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Fiancée Demands Paternity Test For Partner’s Daughter, Upon His Ex’s Affair’s Lasting Echoes

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A woman, deep in wedding plans, stirred drama by pushing their fiancé for a paternity test for his five-year-old daughter, Chloe, citing his ex’s infidelity. Footing half of Chloe’s upbringing costs, they crave clarity before vows, turning love’s glow into a tense standoff.

Reddit’s AITA erupted with spicy takes on loyalty versus truth, as the fiancé, steadfastly raising Chloe despite her mom’s flaky presence, faces doubt. This saga of devotion and DNA questions runs deeper than a soap opera twist, splitting hearts and opinions.

Woman wants her fiancé to get a paternity test for his daughter, for feat that they might not be related.

Fiancée Demands Paternity Test For Partner’s Daughter, Upon His Ex's Affair’s Lasting Echoes
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for wanting my partner to get a paternity test?'

I'm getting married next spring to my fiancé (30M), who has primary custody of his 5 year old daughter, Chloe.

Chloe's bio mom is in and out of the picture, but has only seen her a handful of times this year, and last year was the same.

Chloe's mom is now with another man and has two other children (aged 1 and 2). She does not pay child support.

Since we've been engaged, I've been nudging my fiancé to get a paternity test for Chloe.

He and Chloe's mom broke up because she was cheating on him, and he acknowledges there's a possibility Chloe isn't biologically his.

I just want proof she's his before we get married. I'm not sure what I would do if she wasn't his,

but I feel like I should be allowed to know the full situation since I'm paying for half her upbringing. AITA?

The Redditor probably wants a fresh start with her fiancé, hence the wish to have Chloe out of the picture as her mom. But she has her point for wanting her partner to get a paternity test, as there is a possibility that the child is the product of an affair. Let’s break it down.

She wants certainty about Chloe’s biology before committing to a lifetime of shared finances and parenting. On one hand, it’s practical: raising a child costs an average of $310,605 from birth to age 18, per a 2022 USDA report. Knowing the stakes feels reasonable.

On the flip side, the fiancé’s bond with Chloe, biological or not, is the heartbeat of this story. Pushing for a test risks shattering that connection, especially since he’s been her rock for five years.

The Redditor’s doubt stems from the ex’s infidelity, a wound that lingers like a bad aftertaste. Yet, the fiancé’s choice to raise Chloe, despite the uncertainty, screams devotion louder than any DNA test could. Reddit users called it: questioning paternity now feels like questioning his fatherhood.

Dr. Kristin Anderson Moore noted in “Marriage and the Family”: “…family structure matters for children, and the family structure that helps children the most is the family headed by married, biological parents.”

This applies here: Chloe’s stability hinges on her dad’s unwavering love, not a lab result. Forcing the issue could destabilize that bond, leaving emotional scars.

Zooming out, this saga taps into a broader issue: navigating blended families. About 40% of marriages in the U.S. involve stepchildren or complex family dynamics, according to Pew Research Center.

The Redditor’s hesitation reflects a common fear: committing to a role without full clarity. But love isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s messy, but it’s human. A neutral approach? Have an open chat with the fiancé about fears and finances without demanding a test. It’s about trust, not truth.

Check out how the community responded:

Some believe pushing for a paternity test is insensitive and prioritizes personal concerns over the fiancé’s bond with his daughter.

megano998 − YTA. It’s clear your fiancé wants this young child in his life.

She’s not going anywhere. This is the package deal. You are either in or you are out.

Stinp1 − YTA, he probably doesn't want to know if she is or isn't. It will 100% break his heart if she isn't. Have some sympathy for the man.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Since:

a) He is happy raising Chloe as his daughter and doesn't want to give her up.

b) The mother is disinterested and clearly didn't get custody for a reason so it's not like Chloe could go back to her anyway.

c) Given a) and b), you will be paying for half of Chloe's upbringing if you stay with him no matter her paternity.

What exactly would getting a paternity test accomplish? Only flipping a coin to potentially destroy his relationship with his child,

along with the stress of a lengthy and expensive court battle if he feels spited enough to sue for child support afterwards.

Let the man continue to have faith that Chloe is his daughter if that's what he wants.

actuaIhumanbean − YTA have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps he also worried he may not be her biological father but doesn't want to know?

As far as he is concerned that's his kid, end of story.

What happens if he's not her biological father? That would likely crush him.

And for what, so you can then push him to stop supporting her because she's "not his real daughter?"

Ask yourself what your end game is and if you actually care about his feelings at all.

Others argue that biological paternity is irrelevant since the fiancé has chosen to be the child’s father.

Crystalraf − YTA. Because maybe he loves his daughter even if she’s not his bio daughter.

You do not need to share DNA with someone in order to be a parent.

[Reddit User] − YTA, big time. She's his daughter, biological or not. He has chosen to take primary custody of her and has been her dad for five years.

What do you mean "I'm not sure what I would do if she wasn't his"? Unless the answer is "marry him anyway and treat her exactly the same

because genetics don't make someone a dad" then I would take a really hard look at yourself.

He doesn't care if she's his biologically, so why do you?

The_ScienceBi − YTA - what does it matter if the child is biologically his?

It's still his child. He's her father. He's chosen to take care of her and love her.

If your partner had adopted a child, would you feel the same? I'm not sure what I would do if she wasn't his I'll tell you what you should do....

Your decision to care for this child shouldn't depend on whether or not she shares genes with your partner.

She doesn't share blood with you regardless, are you saying she doesn't deserve love and caring and protection from you?

I feel like I should be allowed to know the full situation You do. Your partner has a 5 year old daughter. Period.

Some view the push for a paternity test as an attempt to disrupt the father-daughter relationship.

Gangreless − YTA - You don't want proof she's his, you want proof she isn't his.

He has raised and loved this little girl as his daughter for 5 years and you waltz in and start questioning whether she's his "real" daughter.

You're a d__k. "Since I'm paying for half her upbringing" JFC you better hope your fiance doesn't see this s__t.

Honestly I'm p__sed off for him. Unbelievable.

cynicalsaint1 − YTA You say " I'm not sure what I would do if she wasn't his" but that's a pretty f__king important question to answer

if you're going to put your fiancé and HIS daughter through something like that.

And that's the thing here - it's his kid, he's raised her - her biological mother clearly isn't up to the task,

and the question is kind of irrelevant at this point, unless you think that Chloe is better off with the mother

(which from the sound of things clearly isn't true).

She's his daughter whether it's biological or not, and it really sounds like you're just looking for a way to get between them.

This Redditor’s paternity test dilemma is a rollercoaster of heart and hard truths.

Is it fair to demand proof when love’s already written the story? Or is clarity a must when dollars and devotion are on the line?

The fiancé’s bond with Chloe shines brighter than any test result, but the Redditor’s need for certainty is relatable.

Would you push for the truth, risking a family fracture, or let love lead the way? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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