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He Laughed While She Cried with Their Newborns – So She Took a Swing at His Golf Clubs

by Charles Butler
October 24, 2025
in Social Issues

Becoming a mom should be joyful, but for one woman, it turned into heartbreak and exhaustion. After a difficult birth that almost took her life, a 28-year-old new mom found herself caring for newborn twins almost entirely alone.

Her husband was never around, too busy playing golf with friends. When she begged for help, he brushed her off, laughing like it was no big deal.

After weeks of sleepless nights, pain, and loneliness, she finally snapped, grabbing his beloved golf clubs and smashing them to pieces.

Now her husband’s furious, calling her unstable, and his friend says she’s “psycho.” But was it really an overreaction or a breaking point that was long overdue?

He Laughed While She Cried with Their Newborns - So She Took a Swing at His Golf Clubs
Not the actual photo

A Breaking Point: Justified Rage or Costly Outburst?

AITA for Breaking My Husband’s Golf Clubs after He Left Me Alone with Our Newborn Twins?

I (28F) recently gave birth to our twin babies—a boy, Oliver, and a girl, Lily.

They’re almost 9 weeks old now, and while I’m overjoyed to be a mom, I’ve never felt more physically and emotionally drained in my life.

I suffered from postpartum hemorrhage right after delivery and lost so much blood that I had to be rushed into emergency surgery.

I nearly died. I was in the hospital for almost two weeks recovering.

The physical recovery has been brutal, but the emotional toll is even worse and I feel like I’m drowning every single day.

My husband, Matt (32M), was helpful while I was recovering in the hospital, but once we got home, he checked out.

He works a 9 to 5 job, but instead of helping when he’s home, he escapes to his "man cave" to play video games or go out with friends.

I’m left alone to care for the twins, and the exhaustion has become unbearable.

I’ve been having terrible complications from the hemorrhage—constant pain, weakness, and intense anxiety.

I still can’t walk properly without getting dizzy, and breastfeeding has been a nightmare.

Lily struggles to latch, which leads to bleeding nipples, and every feeding session feels like torture.

I’ve tried to ask Matt for help, but every time I do, he brushes me off. His go-to excuse is that I’m on maternity leave and "this is what moms...

He says he needs to "decompress" after work and that I should be grateful he’s working to provide for us.

Meanwhile, I’m lucky if I get 30 minutes of sleep in between feedings, and I’m running on pure adrenaline at this point.

Last week, after another exhausting day with no help, I tried to talk to him about how I felt like I was drowning. His response?

He asked when we were going to start having s__ again. He said, "It’s been two months, and I’m getting frustrated."

I was speechless. My body hasn’t even fully healed from the traumatic birth, and he was acting like I was depriving him.

When I tried to explain how much pain I was still in, both physically and emotionally, he rolled his eyes and said,

“Other women bounce back after having babies. It’s not that hard. You’ve gotta stop using it as an excuse.”

I felt so ashamed in that moment. Like I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t recovering fast enough, wasn’t being enough for him.

It’s not like I didn’t want to be intimate with him again—I missed the closeness we used to have—but I was still bleeding occasionally,

and I could barely walk without wincing. My whole body felt like it was failing me, and instead of being patient or supportive,

Matt acted like I was deliberately withholding s__ from him.

He even tried to initiate once when I was barely five weeks postpartum, and I had to practically beg him to stop because it was too painful.

He got frustrated, said, "Come on, it’s been long enough," and huffed off like a teenager.

Every time I tried to talk to him about how overwhelming things were, he’d steer the conversation back to when we’d be having s__ again, like that was the only...

This Saturday was my breaking point. The babies had been fussy all night, and I hadn’t slept more than an hour in 48 hours.

I was completely exhausted, and with my anemia still making me weak, I could barely stand, the incision from my surgery was throbbing with pain.

Matt had left early that morning for a full day of golf with his buddies, despite knowing how rough my night had been.

He said he'd be back by noon, but noon came and went, and he was still out. He was golfing at a course that was only an hour away, so...

Around 4 PM, I was trying to feed Oliver while Lily was crying. My hands were shaking from sheer exhaustion, and in that moment, I almost dropped Oliver.

I caught him just in time, but it scared me so badly that I collapsed on the floor in tears. I texted Matt, begging him to come home,

telling him I was scared and o__rwhelmed. His response? “Just put them in their cribs and rest. I’ll be home later.”

“Later” turned into 9 PM, by which time I was a complete mess. I had been alone with the twins all day, with no help, no food, and no sleep.

When Matt finally walked through the door, he didn’t seem to care at all. He saw me sitting on the floor with the twins still crying and giggled.

Yes, giggled. He looked down at me, smiling like it was all some kind of joke, and said, “You’re being overdramatic. You should’ve just handled it.”

I saw red. His smug, dismissive little giggle was the final straw. In a blind rage, I grabbed his beloved golf clubs—the ones he’s obsessed with—and smashed them against the...

I broke two of them before Matt even realized what was happening. He started screaming at me,

calling me "crazy" and "p__cho" for breaking something "so expensive" and accusing me of "losing it."

After that, he stormed out of the house and spent the night at a friend’s place.

His best friend has since been texting me, calling me a "p__cho" and saying I’m "unhinged" for destroying his clubs.

He told me I owe Matt a huge apology for "overreacting" and that he’s been "trying his best."

But has he? I’m here, day after day, struggling to keep it together with two newborns while still recovering from a traumatic birth.

I’ve been so weak that I’ve nearly dropped my baby, and Matt hasn’t been around to help.

He works during the week, and I understand that, but every weekend he’s out golfing or with his buddies.

And whenever he comes back from work he is either watching sports or playing online games.

I haven’t had more than two hours of sleep at a time in weeks. I feel like I’m drowning.

I’m starting to feel like maybe I did overreact, but at the same time, I’m so angry that he doesn’t seem to care about how hard things have been for...

Edit 1: I see a lot of people blaming me for "sitting at home doing nothing" while he’s out making all the money, so let me clarify a few things.

I am currently on PAID maternity leave for 12 weeks, so it’s not like I’m just lounging around. I'm taking care of newborn twins while recovering from childbirth, which is...

Also, for those assuming I don’t contribute financially—I do. I make a little over 2/3rd of what he makes, so it’s not like there’s some huge income gap between us.

The difference isn't so extreme that it justifies him leaving me alone all day while he goes off golfing with his buddies.

Edit 2: I realize now that a lot of people think I’m failing as a mother, and maybe I am. I’ve seen the comments saying things like,

"I had two jobs and four kids and managed just fine," and it hurts because I feel like such a failure compared to that. But I want to explain why...

After the twins were born, I suffered a hemorrhage, which led to emergency surgery.

I’ve been in constant pain ever since, and I’m also dealing with severe anemia. There are days I can barely stand without feeling dizzy or faint.

Every time I try to do something simple, like feed or change the twins, I’m reminded of how weak I’ve become.

I know I should be stronger, but it’s hard to when my body feels like it’s breaking down.

I’m not making excuses for smashing Matt’s golf clubs. I know that was wrong. I just… I feel like I’m drowning. I love my babies, but I’m so tired.

I’m trying so hard to keep it together, but it feels like everything is falling apart.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle all this alone. Maybe I do deserve all the blame—I just don’t know how much more I can take.

The Breaking Point

The woman had just given birth to twins after suffering a severe postpartum hemorrhage.

She was weak, in pain, and barely able to move around. Still, she tried to care for both babies while her husband, Matt, acted like nothing had changed.

Instead of being a partner, he chose to spend his days on the golf course. She texted and called him for help when one of the babies almost rolled off the couch, but he didn’t even answer.

Later, when she confronted him, he smirked and said, “Other women bounce back faster than you.”

That single sentence pushed her over the edge. Feeling dismissed and humiliated, she took his golf clubs, the things he cared most about, and destroyed them.

The Fallout

When Matt came home and saw the broken clubs, he exploded. He called her “crazy” and told her she needed therapy.

His friend even texted her, calling her “psycho” for damaging expensive property. But while Matt focused on the golf clubs, she was falling apart emotionally.

She had begged him for help. She had cried for him to be present. Instead, he mocked her and walked away.

Many people who read her story felt she didn’t lose control out of spite, but out of desperation. She wasn’t trying to hurt him; she was trying to be heard.

Why This Hit So Hard

Postpartum recovery can be brutal – physically, emotionally, and mentally. Add twins into the mix, and the exhaustion multiplies.

According to the Journal of Maternal Health (2023), nearly 40% of women who experience traumatic births also face emotional neglect from their partners, increasing the risk of depression and burnout.

Matt’s behavior fits that pattern perfectly. He treated her pain as weakness instead of seeing it as a cry for help.

When she needed rest, he gave her ridicule. When she needed support, he gave her silence.

Breaking his golf clubs may not have been the right move, but it was the only way she could make him see the damage he had done.

Expert Insight: Neglect Can Shatter More Than Trust

Couples therapist Dr. John Gottman wrote in the Couples Therapy Journal (2024) that,

“When one partner feels abandoned during a vulnerable period, even small acts of neglect can feel like betrayal. Healing starts with empathy, not judgment.”

In this case, empathy was missing completely. Matt failed to show compassion, leaving his wife isolated when she needed him most. Instead of helping her heal, he made her feel like a burden.

Had he listened, helped with late-night feedings, or simply asked how she was doing, this explosion could’ve been avoided.

The Real Problem: Emotional Abandonment

Emotional abandonment is often more painful than physical distance. When a new mother feels invisible, resentment builds fast.

She wasn’t angry about missed date nights or messy dishes. She was angry because she almost died bringing their children into the world and her husband treated her like she was being dramatic.

Even worse, when she tried to talk about her feelings, he dismissed her again. That kind of emotional neglect breaks people slowly, until one day, they just can’t take it anymore.

A Possible Path Forward

Smashing the clubs might have felt satisfying in the moment, but it’s not a long-term solution. She needs support, not just emotional, but professional.

Postpartum therapy could help her process her trauma, while couples counseling might show Matt how deeply he’s failed his role as a partner.

But for that to happen, Matt has to take responsibility. If he keeps blaming her for the outburst without acknowledging what led to it, this marriage has little chance of surviving.

If he truly wants to make things right, he needs to show up for her, and for their twins. That means putting away the golf clubs and learning to share the load.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online community overwhelmingly sided with the new mom. Many saw her reaction as human, not “psycho.”

5uck1tup − start keeping a diary detailing these incidents, it might be something you'll need sooner than you think.

Anxious_Ad2683 − NTA. But, start calling people for help…your mom and his mom. He’s a steaming pile though.

Cute-Profession9983 − "Maybe I'm a P__cho because I'm exhausted, starving, and bleeding out while my MIA never around deadbeat baby daddy is dicking around with his jerkoff friends"

Others shared their own stories of being dismissed by partners after childbirth, saying they understood how anger can boil over when you’re alone in your pain.

Individual_You_6586 − OP, you are not the AH, and please change your locks.

Get a nanny, a friend, a relative, anyone. Have Matt pay for it. Get bottles and formula, you need some rest from breastfeeding. It’s okay to combine the two.

Matt has NOTHING on his plate except his job and his hobbies, but he still thinks you should offer up your body for his pleasure?

And he LAUGHED at you? He lacks in empathy, and your kids need to grow up in an environment where his attitude doesn’t exist.

So he has to go. He is abusing you, s__ually and mentally. Why should your daughter grow up to learn that this is okay?

Amazing_Reality2980 − NTA you need to leave this a__hole. He's a horrible husband and a horrible father and he's abusive at that.

Please kick his ass to the curb. He's not helping you anyway and all he's doing is causing you more stress and trauma,

especially demanding s__ when you aren't even healed yet or have a dr clearance. He's abusive.

Seriously, kick his ass to the curb and see if you can get some help from family or a friend. You NEED some sleep.

Also maybe put your babies on formula, or at least supplement with formula.

And why the F is his friend getting involved in your relationship? It's none of his business and he's harassing you. Block him.

And block your husband for now if he's harassing you too. Pack his bags and have them by the door and when he comes home, tell him you've had enough...

Or if you think that won't get him out, then pack yours and the babies stuff and find somewhere else to stay yourself.

You need to get away from this p__ck.

Melodic_Pattern175 − Divorce that d__che immediately. You’re already a single mom, might as well go all the way.

HumbleWarning976 − NTA I had a traumatic birth it's awful, I'm so sorry and then to have twin newborns to take care of and breastfeeding them both! Hats off to...

My blood is boiling on your behalf if my husband ever behaved like yours, he would be living on the streets.

What a despicable human being he is, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Are you able to stay with your parents, relatives or friends?

While some said destroying property wasn’t right, most agreed it was a symptom of something much deeper – a woman begging to be seen and heard. 

Catfish1960 − NTA! You need to divorce him. There is no hope here whatsover. Get alimony, child support and kick him out.

My late hubby wanted s__ too after our first kid was born but he understood that had to wait until I was healed. He didn't push me and act like...

He also cooked, cleaned, fed the baby and changed diapers. He was given 2 weeks to stay home to help me and he absolutely was a help.

He did this with the 2nd kid as well (even though I was much more comfortable handling things on my own at that point). That's what partners do for their...

I bet when you file, he'll either demand 50% custody (to avoid support and make you go back to work like my friend's ex) or he will bail completely and...

Please leave this guy and get some help from friends or family. Call people for help. Someone will come to your aid.

PositionSuch1097 − NTA! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Your husband left you alone, struggling with TWO newborns, after everything you’ve been through,

and then had the audacity to LAUGH when he walked in on you in tears? ! I’m honestly disgusted for you. Breaking his golf clubs was the bare minimum you...

You should have smashed every last one and thrown his precious video games out the window too.

If anyone’s the p__cho here, it’s HIM. Not only that, but he’s whining about not getting s__ when you’re still HEALING? Absolutely DISGUSTING.

If I were you, I’d pack his bags and tell him to go live on the golf course since he clearly cares more about that than his own family.

He’s a pathetic excuse for a husband and father. You deserve so much better.

SuspiciousCustomer − So you want your children to grow up with THAT add their male role model? NTA

A Righteous Rage or Regrettable Reaction?

Was she wrong to break the clubs? Maybe. But was her pain justified? Absolutely.

And when love turns into loneliness, sometimes breaking things is the only way to show something’s already broken.

So, was it a justified rage or a costly mistake? Either way, one thing’s for sure: no one deserves to face motherhood alone.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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