what you value most.

When a boundary is violated and dismissed as “selfish,” that often reflects more about the boundary-pusher’s needs than anything wrong with the boundary itself.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These Redditors roast Lisa and call her behavior delusional, rude, or absurd

[Reddit User] − Forgive my language here but Lisa sounds like a stupid b__ch

TarzanKitty − NTA Tell the friends that are on her side to let her f__k their husbands.

Turbulent_Ebb5669 − Lisa is NOT your friend.

DannyAvocado_ − Wtf absolutely NTA! HOW could you be the AH

These commenters back OP fully and stress the husband’s clear disinterest and loyalty

TheOtherAccountIUse9 − Your husband does NOT want it,

you and your husband are happily monogamous, end of discussion.

She’s not your friend she’s an attempted homewrecker, they are not your mutuals;

they are her flying monkeys. Cut them out of your like if they think this is acceptable. NTA, obviously

ApprehensiveCat8639 − Time for your husband to call this out and shut her down

(for your sake, and to shut down this gossipyBS within your friend group)-

you saying no is one thing, but he's clearly not interested and Lisa needs to hear that from him as well.

She's deeply delusional. NTA, at all

These commenters urge OP to expose Lisa’s lies and clarify the truth to the friend group

Status-Pattern7539 − NTA Group message everyone, as you know she is lying to them.

“Hi everyone, I thought I would clear up some things as everyone is now talking about my relationship or how I’m “controlling”.

Telling Lisa that she cannot sleep with MY husband is not controlling.

Telling Lisa my husband and I are monogamous is not controlling.

If any of you want to volunteer your partners to be in an open relationship with Lisa, go ahead.

But my partner and I are not interested. He is not and has never been interested in or attracted to Lisa.

We have no idea where her idea to insert herself into our relationship came from but we are not entertaining such a delusion.

This will be the last time I will be discussing this insane request.”

notAugustbutordinary − The only way that you could be the AH in this situation is

if you don’t tell every member of your social group what Lisa did.

At present you are allowing her to dictate a false narrative.

Stop her from doing that. Ask any of your mutual friends if they want their partner’s sharing Lisa’s bed?

In the end, the situation shows how quickly a friendship can unravel when someone ignores deeply personal boundaries.

Many readers sympathized with the poster, noting that her firm stance protected her family from unnecessary chaos.

So, should she cut off the remaining friends who hesitated to support her, or give them space to explain what they heard? Do you think her response was justified, or could she have handled the fallout differently? Share your take below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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