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Mother Loses It When 24-Year-Old Daughter Announces Another Baby Instead Of A Diploma

by Katy Nguyen
October 7, 2025
in Social Issues

Parenting doesn’t really stop once your kids grow up, it just shifts into new, often messier territory. One parent on Reddit recently learned that the hard way after finding out they were going to be a grandparent again, this time under less-than-ideal circumstances.

When their older daughter announced she was pregnant with a second child despite struggling to finish school and stay afloat, the parent snapped. Frustration spilled out in a moment of honesty that quickly turned into an argument.

Now, they’re left wondering if tough love makes them a bad parent, or simply one who’s had enough.

Mother Loses It When 24-Year-Old Daughter Announces Another Baby Instead Of A Diploma
Not the actual photo

'AITA for my reaction for the news of the new grandkid coming and telling them to get their s__t together?'

I have two daughters, Bethany is 22 and has her life together. She just got a good job and is doing really well.

Abby is 24 and doesn’t have her life together. She dropped out of college at 19 since she got pregnant, and then the baby daddy left.

I’ve been a huge part of the kids' lives while Abby tries to get back on track.

At 23, we decided that she needed to go back to school since she couldn’t support herself being a waiter.

The whole time I was the free babysitter, basically raising the kid. So she had one year left of her higher education, and she fucked it up again.

So grandkid two is coming, and she said she will most likely drop out again. When she told me, I asked if she was joking.

She got defensive and asked what I meant. I told her that she needs to get her crap together.

It resulted in an argument, which she stormed out after calling me an a__hole. My other daughter said I should post her and see if I was an a__hole.

Edit: So I have a plan now, and I will lay it out for her tonight. If she has the kid, she can only stay if she stays in school.

She has to go to court and get child support for the first kid and do the same when the other one arrives. I will only babysit twice a week,...

If she needs me to babysit more, she needs to pay, and it will be the cost of the average babysitter where I live.

She needs to provide all the baby’s stuff; I’m not paying. If she decides to drop, she's going to be out of the house and needs to figure it out

It’s clear this situation has stirred strong emotions on all sides. The OP is grappling with frustration and responsibility, while also confronting family patterns that have repeated over time.

The core issue revolves around Abby, the younger daughter, and her repeated struggles with parenting, education, and financial independence.

OP’s reaction, telling her to “get her s__t together”, can seem blunt or harsh, yet it stems from a history of stepping in as the primary caregiver and witnessing patterns of dropped responsibilities.

Bethany, the older daughter, represents a contrasting path: stability, independence, and professional achievement, which heightens OP’s exasperation. From Abby’s perspective, she may perceive the comment as judgmental or lacking empathy, which can feel isolating, especially during pregnancy.

This dynamic highlights a broader social issue: family caretaking imbalances. According to a 2015 Pew Research report, about seven-in-ten (72%) American grandparents who say they have cared for a grandchild in the preceding 12 months say they have provided only occasional babysitting.

Experts note that such caregiving can trigger “resentment cycles” if boundaries are unclear.

Michael W. Austin, a professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University, explains, “Parents have discretion regarding how to fulfill their obligations, but they do not have such discretion regarding whether to do so”.

In OP’s case, the structured plan she outlines, school attendance, legal child support, limited babysitting, and self-sufficiency—directly addresses this issue by setting clear expectations and boundaries.

Neutral advice here involves balancing empathy with accountability. OP should communicate these boundaries calmly, emphasizing concern rather than judgment, and offer support in practical ways (e.g., legal guidance or childcare resources) without subsidizing dependency.

Open dialogue may reduce defensiveness while reinforcing responsibility. Ultimately, the story’s core message is about the fine line between caring for a family member and enabling unsustainable patterns.

OP’s experience underscores the importance of setting limits, fostering independence, and making difficult but necessary decisions for both her well-being and her children’s long-term growth.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These Redditors roasted Abby for her irresponsibility and backed the OP’s decision to finally draw a line.

Petefriend86 − NTA. So, clarifying, Abby is literally out f__king around while you're providing free babysitting?

If I had to argue about this, I would simply stop providing my services for free.

various-randoms − NTA. Let her fall on her ass. Stop helping and bailing her out.

CakeZealousideal1820 − NTA let her know you cannot watch both kids. She needs to figure out what she's going to do to support both children

Mysterious-Bag-5283 − NTA, she is an adult now, let her face the consequences of her actions.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your daughter needs to contact the father(s) of these kids and get them on child support (if that is available where you are).

You should not be responsible for raising her children. If you want to go the tough love route, you can evict her and force her to be an adult. She...

You will still be a part of her life and your grandkids' lives, but just as a grandparent, not a full-time parent.

wausmaus3 − NTA, not the a__hole. She needs to know about consequences. Did she tell you how she was planning on supporting the second child?

A large group of users supported the idea of setting firm boundaries instead of endless enabling.

Rude_Vermicelli2268 − Abby is TA When you are caring for another adult’s child because that adult is financially unable to cope and they get pregnant again which entails dropping out...

She needs to stop procreating and figure out how to earn enough money to take care of her children.

What would she do if you dropped dead? It doesn’t sound like she is in a position to afford housing, food, and daycare, which you’re providing.

Anyone can have a child. The key is to wait until you can actually afford to take care of your child without pushing most of the work and cost onto...

From her response, it’s clear she knows she’s wrong; she just doesn’t like being called out. No sane parent would be happy in this situation.

Usual_Acanthisitta_8 − NTA. Might've been a better way to explain, but she definitely needs a wake-up call.

Plus, she needs to be on BC, or at least have the guy use condoms. Personally, I think she should explore getting and a__rtion, not only for her sake, but...

pnutbuttercups56 − NTA. Why is she going to drop out? She can take online classes. She's an adult and has to live with her choices.

You helped her because she needed the help, but she can't expect that you will just fully raise her children.

Scion41790 − NTA at all. Sometimes tough love is justified, especially when she's relying upon your kindness.

nobody_special_3 − NTA. Did she not figure out what causes pregnancy the first time?

She honestly needs to get her s__t together, condoms/birth control/the plethora of contraceptives available aren't hard to use.

And if used properly are very effective. If you're smart, it's not hard to avoid getting pregnant. 1 oops should be enough to get smart imo.

Others leaned toward structured compassion, not abandonment.

sarcastic-pedant − I think you need to talk to Abby properly. She has one year left, and to give up now would be a massive waste of both of your...

She could continue until she is 8 months pregnant and then finish after baby number 2 is born, and then be able to provide for her kids better.

If I were you, I would offer support for this path only. If she quits, it is her responsibility to get an income and look after her own kids or...

Both-Fudge1866 − NTA: Maybe she needs a hard wakeup call. But that is a tough decision on your part.

You can stop helping... which would mean one of your daughters has to drop out and cannot work anymore because of 2 small children and assume 0 support from the...

Under the condition that she finishes college. No matter what.

You can apply for one free semester, so to speak, in heavy cases. A birth probably fits in there. You are sadly between a rock and a hard place here...

Finally, several users agreed that OP’s blunt words might have stung, but they were justified.

Any-Strawberry-9395 − NTA. It needed to be said.

jrm1102 − NTA - did you sound like an AH with some of your comments to her, maybe? Was it justified? Probably.

Do I think this post is written too succinctly, and you come off worse than you are, yeah.

This story struck a chord with parents who’ve been caught between love and limits. Many agreed that OP’s frustration was the inevitable result of years of overextending herself. Still, some wondered if an ultimatum could fracture their relationship for good.

Was it a fair wake-up call or a step too far? Parenthood doesn’t end when your kids become adults, but maybe, it should evolve. What do you think? Would you have drawn the same hard line? Drop your thoughts below!

Katy Nguyen

Katy Nguyen

Hey there! I’m Katy Nguyễn, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. I’m a woman in my 30s with a passion for storytelling and a degree in Journalism. My goal is to craft engaging, heartfelt articles that resonate with our readers, whether I’m diving into the latest lifestyle trends, exploring travel adventures, or sharing tips on personal growth. I’ve written about everything from cozy coffee shop vibes to navigating career changes with confidence. When I’m not typing away, you’ll likely find me sipping a matcha latte, strolling through local markets, or curled up with a good book under fairy lights. I love sunrises, yoga, and chasing moments of inspiration.

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