A 23-year-old woman faced a family bind when her pregnant sister, juggling a toddler and another on the way, asked if their autistic sister could move back in. She set rules so rigid they’d rattle a drill sergeant, knowing they’d be tough to meet, driven by past cohabitation frustrations and a fierce need to guard her space.
Sisterly love clashed with lingering resentment, sparking Reddit debates over loyalty versus personal peace. This saga of tough boundaries and family ties has everyone picking sides in a drama thicker than a soap opera twist.
Woman sets up rules to avoid having to live with autistic sister.
Autism is troublesome, no doubt. It takes capacity away from people. Yet some may perceive it as an excuse for being lazy, thus makes those living with the autistic person frustrated. In some cases, boundaries are set.
For instance, this Redditor’s situation is a relatable tightrope. Her rules, like demanding a job and a spotless room, seem designed to keep Chloe, her autistic sister, at arm’s length.
The Redditor’s fed up from past experiences cleaning up after Chloe, who spent days glued to her tablet.
Meanwhile, Demi, the older sister, needs space for her growing family. Both sisters feel stretched thin, but are these rules fair play or a sneaky dodge?
From the Redditor’s perspective, her rules aim to prevent a repeat of past chaos. Living with Chloe meant playing maid and manager, which left her drained.
Setting boundaries like “no eating in the bedroom” or “clean for an hour daily” sounds reasonable, until you consider Chloe’s autism, which may make such tasks daunting.
Demi’s frustration, calling her sister out for setting Chloe up to fail, highlights the tension: these rules feel more like a moat than a welcome mat. The job requirement, especially, seems like a high hurdle, as Chloe’s on a waitlist for assisted living, suggesting significant support needs.
According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, about 21% of U.S. households provide care for an adult family member, often facing emotional and financial strain.
The Redditor and Demi are grappling with this reality, caught between love and limits. Neither wants to be Chloe’s full-time caregiver, but their approach, passing her back and forth, risks leaving her without a stable solution.
Psychologist Dr. John Duffy, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “Setting boundaries with family is healthy, but they must be clear and collaborative, not punitive.”
The Redditor’s rules, while practical on paper, feel like a passive-aggressive “no” rather than a constructive solution. If Chloe’s disability limits her ability to meet these demands, the rules could undermine her confidence rather than foster independence.
A better approach could be open dialogue with Demi to explore options like social services or shared support, ensuring Chloe’s needs are met without burning out either sister.
For the Redditor, neutral solutions could include contacting social services to expedite Chloe’s assisted living placement, as Reddit users suggested.
Splitting costs for a part-time aide or exploring adult daycare could also ease the burden. Both sisters need to team up, not toss blame, to find a path that respects everyone’s limits while supporting Chloe.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
Some people assert that expecting Chloe to work may undermine her assisted living eligibility and is unfair.
Some comments criticize OP and Demi for avoiding responsibility and playing “hot potato” with Chloe.
The community argue the rules were designed to sabotage Chloe rather than address genuine household needs.
![[Reddit User] − Why bother with the rules, especially if they are only meant to sabotage her?](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/wp-editor-1761270464487-21.webp "Sisters, One Pregnant, One Sets Up Unbearable Rules, Play \"Hot Potato\" To Avoid Taking In Autistic Sibling")
They recommend reasonable rules focused on common areas, not personal spaces, considering her disability.
This Redditor’s rulebook reads like a family feud script, with Chloe caught in the crossfire.
Setting boundaries is fair, but crafting rules to block her sister’s return feels like a plot twist gone wrong.
Was the Redditor justified in protecting her space, or did she stack the deck against Chloe?
How would you navigate this sibling saga without playing hot potato with family ties? Share your thoughts!
