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Bride-To-Be Cancels Wedding After Father’s Death, Partner Backs Her While In-Laws Fume Over Decision

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A bride-to-be, still grieving her father’s death, clashed with her future in-laws over their relentless push for a grand wedding. After eight years together and three years engaged, a Redditor and her partner faced repeated delays, first from lockdowns, then personal loss. The dream of her father walking her down the aisle faded, leaving raw sorrow.

Tensions erupted when the couple canceled their long-planned wedding for a private vow exchange, stunning family and sparking online buzz. Reddit’s dissecting the fallout, where love, grief, and family expectations collide in a messy, emotional standoff.

Woman cancels wedding, backed up by husband, causing a shock to in-laws.

Bride-To-Be Cancels Wedding After Father’s Death, Partner Backs Her While In-Laws Fume Over Decision
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for cancelling our wedding?'

Background: my partner (M46) and I (F31) have been together for 8 years, and have been engaged now for 3,

we had a big wedding planned pre-pandemic and understandably postponed it twice because of lockdown restrictions.

After the second postponement, my Father (M55) passed away suddenly and we postponed again because I was broken.

My Dad's family fell out with us (me and sibling) when my dad died over funeral plans, inheritance issues,

they basically wanted to ignore my Dad, my sibling, and my wishes and do what they want,

so in terms of family, it is just me and my sibling now (mum passed in 2014).

My partner's family started hassling us about the wedding because restrictions are pretty much gone,

everyone in our circle is vaxxed and can travel (partners family from another country).

My partner and I paid for and will pay for everything, so it's not like his family have a financial stake here.

I am really struggling with the idea of getting married without my Dad or my family there.

When our Mum died, my brother and I both had severe depression, and our Dad (who just lost his wife) picked us up and carried us through (we were 22...

I can't stress enough how incredible a man and Father my Dad was, and how shattering losing him so young has been.

A big attraction to the wedding for me was dreams of him walking me down the aisle and making an embarrassing speech,

I can't picture a big wedding without my Dad. My partner is completely fine with waiting so it's not an issue between us.

Future MIL and SIL were on Zoom with us and brought up the wedding again, looking for an update on when we were having it.

I shrugged and said we weren't thinking about that just yet. SIL exploded and said it wasn't fair for me

to hold my partner to ransom because of my "daddy issues" and that they deserved a wedding after spending so long in lockdown.

Partner gently said he isn't being held to ransom and is fine with waiting, we've been together 8 years, a ring on the finger isn't a big deal.

MIL said that if we didn't pick a date to hold the wedding next year in the next week, then she had no intention of coming, and SIL agreed.

I removed myself from the situation and heard my partner arguing with them.

My partner and I decided to cancel the wedding, and we let everyone know by sending out cards.

We lost a lot of money as most things had been paid for already. MIL and SIL are furious and not speaking to either of us.

It wasn't worth it to us to have a wedding with none of my family, and his family being completely disrespectful to us.

We plan to tie the knot privately at some point, but a big wedding is now completely off the cards.

His family is sticking by MIL and SIL. Are we the assholes?

​ EDIT: We're going to do it, we're going to have a small ceremony with just the kids (his kids, my step-kids)

and my brother, hopefully over the Halloween half-term break!

This couple’s decision to cancel their wedding was a gut-punch moment driven by grief and boundary-setting.

The Redditor, still mourning her father’s sudden death, faced pressure from her partner’s family, who seemed more excited about a post-lockdown party than her emotional well-being.

The core issue here is grief clashing with expectations. The Redditor lost her father, a man she describes as her rock, who carried her through past traumas like her mother’s death.

His absence at the wedding feels like a void too big for a white dress to fill. Meanwhile, her partner’s family, led by a vocal mother-in-law and sister-in-law, pushed for a celebration, framing her hesitation as “holding her partner hostage.”

Their ultimatum, set a date or they’re out, shows a lack of empathy that’s hard to ignore. The partner, to his credit, stood firm, proving he’s more teammate than bystander.

From another angle, the in-laws might feel frustrated after years of delays. Weddings are often family reunions, especially for those traveling internationally, and they may see the couple’s indecision as dragging their feet.

But their approach: demanding a timeline and tossing around phrases like “daddy issues”, was tactless at best.

A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association notes that grief can linger for years, especially after losing a parent, with 63% of bereaved adults reporting ongoing emotional challenges at major life events. This Redditor’s pain isn’t a switch to flip for someone else’s party plans.

Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical psychiatrist, says in a Psychology Today article, “Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and major life events like weddings can amplify loss.”

This rings true here. The Redditor’s vision of her wedding was tied to her father’s presence, and without him, the whole script feels wrong. Forcing it could’ve led to a day filled with sorrow instead of joy. Canceling, though costly, was a way to reclaim control and prioritize healing.

So, what’s the takeaway? Weddings are about the couple, not the guest list’s demands.

The Redditor and her partner could explore grief counseling to navigate this loss, perhaps incorporating a small tribute to her father in their private ceremony.

For anyone in a similar spot, setting boundaries with pushy family while communicating openly with your partner is key.

See what others had to share with OP:

The comment section is full of praise for the partner’s support, emphasizing the couple’s right to prioritize their wedding preferences.

Pixiegirl128 − NTA and I'm so glad that your partner stood up for you and was willing to argue with them for you.

Edit: my original response was really into a work shift and just something I wanted to get make sure you heard.

Because I cannot reiterate enough how much NTA you are here. You've done absolutely nothing wrong in this situation.

Losing family is tough. It's unbearable when you're incredibly close to that family. It feels like a piece of your is missing.

And I hope that your mil and sil never feel what you're feeling, because that's not the kind of pain anyone should experience.

But I do hope that should they ever be in the same predicament, they get the treatment they deserve.

I see too many stories here and all over the internet where the significant other takes the side of their family.

And I'm just so happy to see this man love you so much that he's willing to stand his ground against his own family.

Because that can all be so incredibly tough for someone. The fact that he loves and supports you in this, is so magical.

And I truly wish you the best of joy together. And if/when you do feel ready to get married, I just know you'll find a way to make it special...

Not about his mil and sil the way they seem to want. Take your time to mourn and grieve your losses. They're unimaginable.

And just know that regardless, I'm sure your parents both would be there in spirit at the very least and are always with you in your heart and memories.

SpiritOne − NTA: sounds like you and your partner are on the same page.

He’s sticking up for you, having your back, legitimizing how you feel. You guys are doing great.

GunnerPup13 −NTAH: You have every right to want your family at your wedding.

If his family has an issue with that, that’s their issue. This is YOUR wedding. Not theirs.

If your partner is fine with waiting, then there’s no issue.

Side note: your partner sounds amazing for standing up to you the way they did. I’ve had to defend my girlfriend multiple times to my family, and it’s not easy.

Not everyone can do it, and I’m genuinely happy for you to have someone who will stand up for you.

People condemn the in-laws’ entitled demands and support the couple’s autonomy over their wedding.

drakkya − NTA - a wedding is about the bride and groom not about some entitled family members wanting to get a free vacation.

Look after yourself and please think about getting professional grief counseling.

Dietcokeisgod − Nta and your fiance's entitled family can f__k so far off.

[Reddit User] − MIL said that if we didn't pick a date to hold the wedding next year in the next week,

then she had no intention of coming, and SIL agreed. You: "Don't threaten me with a good time" NTA, and good riddance

dookle14 − NTA - notice how SIL and MIL made it all about them and never about either of you.

They don't deserve a wedding. They also don't get to decide when you are done grieving your father.

MIL said that if we didn't pick a date to hold the wedding next year in the next week, then she had no intention of coming, and SIL agreed.

This is a 100% bogus ultimatum that is just a bluff in disguise. I would have 100% called them on it and said "deal". They don't get to decide these...

Congrats, OP, on getting rid of toxic people and being able to focus on making your wedding, in whatever form or fashion you have it, the one you want.

Many other advise a simple wedding and emphasize honoring the couple’s wishes and grief.

talibob − NTA. Your wedding is for you and your partner and you should have a wedding that will make the two of you happy.

No one else’s opinion matters and your in laws are completely out of line.

My deepest condolences for your loss and I’m so glad you have your partner to support you through this.

XANDERtheSHEEPDOG − NTA. I'm sorry you have to go through that after losing your father.

Family can be awful. Cancel the wedding (if your partner is truly okay with it.)

F the in-laws.... Have a small civil ceremony with a judge and one or two witnesses.

Life is short. The "ring on the finger" may not mean much, but do it for the two of you and you will be glad you did.

To make it special, have something from your dad (like his wedding ring or driver's license) with you.

Aradene − NTA. Your wedding isn’t for their post lockdown socialization, it’s to celebrate you and your fiancé’s union in the way AND TIME of your choosing.

It sounds like your partner has your back, and I’m really sorry for your loss - your father sounds like an amazing person,

I wish I had been half so lucky as to have a father like that. Take your time to grieve.

Your fiancé knows you love him, and isn’t going to give you grief. He has your back.

This Redditor’s wedding cancellation was a stand for what matters most: love, loyalty, and healing on their own terms.

With her partner by her side and a cozy ceremony planned with just the kids and her brother, they’re rewriting their happily-ever-after.

Was canceling the big day a bold move to honor her grief, or could they have smoothed things over with the in-laws?

How would you handle family pressure in a moment of personal loss? Drop your thoughts below!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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